Eleven years and ten days ago Vic had her first blotched back surgery that lead to 81 abdominal surgeries. She lived another 4027 days with excruciating pain, indignity and misery because of the ego and arrogance of a neurosurgeon. Her little body systematically being destroyed by the sepsis left behind by an idiot doctor.
Dr FS, you arrogant fool, you stole my daughter’s life, you stole a mother from two young boys, you stole her smile, her joy, her laughter, her marriage, her hope! You gave her despair, pain, a mangled broken body, faeces running out of her intestines into a bag, an open wound.
You coward, you would not face me in the passages of the Milpark ICU. You denied me the truth. You stole my child’s life!
You called my child a morphine addict. You withheld opiates from her after surgery. You SAID that the sepsis in the Pro-disc could be stopped with antibiotics…It was not necessary to remove and replace it…. 4027 days later it took her life…. Her little body riddled with infection, her body burning up with fever! For 4027 days she suffered!
You condemned my child to 11 years of horrific suffering and misery. Not a single day of her last 4027 days was she without pain.
I wish you saw her tears of pain whilst she was packing her little boys lunch boxes. I wish you heard her 4-year old son say “Don’t worry Mommy. I made my and my brothers beds because your back is sore”. I wish you saw the despair in her sons eyes. She was never able to give them a “normal” life. You ensured that they spent their childhoods in their sick mother’s bedroom and not in the garden playing ball with her…
I still hear her saying “Mommy I am so sore even my ears ache…”
What do you hear? The crisp sound of money? Certainly not my little girl’s screams’ of pain!
If only you said those magic words…”I am sorry….” You arrogant fool the only words you uttered were “I refuse to accept that I am the cause of Vicky’s condition…”
Coward! I hate you. You have my daughter’s death on your conscience. I hope you rot in hell!
Vic's Final Journey 
i hate arrogant docs, i’ve had my share. they can’t see the suffering they cause.
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Can he not be made accountable? Legally?
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working in the medical field for many years i knew more than one dr like this. i also knew many humble compassionate drs. it is unconscienable that this man could live with himself after breaking his oath to do no harm. he will be held accountable, even if it is not in this life.
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I hope one day you can forgive him, for he didn’t know what he was doing. I checked with Vicky, and she did.
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Hello, Tersia. I was checking in to thank you for the Liebster blog award, and came on this harrowing post.
It is very hard to forgive people who cause suffering to those we love, far harder than it is to forgive people for causing us suffering ourselves, and it may be that you will never be able to forgive him, paritcularly for his arrgoance.
It may be that he was just a puppet in this – that Vic’s suffering had a purpose according to a great pattern beyond our comprehension in this world – much as perhaps the horrors of say, the holocaust may have had a purpose that we can’t comprehend with our finite minds?
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Your opening lines say so, SO much. I wish every doctor would read these words.
This is a very painful read, truly. I picture Daniel in that place. I admire you for staying above things.
The picture is awful – sorry, but she just seems so vulnerable, so vulnerable. It hurts to view.
This post aches. I would (if it werre my situ) keep until as many comments as possible, print and post with ‘strictly confidential’ on the envelope, to be sure THAT doctor opens the mail intended for THEM.
Did they not make eye contact in the passageways? Fking disgusting human behaviour. Of course, of course, that crisp sound of money.
Sincerest best wishes to you.
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There can be no conscience, no caring for the people these ‘professionals’ control with the stroke of their prescription pen, or diagnosis without research. God is preparing a special place in HELL for them
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I am so moved by this post. I know several mothers who are grieving the loss of their children but I don’t think any of them have a member of the medical profession who they hold responsible for it. This can only make your grief even harder to bear. I feel your rage. I wonder too if the doctor is motivated by a sense of his own infallibility even more than by money.
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We are so often told we have to forgive, forgive, forgive….well we also have to feel and acknowledge our rage, anger, frustration, indignation, hatred and all the other feelings that come before forgiveness. If we don’t then we are injuring ourselves even further by denying these powerful feelings. We need to have our rage heard and acknowledged. I hear you, Tersia. I feel you, Tersia. You are safe to tell me how you are filled with rage, anger and hatred for those you feel are responsible. I have no solutions for you that you have not probably already considered. My only advice is take no action until you are past the intensity of all of these emotions. Just keep loving yourself, honoring your feelings. Perhaps indulge yourself in mental scenes of torturing the arrogant SOB. And then, when enough time has passed, you will know when or if there is forgiveness in your heart. And if there is, you will do it for YOU, not for them.
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Reblogged this on Vic's Final Journey and commented:
So much pain. Will anything ever drown out the sound of my child’s cries of pain?
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You’re angry Tersia. Yes, get it out, this post made sense, now find your peace. Each time you feel anger well-up towards this dumb doc, say out loud “I forgive you Dr Dumbass.” (Insert idiot doc’s name). I’m being facetious, but I am serious. Tersia, teach your beautiful grandsons this precious gift of forgiving, of taking back your joy, of finding peace. Vick will be so grateful.
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