I am setting you free my angel child


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Tonight I can truly sing this beautiful song to Vic…

SET YOU FREE

You’re hanging on as night turns to dawn

I know you can’t stay and soon you’ll be gone

we both know it’s hard to let go; wherever you are my love won’t be far

 

your smile, your touch, your voice, your face; your essence I will never replace

though I long for you to hold me; I need to set you free

 

There is no fear and your leaving is clear

we’ll still have our love it remains with each tear

 I cry as you leave but I truly believe; as you leave my sight we’ll both be all right

 

your smile, your touch, your voice, your face; your essence I will never replace

though I long for you to hold me; I need to set you free

 

though you have flown to somewhere unknown

we’re never apart ‘cause you’re here in my heart

 

your smile, your touch, your voice, your face; your essence I will never replace

though I long for you to hold me; I need to set you free

though I long for you to hold me; I need to set you free  http://myjourneysinsight.com/

My baby girl is in the final stages of dying.  She has developed a bedsore on her heel and her hip appears to be cellulitising… Vic is jaundiced and her heart rate is up to 160 bpm. 

I have been lying next to her for the better part of the day listening to her slightly laboured breathing.  Vic was catheterised today and the appearance is the urine fills me with dread.  It is brown red in colour. 

It is amazing that all Vic’s wrinkles have miraculously disappeared.  Her skin is unlined.  In death she is heartbreakingly beautiful.  Her face is serene.

For all intents and purposes Vic’s suffering is over.  This part of her journey is peaceful and serene.  I am burning candles.  The house is quiet but for Vic’s gentle yet shallow breathing.

I decided today that it would be in the boys’ best interest to spend a day or two with a friend.  Jared is with Ricardo, BFF, and Jon-Daniel is with Henk, cousin.  I cannot bear the thought of them witnessing Vic death and then Vic being removed from the house.  They were so relieved when I gave them the option.

There is a steady flow of visitors in and out.  Mainly family.  My sister from Pretoria and my brother from East-London have arrived. 

I am numb from tiredness.

Esther brought Lasagne for dinner.

It is going to be a long night.  I honestly believe Vic will not see the end of this week. 

20 thoughts on “I am setting you free my angel child

  1. Liewe Tersia, Danie, Jared en Jon-Daniel maar baie spesiaal Vickie

    Ons word gebore met ‘n doel op aarde. Party mense leef sommer net en beweeg net aan sonder om ooit ‘n indruk te maak op enige mense se lewe nie.

    Julle dogter en mamma het hierdie afgelope maande soveel in ons lewens beteken. Dankie Tersia dat jy hierdie pad met ons gedeel het. As ‘n mens ‘n kind in die wêreld bring het jy verseker nie die pyn in gedagte meer as geboortepyn! Vir jou as mamma moet daar ‘n MONUMENT opgerig word. Verder het jy ook Vickie se klein manne mooi gelei oor siekte, dood en die leiding en wat daarna sal volg…. Hoe het jy jou man ook bygestaan en ook nog verder ander kleinkindertjies en geliefdes nie versorg? ‘n Ma en vrou duisend!

    Danie – jy verdien ‘n medalje! Jy het reeds God se guns gewen! Dankie vir dit wat jy vir Tersia, Vickie, Jared en Jon-Daniel gedoen het!! Jy weet, toe God Adam geskape het, het Hy hom na Sy BEELD geskape en HY moes ‘n persoon soos jy in gedagte gehad het toe HY jou vir hierdie gesin gekies het.

    JARED and JON-DANIEL – your mom’s legacy will live forever ~

    She will live in your hearts and be remembered as a very brave young women:

    She never gave up

    She didn’t want to go, but she had to, and most important she is really okay now.

    God bless you guys..

    Thank you for sharing this yourney with us.

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  2. The final leg of life’s journey is often the most difficult for the loved ones left behind but you have such wonderful insight. Your love will give you strength during this difficult time.

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  3. For Jason
    For Tersia and Vic and anyone mourning their angel

    ANGEL IN THE SKY
    Copyright by Judy Unger 2013

    My love for you grows over time
    with every song and every rhyme
    I dream about your sweet embrace
    your sparkling eyes; your beautiful face

    You are my angel in the sky, like a butterfly
    you flew away and couldn’t stay
    we had to say goodbye
    I can’t help but cry
    you must know I miss you so
    my angel in the sky

    Your precious smile glows in my mind
    you uplift; and are my gift
    When I die; you’ll take my hand
    my lovely light, just not in sight

    You are my angel in the sky, like a butterfly
    you flew away and couldn’t stay
    we had to say goodbye
    I can’t help but cry
    you must know I miss you so
    my angel in the sky

    Dearest Tersia, It’s interesting that when my father died six months ago how I experienced many of the same things. His skin was also smooth and he looked beautiful. I rejoiced when he took his last breath. I feel your exhaustion; you truly are a midwife coaching a birth into another dimension. I cannot tell you how touched I was to see the words of my song on your post – tears are streaming down my face.
    I want you to know that this whole experience of reaching out to you through cyberspace and your grasping my hand – has been life encompassing for me. I go through my day thinking of you and your family. It triggered many feelings, all of which inspired me to write a new song this past weekend. I wrote it for Jason and no doubt I was thinking of everyone I have recently connected with suffering with loss. I will share a recording soon – it is god-inspired and chilling. It is almost a challenge for me not to sing my song without bawling. Thank you for being my inspiration and know that I am also holding your hand.

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  4. My dear Tersia…what to say at a time like this that does any justice to what I feel…
    All my love goes out to you and the boys, I wish that this had never been your burden to bear. I wish that Vic never had to experience a life filled with such pain and instead was given the healthy life so many take for granted.
    Thank goodness she is at peace now, with such an incredible mother at her side. I know there’s not really anything much that I can offer you from so far away over the internet, but if you need anything I am here for you.
    You and Vic truly are incredible and you’ve both touched my life deeply. Each tear that has slid down my cheek since I’ve started writing this is a little drop of proof.
    My thoughts and prayers have been and will continue to be with you constantly. I pray for some comfort for you during this long night and the days, weeks, and months that follow.

    Hugs and love,
    -Katie

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  5. I am relieved that you have your faith to sustain you all a this time of parting. You have all, especially the lovely Vic, been heroic and what you have written will help countless other people.

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  6. Thank you for sharing Vic’s transition from this journey to the next. Just know that strangers all over the world have been touched in more ways than you can imagine. Bless you all and know that your family is in the prayers of many. Godspeed Vic, your wings are waiting.

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  7. My heart aches for you, Tersia, as you bear witness to Vic’s transition to another life. I’m not a Christian, but my mom was, and I remember her writing this to my brother, and me reading it to him, as he was dying, and the poetry of the words brought joy to my heart. So, I’m passing this along to your beloved Vic. “May the Angels lead you into paradise; may the martyrs greet you at your arrival and lead you into the holy city, Jerusalem. May the choir of Angels greet you and, like Lazarus, who once was a poor man, may you have eternal rest.”

    Blessings from me and so many others who are holding you in their hearts~

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  8. I’m nominating you for the Lieber blog award, not because I am insensitive enough to believe that you care at all about blog awards at this time but because I believe that throughupir courage in writing these posts on Vic’s death you will find that you have helped countless other people.
    Thinking of you.

    Like

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