Watching my child slowly die, doing her eulogy and living 424 days without her are the most difficult things I have had to do. Today I discovered another impossibly difficult thing to do… My child’s estate.
This morning I had to walk into the bank and ask for the last three months of my child’s bank statements. When the lady asked whether she could help I replied that I needed duplicate bank statements. She kindly directed me to a booth and asked for my ID document. I explained that I was looking for the duplicate bank statements of my dead child… and burst into tears.
My hands were shaking as I tried to find Vic’s death certificate and her identity document. The tears prevented me for seeing what I was looking for.
The bank clerk handed me a tissue and said “I am sorry for your loss”.
A second bank official walked in and immediately asked what’s wrong. I could not speak and the first lady explained what I was looking for. She put out her arms and hugged me.
“I lost my son three years ago…” she said. “I know how you feel…”
Some days are more difficult than other. Some days I am able to live my new life. Most days I am able to live my new life. My life without my precious, beautiful baby girl. But there are days that the grief just overwhelms me and I am a wreck. Today is a one of those earth and heart shattering sad days.
I closed Vic’s bank account today.
Each word of this tore at my heart and caused the tears to flow. Why? because the pain traveled through space and entangled with mine. It tore at me to feel, my friend how deep your pain at having to close Vics account. It is these everyday ‘normal’ things that majority of people do without thinking that once you lose your child becomes nearly insurmountable. It was unfortunate yet a blessing that the lady knew what you were going through and helped you. Prayers and love my friend , prayers and love.
LikeLike
Oh my friend, what you must be feeling no other can understand…as much compassion as we offer, we cannot walk in your shoes. It is enough to face losing your daughter, but all these other things that require closure, are painful reminders. I am sending you the warmest embrace. I’m thinking of you.
LikeLike
Thank you my friend.
LikeLike
Huge hugs
LikeLike
my dear tersia my heart breaks for you. although i have not lost a child i did lose someone who i loved like the air i breath. it has been 26 years i can cry like a baby at the most random times. i am not the kind of person who cries easily. your lose is devastating but you are here and there are those who love you and need you. that obviously doesn’t mean you forget vic and your great lose.
how heartwarming that there was someone there who could embrace you and really know how you are feeling. i would like to add my big warm hugs and love to you my dear friend.
LikeLike
Thank you my dear friend
LikeLike
I have no words. I am crying with yours.
LikeLike
Thank you my friend
LikeLike
I add to this another one of those awful jabs – that is receiving letters and seeing his name on the envelope. Believe it or not, even after 21 years I’ll occasionally get a letter saying “Jason Unger” with a special offer for a person of the age he would have been if he had lived. He never grows older, but advertisers don’t know that. It tears open my heart each and every time!
LikeLike
Dear God does it never end?
LikeLike
I almost cried reading this Tersia. My heart aches for you and goes out to you. I’m glad you had a kind clerk and sadly but helpful in the moment one who could relate. Hugs xo
LikeLike
Me too. United in our grief for our children.
LikeLike
Yes. xo
LikeLike
Oh Tersia, my heart goes out to you. HUGS.
Diana xo
LikeLike
Thank you Di
LikeLike
Thinking of you. Praying for you. ❤️
LikeLike
Oh Tersia my heart breaks for you.
LikeLike
Tersia – I remember when I had to do the same thing for my son. It is so brutally real and painful. I am grateful there was a woman who really understood how hard it was for you and shared that with you. Gentle hugs <3
LikeLike
I’m so sorry your heart is so broken. I won’t even pretend I could try and imagine the pain you must feel. I am sending you support, strength and love.
LikeLike
Thank you!
LikeLike
I remember when I had to ask the bank for Philip’s bank records. Thank God my husband closed his account – I just couldn’t deal with another thing that meant Philip was dead. Thinking of you, Tersia, and sending warm hugs.
LikeLike
Thank you so much Denise for sharing this with me. You can only truly understand if you experienced it. Hugs
LikeLike