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Tonight I can truly sing this beautiful song to Vic…

SET YOU FREE

You’re hanging on as night turns to dawn

I know you can’t stay and soon you’ll be gone

we both know it’s hard to let go; wherever you are my love won’t be far

 

your smile, your touch, your voice, your face; your essence I will never replace

though I long for you to hold me; I need to set you free

 

There is no fear and your leaving is clear

we’ll still have our love it remains with each tear

 I cry as you leave but I truly believe; as you leave my sight we’ll both be all right

 

your smile, your touch, your voice, your face; your essence I will never replace

though I long for you to hold me; I need to set you free

 

though you have flown to somewhere unknown

we’re never apart ‘cause you’re here in my heart

 

your smile, your touch, your voice, your face; your essence I will never replace

though I long for you to hold me; I need to set you free

though I long for you to hold me; I need to set you free  http://myjourneysinsight.com/

My baby girl is in the final stages of dying.  She has developed a bedsore on her heel and her hip appears to be cellulitising… Vic is jaundiced and her heart rate is up to 160 bpm. 

I have been lying next to her for the better part of the day listening to her slightly laboured breathing.  Vic was catheterised today and the appearance is the urine fills me with dread.  It is brown red in colour. 

It is amazing that all Vic’s wrinkles have miraculously disappeared.  Her skin is unlined.  In death she is heartbreakingly beautiful.  Her face is serene.

For all intents and purposes Vic’s suffering is over.  This part of her journey is peaceful and serene.  I am burning candles.  The house is quiet but for Vic’s gentle yet shallow breathing.

I decided today that it would be in the boys’ best interest to spend a day or two with a friend.  Jared is with Ricardo, BFF, and Jon-Daniel is with Henk, cousin.  I cannot bear the thought of them witnessing Vic death and then Vic being removed from the house.  They were so relieved when I gave them the option.

There is a steady flow of visitors in and out.  Mainly family.  My sister from Pretoria and my brother from East-London have arrived. 

I am numb from tiredness.

Esther brought Lasagne for dinner.

It is going to be a long night.  I honestly believe Vic will not see the end of this week.