An empty bottle of coffee

Vic's favorite beverage
Vic’s favorite beverage

2 months, 6 days or rather 65 days totalling 93,600 minutes or 1560 hours since Vic died…. Each minute feels like a lifetime of misery.

Every minute that passes pushes me further down into this horrible well of misery and despair.

Vic was an absolute coffee addict.  She would systematically drink her way through a 200g bottle of Jacob Kronung coffee per week. Vic drank a minimum of least 15 cups of coffee every day of her life.  Vic stopped drinking coffee just before Christmas.  It made her ill. She starting drinking Energade – naartjie flavour.  For the last month of her life it was all she drank.

Well, Vic’s last bottle of coffee is almost finished…I am dreading anyone asking for coffee…I want the coffee to last.  It is a link to my child.  How stupid does this sound??  Stupid or not it is the way I feel.  I have an unused bottle of coffee in the pantry.  I am weeping because of an almost empty bottle of coffee!

At night I lie on my sofa in my TV lounge waiting for her to either BBM or shuffle down the passage… “Could I please have some coffee Mommy?” I have cried myself into oblivion this weekend.  Danie is in Cape Town and the boys are with their Dad.  It is safe to cry.

The nights are so long without our chats.