A mother’s loss…

“No one loses a child the way a mother loses one. We are the ones who first felt life, carried it and protected them, nourished them, sacrificed our bodies for them, held them first in our hearts, then first into our arms. We were not only connected through flesh, but on levels so deep, you really have nothing to compare it too metaphysically.

It is a love so raw, and so elemental that is just present – just there from the beginning. We have a link to our children that cannot be replicated. No one understands a grieving mother except for another grieving mother. No one else can begin to understand that void that surrounds us, shadows us, haunts us. Our children’s screams that we can no longer answer, their bodies we can no longer grab and embrace, their tears we can no longer dry, and their hurts that we can no longer make better. They then become our own unanswered screams, our bodies that become un-embraceable, our tears that can never be dried and our hurts that never stop. There are constant reminders of what we live without, and must live without until we die – sometimes it feels like it’s life’s cruel way of taunting us. The grieving mother is never whole again, never fully present, because a piece of her heart and soul leave her with her child’s last breath.”


May God have mercy on us…

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I am a sixty plenty wife, mother, sister, grandmother and friend. I started blogging as a coping mechanism during my beautiful daughter's final journey. Vic was desperately ill for 10 years after a botched back operation. Vic's Journey ended on 18 January 2013 at 10:35. She was the most courageous person in the world and has inspired thousands of people all over the world. Vic's two boys are monuments of her existence. She was an amazing mother, daughter, sister and friend. I will miss you today, tomorrow and forever my Angle Child. https://tersiaburger.wordpress.com

30 thoughts on “A mother’s loss…”

  1. Your post describes grief, agony, hurt and loss that comes along as an unwanted side effect of losing a child; commonly thought to be bereavement symptoms. You wrote correctly that only another mother can understand these intense feelings that overcome a grieved mother.
    God bless you – you are dealing with the loss of Vic in such a constructive way by helping others.


  2. I agree, and is so true. Children are a part of mothers and and losing a child is literally losing the best, big part of you. I pray for healing, comfort, and peace that passeth all understanding for you and any grieving mother reading this.


      1. Thank you Tersia! My greatest need has always been to be able to express myself. As long as the focus was on healing, the book had a greater purpose. You started a hospice! That to me is way brave and very healing!


  3. Oh, Tersia, every word of this post is true and gut-wrenching. I am a bereaved mother and know very well about “the amputation of my soul.” But the part that is missing is how we find a way to go on without the torture. When you wrote the last line of “God have mercy on my soul” – well, that is your answer! Somewhere, someway – you will find a blessing in your life that will help to ease your sorrow and anguish. It is just too soon to expect this when you are bleeding profusely. Hang in there and stay hopeful. One day those “constant reminders” will give you a warm feeling, a smile and a lighter feeling than the torture you are living. One day . . .


  4. Tersia, it breaks my heart to know that you live this every day. And it makes my heart sing when I learn of the wonderful things you do in her memory like the hospice… You will see her again one day. HUGS


  5. I have not lost a child by death, so I cannot say, I know how you feel. But in some ways, I do know how you feel and the grief is unquenchable. I pray that “JOY” will give you that wonderful healing and refreshing glass of “blessed water.”


  6. Amen, Tersia. Sometimes I wish my daughter understood more. She doesn’t like to talk to me about Philip because I get so upset. But you’re there, and you’ve no idea how that helps. I must’ve said this a thousand times – I’m so sorry we had to meet, but if it has to be, I’m grateful we’re in this together.


  7. Well-said! A mother’s grief is exactly what I have been suffering since my only child, my 5 1/2 year-old adorable, super healthy, profoundly witty and intelligent, happy son, Julian Jacob Worrell of Genealogy Saloom was kidnapped on May 08, 2012 under the color of law for a very evil soul who vowed to ruin me, along with his family, if I carried through with the birth of our child in 2006. My son was taught to call someone else Mommy, and I haven’t been allowed any meaningful contact for over two years, and the Enemy still pursues me through government corruption in Harris County (Houston), Texas. He was my right arm. We look exactly alike. Please pray that Julian comes home to me soon so that I can walk him to his first day of school that I prepared him for, having been a former educator.

    I am so sorry for everyone else’s grief as discussed whose love actually passed-on, however, my six year old son should not have been given classes on how to “grieve the loss of ‘Mommy'” while “Mommy” is still alive. This is repulsive. The veil is definitely lifting, Folks!

    “Bear the sufferings of one another, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2, The Holy Bible, NKJV).

    Joni Faith Saloom
    c/o 4430 Morris Drive
    Pearland, Texas 77584
    E-mail: jonisaloom@sbcglobal.net
    http://www.jonisaloom.wordpress.com–The Real Mommies and Daddies of the Real America…And their Children Who Want to Come Home

    Veritatem Dilexi–Through Truth, Knowledge


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