Today it is exactly six weeks since my precious child died. It has been such a rollercoaster ride.
I have gone from feeling numb and “accepting” to the deepest pit of despair and sorrow. I have gone back to working and trying to live a “normal” life again. I have laughed and cried. I have learnt to keep my sorrow to myself.
I have however had days this week where the sadness overwhelmed me. I have felt that I am drowning in it. The house is empty. I miss Vic’s smile. I miss her hugs. I miss our chats and text messages. I miss her smell and touch. I miss my daughter and friend.
It is a mere 6 weeks, and I don’t know whether I will ever heal. I know it is early days, but I also know my heart.
Judy Unger sent me these words and today I am posting it because it articulates EXACTLY how I felt this past week. Thank you Judy! It is as if the realization of Vic’s death only hit home this week….
I MISS MY CHILD!!!!!!!!MY TEARS FILLED AN OCEAN Copyright 2011 by Judy Unger When you died my tears filled an ocean I was violently submerged, gasping and barely able to stand the shock Swirling in a raging current, a current of time I was paralyzed and choking, wanting to drown, but unable to sink The current dragged me along. It seemed endless . . . Soon all my energy was gone. Anger at my fate depleted me further I was going to somewhere unknown. The journey was filled with horror I tried not to look while fighting to escape from the endless drift Exhaustion led to floating. The current kept moving Fighting it was useless; there was no going back to where I began…