This weekend we were showered with love. A good weekend for us as a family but a lousy one for Vic. Vic is in a lot of pain. Mercifully she sleeps most of the time. The sharp stabbing abdominal pains are getting worse. Strangely her temperature is only slightly elevated but her heart rate and blood pressure is high. Signs of pain… Today was particularly bad, Worse than yesterday…
Esther brought Vic wonderful nutritional rusks – so she can take MEDs first thing in the morning, Lanie a huge pot of sweet corn soup that Vic devoured and Tracy Chinese soup and cake for the family. Gill popped in with Chelsea buns. I was so touched by the caring of our family. I know it is hard for them to see Vic like this. Gill, as she walked down the passage to Vic’s room said, “now my blood pressure is going to be high again…”
Gill lives in Whiteriver, a four-hour drive from me. We have been friends for roughly 34 years – literally and figuratively through thick and thin. As young Mom’s I did blood and plasters and Gill did dentists and invasive tests. When Vic was in hospital, as a little girl, Gill would sit with her and Len would take me for tea and anchovy toast!
In 2007 Vic was desperately ill and I sent Gill a text message at 9.30pm to say “Vic is in trouble. Been put onto life support. Pray for her” The next morning Gill walked into the hospital to be with me. When the doctors told us they were switching the life-support machines off as Vic had no chance of getting better and surviving the septic shock and ARDS, Gill sat with me. Gill came home with me and helped me tell the boys that the doctors said their Mommy was going to die… We took turns in holding the boys that night. The next morning we walked into the chapel and prayed that God would spare Vic one more time… Gill stayed with me the entire day. God spared Vic.
Gill is an amazing person – she works so hard on her friendships. She has a clipped way of speaking and has amazing compassion. She chats to the boys on BBM. She checks in with all of us on a regular basis. I think she is amazing because we are all so focused on Vic that we sometimes forget to ask the boys how they are!
What I want to say is that this is so hard for the people around us too. Many people/friends have come and gone but Gill and Len have stuck around. There are other friends too – not many though. And of course our wonderful family. It is hard for them to not only see Vic suffer but also the rest of the immediate family. I will go to my grave eternally grateful for this wonderful friendship.
Poor Lani arrived this morning with her eyes swollen from crying. Yesterday would have been her sister-in-laws 40th birthday. Anmar tragically died in a car accident in November last year. Of course my blog triggered so much emotion in her. She has decided to take a break from the blog as it is too difficult for her to read. She has such a “soft” heart.
It is amazing how Danie’s kids have accepted Vic and I into their lives. How they talk about their sister. Vic grew up as an only child and was 16 years old when I married this wonderful man. She hated Danie and spoke of him as “that man”. But from the second that we said “I do!” Vic has called him Daddy…Danie has treated her exactly as if she is one of his own! On Saturday morning he took her toast and coffee at 06:30 so she could take her tablets and allowed me to sleep in. During the week Jared makes his mom breakfast so I can sleep. Vic has MEDs at 03:00 and I go to sleep after that. Thank goodness I work from home and can sleep in a bit. The nights seem to be more difficult for Vic than the days.
I am rambling. Thank you Esther, Lani, Gillian and Tracey for your love and support.
Vic's Final Journey 