I am waiting for a sign

I came to Chaka’s Rock with the intention of scattering some of Vic’s ashes here. The rest we would bury in her Angel Garden at home.

When we arrived we went shopping and came back with beautiful flowers. Vic’s photo and ashes are in the dining room that has a beautiful view of the ocean. Her flowers next to her…

Somehow I have just not been able to make my way down to the beach with Vic’s ashes. I know that I will receive a sign from her that this is what she wants… When a white feather finds me I will know it is the right time and place.

Vic and I often spoke about what to do with her ashes.

“Mommy, you can decide what to do with my ashes…”

“What would you want me to do with your ashes Angel?” I would ask

“You can decide Mommy. You can put me in the Wall of Remembrance with my Father if you want?” Vic would reply

“Maybe we will just make a memorial garden for you and keep you with us…” I would say

“Oh, that would be good Mommy!” Vic would say “That is what I would do for you…”

I am waiting to see if a white feather finds me…

19 thoughts on “I am waiting for a sign

  1. She will find her way to you, she loves you so…it’s another letting go, even though her ashes are not her spirit. I’ve Philip’s ashes and sometimes I think I should scatter some, but I’m not ready. You’ll get your sign, and I’ll get mine. Much love to you at this so-difficult time.


    1. How well you understand! Thank you Denise. It is almost as if I still have part of her. I know her soul left her body when she died – I saw it – still I cling to a little box of ashes. You are right Denise – I shall wait for my sign.


      1. there isa no way you are a wimp!!!! It is hard to let go again and that is what it is letting go again so take your time grieve as you must and if the time never arrives tol et go of her ashes that is ok to. Let no one make the decision for you …if it is meant to be then the sign will be there if not hold the peice of Vic you have wherever you are.


  2. after I heard all the chatter yesterday through the baby monitor, I found a small baby blue feather in my bathroom. What does this mean?


  3. after all this you feel like a wimp? maybe you are listening to vic’s voice. maybe she told you what she wanted when she said what she would do for you. maybe her boys not understanding and being concerned what part of their mother will stay where they can go to her and seek comfort is a message.

    you my dear friend are no wimp! you are one of the bravest women i know. when every thing is quiet and still, just listen … the message will be there.


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