The whimper

I am in such a bad place.  I have been trying to write a post for 4 days.  Words elude me.

Very dear friends of ours lost their son and two granddaughters on Thursday.   It is a family murder/suicide and my heart is breaking for the family.  Our friend, the father of the son who committed suicide (and murder) phoned on Wednesday night to hear how I was coping with Vic’s 6 month anniversary… On Thursday – on Vic’s 6 month anniversary I sympathised with him and his wife on their devastating loss….

I am in shock (as is the entire community) and heartbroken for our friends, his parents and the grandparents of the two beautiful girls.  I fear for the mother of the girls.  Her life is out of danger, but I cannot imagine her pain or imagine her recovery and healing…

I have been thinking about how different our grief is but I will write later.  Now I have to cry.

Reposted from                                                   There is a sound that somehow I had forgotten.  I don’t know how I forgot it because it is a sound that I am all too familiar with.  It is the sound of a broken heart.  It is the sound of the leveling of the soul.  It is the sound of exhaustion.  It is the sound of anguish.  It is the noise made after there are no more tears.  Losing a child is not loud, forceful and superficial.  It is quiet, deep and profound.  It is the saddest sound of all.  It is the whimper of a mother who has lost a part of her very being, her child.


Published by


I am a sixty something wife,mother, sister, grandmother and friend. I started blogging as a coping mechanism during my beautiful daughter's final journey. Vic was desperately ill for 10 years after a botched back operation. Vic's Journey ended on 18 January 2013 at 10:35. She was the most courageous person in the world and has inspired thousands of people all over the world. Vic's two boys are monuments of her existence. She was an amazing mother, daughter, sister and friend. I will miss you today, tomorrow and forever my Angle Child.

43 thoughts on “The whimper”

  1. Can’t find anything to write except know that I am holding your hand. So sorry, Tersia. I know well that feeling of discouragement. Life is dark and gray right now. Hang in there.


  2. Ohhh Tersia, that is awful, kids.. x
    My friends Daughter died late last night. How much hurt do we have to see?
    I am so sorry to hear this and as always Tersia, if you need to chat, just type, Skype is open ok..
    I am here, and you are in my thought.. The mother, my God I can’t imagine.


      1. I hope you are keeping ok Tersia..x

        My friend has good support. He will be ok..x
        Shaun x


  3. Sending good thoughts and prayers your way. I’m sorry you are going through such a difficult time. I can’t imagine how much pain their family is going through.


  4. “The saddest sound of all.” There are no words, Tersia; thinking of you, and wishing you some sort of peace…


  5. You are an astonishing woman. Deep in grief, yet you share of yourself with another family also in grief. God love you my dear and take care of yourself. Sending a prayer your way.


      1. I am a Facebook chat away, I know I say this often.
        If you need a chat, just drop me a “Hi” x


  6. I can’t even imagine what this family must be going through, I’m so sorry for their loss and for what you are experiencing as well. These anniversaries are so painful, and can take us to such depths…sending blessings to you.


  7. I’m so very, very sorry also……We have a hard enough time to go through our own losses. But to hear and know of someone that can take lives, and those of children is just so devastating. It is a completely different mind set than we could wrap around. I know there are no words, but my prayers and thoughts of comfort for you. I send you out reached arms of comfort.


  8. This is so frightening, and I am deeply sorry. It is absolutely true I nearly killed Daniel and myself when he was infant as I believed it was the only way to protect him from abuse. I almost did it.

    Whatever drove him to do it… I don’t know, but it is horrific, and I see it clearly now. I am so sorry.


      1. Thanks, Tersia. Grief with despair and lack of support even worse!

        Yet people do it. It happens. This chills me.


  9. Your love and compassion for others in the midst of your own devastating grief amazes me. You are such an incredible person. I’m so sorry for all of the pain in every direction, I can’t even begin to imagine that scale of loss, it’s awful.
    Hugs to you all.


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s