And Hospice says “Go!”



South Africa is advertised as “Sunny South Africa” with beautiful white shores and blue skies.  Barbeque is our national pastime.  Today is an overcast day.  It is as if Mother Nature is preparing me for England’s grey skies, drizzling cold and wet weather.

By now I assume everyone has concluded that I got the go-ahead from Hospice to travel!

I am hopping, skipping and jumping with excitement.  I cannot wait to see my UK babies.  Not only see them but hug, kiss and hold them.

Vic is insisting that I go.  We are both fearful but I also realise that I desperately need a break.  There is never a perfect time.  Vic is very swollen and not well at the moment.  She is partially obstructed but we will clear it by Thursday.  The Hospice Sister will pop in every day to evaluate and monitor her and report back to me.

In the words of the Hospice Sister Ceza:  “Things are slowly going downhill.  Go now.  You need your strength for what lies ahead”.

Timing, as always, is an issue.  Vic is well enough for me to travel but on Monday it is little Yuri (youngest grandson’s) school concert, Simone (2nd eldest granddaughter) birthday and Lani’s (2nd eldest stepdaughter) 40th birthday in the week that I will be away.  I have still not seen Liza and Adrian…. On the other hand I will get to see the girls “trick or treat”, Chloe is on a week’s school holidays and I will watch the extravagant Guy Fawkes fireworks displays and bonfires being lit… I feel so selfish and caught between two fires.

I am scared for Vic, worried about the boys, guilty for Yuri, Simone and Lani and excited as can be about seeing Danie, Michaela and the girls.    On the one hand I feel so selfish.  On the other hand I realise that I need a break.  It has been a year out of hell!  On a daily basis the demands on me are increasing.  It sounds as if I am having a pity party and/or trying to justify my decision to go to the UK….Yes I am!

The Hospice Nurse will start on Wednesday evening.  I must shop for groceries and ensure all meds are in stock.  I must write up a medication schedule for the nurse….

Got to run!  Lots to do!  I will make it up to everyone….I hope!

I will only be 14 hours away from Vic….


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I am a sixty plenty wife, mother, sister, grandmother and friend. I started blogging as a coping mechanism during my beautiful daughter's final journey. Vic was desperately ill for 10 years after a botched back operation. Vic's Journey ended on 18 January 2013 at 10:35. She was the most courageous person in the world and has inspired thousands of people all over the world. Vic's two boys are monuments of her existence. She was an amazing mother, daughter, sister and friend. I will miss you today, tomorrow and forever my Angle Child.

25 thoughts on “And Hospice says “Go!””

  1. The Burgers of Bedworth are so looking forward to you visiting, and I wish Vic were able to make the journey so we could sit and cackle like two old dears. I will however have the kettle on for your arrival. Feet up, and relax ( well as much as you can with 3 busy girls) xx


  2. Hooray – a little time away. Those Hospice people are very sensible and I am so glad you will get a break and get to see your other family. Enjoy the space, take rest in the break and girdle up for days to come.
    I just hope our weather is kind to you. Go for it!


      1. I am sure you are. I hope you have a safe flight and a great time while you are here. Which part are you coming to?


  3. take vic at her word that she wants you to go. no one can change you feeling guilty, however, in my humble opinion you have no reason to feel guilt. you deserve this and so do your other family members. can’t wait to hear about your wonderful adventure.


    1. Thank you Sandra. I have been reading some of your “archived” post and I think you are incredibly brave. Keep well. I think of you every day of my life.


  4. It’s great your having a holiday. You don’t need me to tell you, bring those warm clothes and that umbrella. I hope the weather over here improves just for you.


  5. Enjoy your visit Ters! You are blessed with loving kids and grand children. I’m here for you and will help where necessary. Do we still have a date for tomorrow evening?


  6. Rekax on the plane and charge your batteries. Enjoy the dsys with the girlsn and the tea and chats with Mac after suppper. Call abck the past. Mac miss the times we spent when you lived in Joyce street. Spoil T and enjoy the time she is with you all. Tersia no guilty pills, Enjoy, I am only 3 hrs should the family need me. A call is all it takes.


    1. My dearest Gillian, I will try. I miss the Joyce Street days…life was so carefree then. It seems like a lifetime ago!! Your number is on the nurses list and of course the boys know where to find you…


  7. gaan geniet dit my niggie – ek dink ook jy het nou net ‘n heel ander milue nodig – ek weet dis maklik om te praat as ekself nog nooit in so situasie was nie – but go my darling you defnitly need this urgently


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