An empty bottle of coffee


Vic's favorite beverage
Vic’s favorite beverage

2 months, 6 days or rather 65 days totalling 93,600 minutes or 1560 hours since Vic died…. Each minute feels like a lifetime of misery.

Every minute that passes pushes me further down into this horrible well of misery and despair.

Vic was an absolute coffee addict.  She would systematically drink her way through a 200g bottle of Jacob Kronung coffee per week. Vic drank a minimum of least 15 cups of coffee every day of her life.  Vic stopped drinking coffee just before Christmas.  It made her ill. She starting drinking Energade – naartjie flavour.  For the last month of her life it was all she drank.

Well, Vic’s last bottle of coffee is almost finished…I am dreading anyone asking for coffee…I want the coffee to last.  It is a link to my child.  How stupid does this sound??  Stupid or not it is the way I feel.  I have an unused bottle of coffee in the pantry.  I am weeping because of an almost empty bottle of coffee!

At night I lie on my sofa in my TV lounge waiting for her to either BBM or shuffle down the passage… “Could I please have some coffee Mommy?” I have cried myself into oblivion this weekend.  Danie is in Cape Town and the boys are with their Dad.  It is safe to cry.

The nights are so long without our chats.

 

 

 

16 thoughts on “An empty bottle of coffee

  1. Keep that nearly empty bottle of coffee, Tersia. xxxxxxxx I wish I could alleviate your grief. I saw someone today in the supermarket who looked so much like Vic it gave a shock – a good shock.

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  2. Reaching through cyber space to give you a comforting hug, can you feel arms around you Tersia?
    God will give you strength and Vic no longer has pain and suffering. The sorrow is here on earth for you and her sons but she is happy where she is and she is watching over all of you. God bless my friend I am praying for you to have comfort soon, it never gets easier our coping skills just get better. Love and hugs (((xx)))

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  3. My mom liked to smell my dad’s cologne. Then one day, she opened the bottle and couldn’t smell anything. The first time I forgot to remember him on the day he died, I cried for hours. He had been dead for several years by then. He’s been gone for 33 years now. I’m older than he is now. I still miss him so much. They say I look like him. I still hear his deep voice in my head. I was 16 when he died. I thought he was the only one who loved me. I was devastated. The pain does get better with time, but it resurfaces when I least expect it. Just know you are not alone. Praying for you Tersia.

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      1. Thank you Tersia, I am fighting on for those who are also suffering the same injustice. I receive email from some and wish I could do more. Yours is another kind of suffering and I wish you comfort.

        God bless.

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