I had stopped all visits. It was family time. Our little family united in the trauma of our loved one’s dying.

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The boys were back at school on the 9th of January. On Monday, the 14th of January, it was Jon-Daniel’s academic awards evening. Vic had so desperately wanted to attend. The Sunday evening she begged me to please promise her that she would attend. I promised her, knowing that it was a death-bed promise I would not be able to honour.

Sunday night, the 13th of January 2013, Vic gently slipped into a semi-coma. She was no longer conscious of what was happening to her and around her. She was only able to respond by blinking her eyes…

Monday morning Vic woke up….She was alert and asked to go to the toilet. She was unable to stand on her own and Primrose and I half-carried her… Her little body dumped it contents. Vic was petrified. She had not eaten since Christmas. I undressed my precious child and held her up in the shower. I washed her hair and her painfully thin little body. I was soaked but Vic was clean.

“Mommy I am dying… I don’t want to die. I am so scared.” Vic cried

“I know my angel. Mommy is here…”

“Mommy, I am so sore. Please can I have something for pain?”

“Angel, do you want the normal dose or the increased dosage that Sue prescribed?”

“The increased dosage Mommy…”

“Sweetie, you know that it will make you sleep…”

“I know Mommy. I cannot bear the pain anymore…”

“Must I keep you on the increased dosage angel?”

“Yes please Mommy….”

I drew up the syringes. It broke my heart trying to find a site to inject. Her little body was so bruised.

“Okay my angel. I am ready when you are” I said

Vic nodded. The tears brimming in her eyes. “I love you Mommy” she said

“I love you too – with all my heart” I said as I injected the medication into my precious child’s body.

Vic looked at me with so much love in her eyes. She knew that the sedation stage had started with the increased medication.

Vic had spoken her final words. Vic knew that the medication would take effect and that her voice was silenced. My precious baby girl was ready to take the hands of her angels that would accompany her on her final journey. She had fought her battle.

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“I love you Mommy were the last words Vic ever spoke.

SET YOU FREE

You’re hanging on as night turns to dawn

I know you can’t stay and soon you’ll be gone

we both know it’s hard to let go; wherever you are my love won’t be far

your smile, your touch, your voice, your face; your essence I will never replace

though I long for you to hold me; I need to set you free

There is no fear and your leaving is clear

we’ll still have our love it remains with each tear

I cry as you leave but I truly believe; as you leave my sight we’ll both be all right

your smile, your touch, your voice, your face; your essence I will never replace

though I long for you to hold me; I need to set you free

though you have flown to somewhere unknown

we’re never apart ’cause you’re here in my heart

 your smile, your touch, your voice, your face; your essence I will never replace

though I long for you to hold me; I need to set you free

though I long for you to hold me; I need to set you free  http://myjourneysinsight.com/

These words belong to a dear WP friend, Judy Unger.