Vic’s monuments of Mothering… 9.6.2012

Today was another bad day!  Esther came to visit and was in tears when she walked out of Vic’s room.  Not because Vic looked worse but because Vic actually admitted to Esther that she was feeling terrible.  Vic will not often admit to anyone that she is not feeling well.  The minute someone walks into her room she puts on a mask.  She is always “fine”.  Normally she laughs too much and too loud – I have just realized that I have not heard her laugh in a couple of weeks.  When last did she laugh??  I don’t even know when last she came through to my TV lounge!  Over Easter she would still come through and lie on the sofa and watch TV with the boys and me.  Deteriation has sneaked up on us…

When Vic came to live with us, seven months ago, she was so scared that we would highjack the parenting role from her.  She was a little dictator.  She ruled her boys with an iron fist.  I always smiled at how tiny she is and how “scared” the boys are of her.  When she speaks they listen.  Scared is the wrong word – respectful may be a better word.  Every morning she got up with the boys and took them to school.  Most afternoons she would pick them up from school.  We would help only if she asked.  It must be almost four months that we have taken over the fetch and carry duty from her… Vic is no longer able to parent the boys.

It is amazing how everything always works for the best.  I am so grateful that Vic is back home.  She has seen that the boys are settled and happy.

Vic has raised two beautiful, caring, compassionate, honest boys.  She has made her mark in life and will leave “two monuments” of her mothering.  I am so proud of my child!

It is amazing that in seven months her health has deteriorated to this extent.  For 10 years she has been living with a death sentence, she has been in and out of hospital, in and out of the theatre, in and out of ICU…but never bedridden.  She has always walked or tried to walk.  She has always tried to remain part of the family and take care of the boys.  She loves driving her little car and fetching the boys from school and taking them for milkshakes.  Watching them do sport…For 10 years she has gotten dressed every day at home!  Always wore make-up and had her hair immaculate.  The past two months she has remained in bed, in pajamas with no make-up.  She has been “out of bed” three times in two months.  Once to the pain clinic…And then paid the price…

Today Vic received a beautiful note from her childhood friend, Gia. She was so delighted and we will try and reply tomorrow if she feels a bit better.  I am so proud of Gia – Senior Director of an International Corporation…Amazing how a “child” becomes this “international expert”… When we spoke about Gia Vic said “I must be such a disappointment to you.  I have done nothing with my life!”

I have thought about that – Vic always knew what the prognosis for Osteogenesis is.  She was determined to live life and not waste it on unnecessary activities…She only ever wanted to be a Mommy and a wife.  She is a wonderful Mommy.  If Vic had a career she would not of had been able to spend the time with her boys that she did.  Vic has put a lifetime of motherhood into 13 and 15 years respectively.  I am so proud of the mother that she is, the daughter she is, the person she is.  I love her unconditionally.  I am proud of my beautiful, brave, caring, loving child.

Vic is the bravest person I know!  For many years she bravely fought OI – Now she has made the bravest decision of all…the decision to give up the fight.

May God give Vic the strength for this last heartbreaking part of her journey.  The long goodbye…