Closing the blog down


It appears that I have offended family by publishing my blog.  I have decided to close it down.

I apologise for offending or hurting anyone.  It was never intended to hurt anyone.

Thank you for your love and support. Your love and support has helped me through a very difficult time of my life.

Published by

tersiaburger

I am a sixty plenty wife, mother, sister, grandmother and friend. I started blogging as a coping mechanism during my beautiful daughter's final journey. Vic was desperately ill for 10 years after a botched back operation. Vic's Journey ended on 18 January 2013 at 10:35. She was the most courageous person in the world and has inspired thousands of people all over the world. Vic's two boys are monuments of her existence. She was an amazing mother, daughter, sister and friend. I will miss you today, tomorrow and forever my Angle Child. https://tersiaburger.wordpress.com

39 thoughts on “Closing the blog down”

  1. Tersia, I am so sorry for what is happening to you! Please know that I experienced a lot of problems similarly when I began writing. I couldn’t control the gushing honesty that erupted and it also affected my family. But I was able to realize how sharing helped me and I turned my writing to my own feelings. Begin a new blog – but keep writing about YOUR FEELINGS! It is your release and has allowed you to hold hands with those that feel your pain. Of course, you never intended to hurt anyone. I am crying now, because you are falling into that horrible abyss and I am reaching to find you in the darkness. Please know that this will pass – you are a treasure and Vicky is in so many people’s hearts because of you. You are in my heart!

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  3. I agree with others that you need to write, though maybe publish differently. That is why my blog is anonymous. I don’t use pictures of family members or anything that would let my family know it is me that is writing it. I write for me — not to offend them. Take care of yourself.

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  4. I just want to say my heart continues to go out to you, and Vic was your baby. Writing helps the grieving heart to heal, maybe your family is in such pain they cannot bear yours as well. I don’t know- but you should start a new blog so you can continue to write. You are so gifted. I would encourage you to write a book on grieving to help others- God means for us to use the bad things to help someone else. I love you Tersia.
    cyber hugs,
    Janice

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  6. Ai dis jammer! Hou egter aan op jou eie manier, want sluiting in hierdie proses van rousmart is so belangrik. Jy is broos op hierdie stadium…ek sal vir jou bid my ou maatjie!

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  7. You have a right to your anger. It’s part of the grief process. I offended my family, but you know, it’s the truth. You are a talented writer. It’s how I get things off my emotional things. Just don’t let them know which blog name you’re writing on. That should solve that. Just let the ones YOU want to have it. I hope it you will include me in that bunch.

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  9. Tersia I know how painful it is when family don’t like your writing, I have lost part of my family through writing my truth. It really hurts, I know
    I hope you find another way of writing the way your other readers suggest.And don’t let this hurt too much- remember everyone sees life through their own lens, their own perception, which has nothing to do with you.
    Thinking of you – warmest wishes, XXXXX

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  10. Dear Tersia
    Please do not close down your blog, reading this has become part of our lives. Can’t imagine what has been offending to family members as all you did was share your thoughts and emotions with us. I know that when the time is right you will write Vics life story. Love Joan x

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  11. ABSOLUTELY DO NOT DO NOT sut your blog down if they don’t like what is said they don’t have to read it. what the heck are they upset about the truth …well it hurts only those that are guilty. Stay your ground do not give in don’t let any one walk over you or tell you how to run your life or blog!!! besides I would miss you!!

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  12. No way! Please don’t! I am family too… I come here almost daily to share in your grief and cry with you. It eases my own pain to have fellowship with you here. *crying* Will miss you…
    X

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  13. tersia only you know what is best for you and i respect whatever decision you make. it does sadden me to think that you will no longer have the support of other bloggers, people who can really understand and not judge. i can only hope that you think this is what vic would want you to do. this was for you and for her. though i will miss you and would have liked to been part of your healing process it is selfish and arrogant to think i know what is best for you.

    you will be missed and welcomed back with open arms.

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  14. Tersia,

    It is hard to find the right balance between sharing, honesty, and keeping family members onside. Only you can judge what is most important to you, and while I appreciated greatly the honesty and rawness in your blog, if you need to take a pause I understand.

    Thank you for letting us witness your courage, care and love..

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  15. Tersia, it’s your blog and you can write anything you want. Please don’t stop or change the way you are blogging. Please! Juliexxx

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  16. dear Tersia, your words have helped so many, as reflected from what others have said to you and what I personally feel about your writing. You wrote from your heart and your experience — and it helped you through this very difficult time. Your blog has given me courage and inspiration and made me feel that my own role as a caregiver was the right thing to do. Your love for your daughter has taught us all that love knows no boundaries…you gave your life for your child! I hope you reconsider and do not give up your blog…or, at the very least, begin another blog. I think your blog should be made into a book! It is a book of such great bravery and care for another soul! We need to hear stories such as yours in our world today!

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  17. I’ve already commented, Tersia, but I can’t stop thinking about your dilemma, and hoping very much that you won’t close the blog. I can’t imagine who could possibly be offended by a blog through which Vic continues to shine, as you do.

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  18. Dearest Tersia, sorry to hear about the opposition from others who might not understand you or your intentions. We as the readers were blessed by your honesty and inspired by your love for your child. Continue to write down whatever you want to even if it is the old fashioned way of a hand written diary kept in the back of your cupboard. I will miss reading it but someday one of those family members will be blessed by reading it. I agree with all the comments above and will miss reading your blog but you know what is best in this situation. Be blessed with God’s comfort and know that it is enough to know that He knows. Love and hugs.

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  19. Tersia, I am following a mom with 3 autistic children, and one has a bad heart. She wrote this for her. The poem made me think of you and Vic. I know Vic was a grown woman, and some of the verses don’t apply, but Vic will always be your baby girl:

    sweet baby girl,
    your deep brown eyes and wide innocent grin
    make all the dark things disappear
    i don’t want you to go

    not ever, but especially not yet
    i didn’t get to show you so many things
    or watch you grow up
    or walk
    or say words

    there are so many times i should’ve stopped
    whatever else i was doing
    to spend more moments with you, staring at your face,
    letting you poke me in mine
    it doesn’t seem fair that someone as perfect as you
    had to have such an imperfect mom

    wait, baby. don’t go just yet. i need to sing to you again
    read to you, hold you, touch your delicate fingers,
    watch you sleep and listen to you breathe

    special hearts don’t make it in this life.
    i’m sure heaven is nice or something.
    i know you deserve better than this world
    but i still don’t want you to go
    not yet
    let me be selfish just a little longer, sweet Abigail
    your smile is light and happiness

    every day a little darker, filled with moments of joy and worry
    lacy blue veins decorate your torso, spread to your fingers and toes
    another sign that you can’t stay
    i feel you growing lighter in my arms
    your skin is getting delicate
    and there’s no cushion underneath it when i pick you up
    and i worry it hurts you
    i worry your bones will poke through

    i don’t want you to be unhappy
    i don’t want you to be uncomfortable
    but i don’t want you to go

    not yet, baby girl. just another little bit before i have to say goodbye.

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  20. It is so gut wrenching when others cannot accept your own way of doing things. Why else would we be individuals for God’s sake? No two people grieve alike.

    I am so sorry tesia, It would seem this is not something someone else should have power over., but will not pretend to know the history, God bless you lovely lady!

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  21. Hope you keep writing for your own sake, for healing. I think you can make the posts password protected so the people you don’t want reading your blog will stop. I shut my blog down once because I lost a job over it. Didn’t even say anything wrong. I really regret it. I lost most of my readers too. It was 2 years ago and getting new readers has been a very slow process. Consider the privacy option. Praying for your peace.

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  22. Tersia, I will miss your writing and hopefully you will continue to post. Whatever is your decision, God bless and be with you and your family. If you do decide to begin another blog, I hope you will send a note so that I can follow your words.

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  23. Dear Tersia, I don’t know or understand what exactly the reasons for you wanting to close the blog down are – but i would really miss it ! I enjoy reading it on a daily basis and find that it has been extremely helpful to a lot of people trying to deal with their own grief. It is inspiring and beautiful – and helps me to know that with this blog – we keep the lovely memories of my dear Vicky alive within our hearts and souls. It would be very sad to know that there is nothing to read about in the near future. I think your writing is awesome !!Love you lots !

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  25. I have only just come across your blog – perhaps you responded to my ‘Dr Death came calling.’

    You wrote with such perfect dignity and love.

    Keep writing – your writing is a precious gift to many others – you are needed.

    Yours from the universal realm of love,

    Roger

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  26. Tersia I am so sorry that you are being put under this pressure from some members of your family. I recall reading in one or two of your posts that Vicky knew about your blog and read it too. If Vicky was OK with you sharing her pain and suffering and ultimately her death then I think that should be sufficient to silence the critics. Of course some people prefer not to think about or confront the ugly realities of what Vicky endured but you walked the walk with her every step of her journey and it’s your and Vicky’s story to share or not, the story of an incredibly strong mother-daughter bond. So please don’t shut down your blog, leave it as a memorial to Vicky and know that others will draw strength from your example. If it offends some remind them that it’s not compulsory reading. ((hugs))

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  27. I agree with everyone here…..your blog is important to us, but more for you. Grieving the loss of a child is not only the most cruel thing we can go through it is an on going battle. It has been 15 months as you know since my Morgan has been ripped from my world. Blogging gives me a way to keep going. no one i mean no one can ever understand you pain but you. In my opinion you keep doing what you need to do. its your grief, your pain…

    We are in you corner I want to share a link with you that is for only people like us, although it is heart wrenching to read the stories it is an immense support for me….maybe you will find the same comfort in it as well. Do not give up on what gives you any kind of outlet….
    Hugs <3

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/Grievingmothers/

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  28. Dearest Tersia, Despite your silence at this moment – I can still hear you. I imagine there are few words that exist to write of your despair. Feel my hug across the world.

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  29. You just followed me and touched my Heart with Vic’s story.
    I seen this after. Don;t close the blog.
    You are a TRUE Angel.

    Shaun x

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  30. Tersia, I lost my mom in December and hence lost touch temporarily with my writing friends, with you and your daughter. I was distraught this morning to learn that Vic’s journey has ended, and of what must be an indescribable void in your life. I can’t even imagine. I am so very sorry for your loss. I keep you in my heart. Write, Tersia. Write your way back to life.

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  31. When people speak out about things not usually publicly discussed, there is always backlash. My family has made it pretty clear they don’t like me blogging about my illness, but they only mentioned it once then dropped it. Well, all except my Mother In Law. But I hear we’re not supposed to get along anyway. ;)

    As with everything in life, you must do what you feel is right.

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  32. But you haven’t shut it down as of 16 March 2013, so I am hoping you have changed your mind.

    Your blog, your choice.

    Please don’t shut it for family. We do so much for other people, forever. Please choose for yourself, not them.

    They are just going to have to learn to accept that you have a voice and feelings and emotions – and so do others in the world – and some of these people in the world with a voice and feelings and emotions, they like to connect on that baseline and through writing. They’re just going to have to accept that, even if they don’t understand it.

    And if they don’t accept it, that would be their problem.

    I really hope you don’t shut down, Tersia. Blogging is a truly valuable communication, in this day and age.

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  33. Dearest Tersia; I’m so, so sorry that I did not read this (or any of your recent blog entries) until now. I’ve been spending little to no time writing or reading blogs the past few weeks.

    I hope that you find a way to keep your blog without being hurt by their opinions – for your sake – because it seems like this has been a good outlet for you and a powerful source of love and support. You deserve so much to be happy and at peace and to be able to find whatever comforts you can during this unimaginably difficult journey you’re on.

    If you do disappear from WordPress I very much hope that we could keep in touch. I would sorely miss your presence in my life – be it online or not. Your blog and your story has taught me so much about love, pain, perseverance and courage. You and Vic have built yourselves a special place in my heart.

    My email is katie.robertson@live.ca. If you do decide to close down the blog I would love to be able to talk with you that way.

    Lots and lots of love and hugs. ♥

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  34. Tersia – You should not shut down your blog. You are writing what you feel and that is what writers do. I am sorry, your family members feel as that you are hurting them, but you are only being truthful and honest. Maybe they should stop reading it and then they won’t get offended. So many times in life we allow others to control how we should feel, you should not allow that to happen. I hope you consider doing what makes you feel better, instead of what makes others feel better. This is your outlet, your way to vent and share with others. I hope you reconsider the thought. If not, I want you to know I have enjoyed your blog and I have enjoyed communicating with you. I also, want you to know that you and your family will remain in my prayers daily.

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