Esther’s Living Eulogy

Esther was the first of Danie’s children that I met, when we started dating.  It was a couple of weeks before her wedding.  I was so thrilled when she asked me to go with her for the final fitting of her wedding dress

I will never forget her words to me in the car that day:  “Don’t worry about us kids.  Just worry about you and my dad”

I cannot remember whether I articulated my fear of her and her siblings, but she sensed it!

I was PETRIFIED of Danie’s four children.  I did not particularly like children.  Maybe my mind refused to accept the fact that I love children because I made the conscious decision to not subject a second or third child to Osteogenesis Imperfecta.  The OI gene was passed onto Vic by her Dad, but we had been divorced for many, many years and I accepted that I could not have another child.  I did not have space in my heart for another child.

I loved Vic with an all-consuming love.  I did not always like her, but I always loved her!

I met the kids and I was petrified.   They were livelier than any other children I had ever met with their own little quirks.  I actually never dated a man with children until I met Danie!

I blogged on the proposal before and will not bore you with the beautiful details of it again…  .  You are welcome to read the post on it.

We have been married for 22 years.  For 22 years these amazing children have crept into my heart and firmly lodged themselves there.  They have accepted me into their lives.  They loved and nurtured my Vic.  I am a punker bunker granny to their children…

Esther, is very outspoken, to the point, honest and an amazing wife and mother.  She is loyal to a fault, independent and fiercely protective of her loved ones.  Esther is compassionate and unbelievably intelligent.  She has a superb sense of humour but very sensitive.  She is an amazing person.

Esther nursed her husband through Stage 4 Colon Cancer.  She researches nutritional sites for correct and healthy food.  She is totally focused on her family and will demolish anyone or anything that threatens them.


Esther was truly the sister Vic always wanted.  There were times when things were rough between them.  There were differences and some hurt.  But…there was a gentle love between the sisters.

Esther popped in to visit Vic almost every day.  They texted and BBM’d.  They shared war stories about their children.  Esther was Vic safety blanket… Esther would lie in bed with Vic and hold her hand.  She encouraged and helped.  As a pharmacist she was amazing in assisting us with Vic’s meds in the last couple of weeks.   As a sister she told Vic to let go; that the boys were safe; that she was loved and would never be forgotten.  She told Vic to go towards the light…. Jon-Daniel went to stay with her in the last days of Vic’s life.  She was there when Vic left home the last time.  She may have been there when Vic stopped breathing – I can’t remember.  I know that she sprayed Vic’s favourite perfume on her before Vic left home….



Esther and Leon with Vic 10.1.2013
Esther and Leon with Vic 10.1.2013

So Esther, if you read this know that I love you deeply.  Know that I respect you for the beautiful person you are and for being an amazing mother to my beautiful grandsons.  Thank you for the joy you bring in your father’s life.  He loves you with an intensity that is scary.  When Vic died he cried and said he cannot imagine it being you…that he hoped you would end up on the same cloud one day….

Esther and her dad
Esther and her dad

Thank you for loving Vic the way you did.  Thank you for comforting her in her hour of need.  Thank you for coaching her towards the end of her life.  Thank you for loving the boys and having compassionate conversations with them…. You know what I am talking about!

I wish you joy and happiness in the year ahead.  I love and admire you.

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I am a sixty plenty wife, mother, sister, grandmother and friend. I started blogging as a coping mechanism during my beautiful daughter's final journey. Vic was desperately ill for 10 years after a botched back operation. Vic's Journey ended on 18 January 2013 at 10:35. She was the most courageous person in the world and has inspired thousands of people all over the world. Vic's two boys are monuments of her existence. She was an amazing mother, daughter, sister and friend. I will miss you today, tomorrow and forever my Angle Child.

5 thoughts on “Esther’s Living Eulogy”

  1. Thanks for sharing this. Your family is so blessed to have you in their lives. Have a good week further.


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