I am the last mother…


I come from a long line of exceptional mothers.

My Mom died 15 years and 11 months ago.  She was tiny and petite.  I remember my school friends telling me that my Mom reminded them of a fairy princess.  My Mom dressed beautifully, had perfectly manicured nails and hair…. She taught us the finer things in life.

My parents
My parents

My Mom always worked…she was bright and diligent in her profession as a bookkeeper.  She was proud to be a career girl.  Mom knitted beautifully and made glorious tapestries!

The surprising thing is that we did not ever feel deprived because Mom worked.  I was proud of my mom.  As a family, we went on wonderful holidays every single year of our childhoods.  We were always the well-dressed kids on the block…We got new bicycles, and we had a beautiful home.

As a child, I thought we were rich.  Of course, I knew that many of my parent’s friends lived in seriously nice homes, but somehow I never thought those people were wealthier than we were.  Today I realize that I grew up in a middle-class home.  As a child, I felt protected and RICH!  How amazing is that?

My mother was a remarkable lady.  She brought us up to be compassionate, honest people; to never let the sun set on an argument; to love unconditionally, to protect our own… We learnt from her strength, her respect for others, her courage, faithfulness and her love for God.  Mom was around for the happy and sad times.

My mom as a young woman
My mom as a young woman

“As mothers and daughters, we are connected with one another. My mother is the bones of my spine, keeping me straight and true. She is my blood, making sure it runs rich and strong. She is the beating of my heart. I cannot now imagine a life without her.”
― Kristin HannahSummer Island  http://denacronholm.com/

My Mom died after she developed septicaemia post-operatively.  It was two agonizing weeks!  We sat next to her bed willing her to fight, get well…. To die…

When my Mom died I thought my life was over.  The grief was overwhelming.  It was my first “real” death.  My gran had passed many years ago, but that was my mom’s grief… I was young, ambitious and climbing the corporate ladder.  My life went on.  I remember my Mom crying at silly times because she was missing her mom.  I remember thinking “surely it can’t be that bad?  Old people die…”

After my mom died I read these words, A daughter without her mother is a woman broken. It is a loss that turns to arthritis and settles deep into her bones. ” ― Kristin HannahSummer Island.  My mom grieved for her mom until the day she died.

I must add that my father was an amazing gentleman.  He supported my mom on every level.  He treated her like a queen and tolerated no less from us children.  I adored my dad!  But today’s post is about my mom and motherhood.

I only understood my mom’s love for us after I gave birth to Vic.  It was an all-consuming love.  I held my tiny baby girl in my arms and knew that she needed me for every one of her needs; she could not survive without me…  My mom and I were so close after Vic’s birth.  We shared a selfless love that only mothers can understand.  As mothers, our children come first; nothing is more important than our child’s comfort, happiness and safety.

Mom, my siblings and I
Mom, my siblings and I

“Womanhood is a wonderful thing. In womankind we find the mothers of the race.  There is no man so great, nor none sunk so low, but once he lay a helpless, innocent babe in a woman’s arms and was dependent on her love and care for his existence. It is woman who rocks the cradle of the world and holds the first affections of mankind. She possesses a power beyond that of a king on his throne.
…Womanhood stands for all that is pure and clean and noble. She who does not make the world better for having lived in it has failed to be all that a woman should be.”
― Mabel HaleBeautiful Girlhood: A Timeless Guide for Christian Adolescence

I know there are mothers out there that really suck…  I know because I have been told by friends that they were never protected or defended by their moms.  I am so sad for people who do not have a good relationship with their mothers.  I was blessed with an amazing mother and that enabled me to be a good mother to my child.  My child was an amazing mother to her sons.  She loved her boys with every fibre in her body.  She suffered excruciating pain and indignity to stay alive… Vic could have given up much earlier in her life.  She fought to live right until the end…why???  It is easy – to bring up her beloved boys herself!

Vic reading to her boys
Vic reading to her boys

I am so proud of the mother Vic was.  She packed a lifetime of parenting into the little time that she had with her boys.  Jon-Daniel’s (14 years) BBM message this morning read “I really do miss you Mommy.  I miss the laughs we had and the time we spent together, and I miss talking to you.  Love you Mommy.”

A moment in the sun in the Hospital courtyard
A moment in the sun in the Hospital courtyard

The boys are level-headed, clean-living boys.  They have taken their mother’s words to heart “I am your mother not your excuse”.  Academically they are doing well.  Emotionally they are coping.  They are beautiful boys and truly do Vic’s memory honour.

I am the last mother alive…there will be no next generation mother to carry forward this miracle of motherhood.  The boys may become fathers, but I am the last of a long line of great mothers.

I will think of it on Sunday when millions celebrate Mother’s Day all over the world.

 

 

 

 

26 thoughts on “I am the last mother…

  1. “I am your mother and not your excuse.” Beautiful. And you’re always sending me hugs, so let me send some back. I know we’ll be thinking of each other on Sunday.

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  2. Wow. I never thought about being the last mother in my generation. We always focus so much on the father carrying on the family name. I’m the last mother in my immediate family as well. I do have three nieces, but it isn’t quite the same. Something to think about.

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  3. Fascinating post Tersia… the line of mothers I came from seemed to have been duds! and I was very intrigued by the quote the the loss of a mother gives you arthritis. my mother wasn’t there even before she disappeared when i was six, and I have painful arthritis!
    Though so do many other people!
    When I see mothers and daughters now, I realise that thing that I really missed, was that no-one enjoyed me, or loved the fact that I existed! My father didn’t..
    Ah well, next life-time !!!
    That was an amazing statement of Vic’s I am your mother, not your excuse! I hope Mother;s Day is not too hard for the boys…

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    1. Oh Valerie how terribly sad. Every child deserves a happy childhood. I have read a fascinating book “Journey of Souls” and yes – as you say – in your next life time…You have had the privilege of being a mother! It is sad that you feel no-one enjoyed you…well my friend you have hundreds of fans all over the world who are grateful for your existence and enjoy, no love, your existence and LOVE your magical words. I am one of your biggest fans!

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      1. Tersia, what a wonderful loving message from you… it made me feel warm inside…
        Thank you so much for your generous beautiful words… I treasure them, Valerie

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      2. Tersia
        I’m not sure whether I pressed the right button when I replied to this beautiful message from you,. and I’d hate you to think I didn’t appreciate it.
        I f you already have a reply, just press the delete..
        I have read your loving words so many times, they are such a gift, and I can’t thank you enough them.
        The friendship and love we receive from blogging is an amazing new age development, and I think it must have a great Purpose. Thank you for your contributions to our wonderful blogging world, it’s so special. And lovely how we get to know and love each other…

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  4. What a lovely post and so touching. You are right about those moments shared with our moms after we became moms… there is nothing to describe it.
    My girlfriends and I commiserate about Mother’s Day…we never thought it would be a sad day…. I know this one will be difficult for you beyond words. ♥

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  5. You have a wonderful family legacy. Sunday is a special day for Mother’s and you are fitting for that special day. I am thinking of you today and hope you are enjoying your family.
    God bless.

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  6. what a beautifully written piece of life you shared again. Luckily I had a wonderful mother, (my father not so much) and she is still with us, I spend as much time as I can with her. She is from 1942, so I guess will be 75 this year. My sadness is not having had a child myself. I have 2 sisters and one brother. Each of my siblings have a partner, the other parent to each of their children. All three have a koningskoppel (a girl and a boy). So I have them to love too.. Journey of Souls took me on my spiritual journey that is still unfolding.
    Thanks again Tersia. x

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