8 months


243 days without my child.  8 months of mourning, weeping, sadness…  

Of course I appear to be “carrying on with my life”.  Why not?  The world demands it of me.  When I cry I confuse the world.  It has already been 8 months…I should be over my child death.

“Life goes on”…

Does it?  No!! Existing, breathing goes on… We live with this dreadful void in our lives.

Just think of it.  When you miss your child you pick up a phone, you Skype, get onto an aircraft or into a car and go visit.  You can hug and hold your child.  I have a box of crushed ashes.

So until you have walked in my moccasins – please don’t expect of me to “get on with it.”  I am doing the best I can.  Live your life, I will grieve the loss of mine.

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I miss you so much my Angel Child.  I missed you yesterday, I am missing you today, I WILL miss you tomorrow and every living second of my life.

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Al my love, yesterday, today, tomorrow – forever.

Mommy

9 thoughts on “8 months

  1. i don’t know who would be so heartless as to think you could just get on with life. your life is changed forever, just as it was by her birth. your grief will change in the years to come but it will never stop being grief. i for one support you for who you are and where you are in this process. it would be unwise to pretend you are at peace with vic’s passing. big warm hugs and love to you from me

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    1. Thank you my friend. People cannot and will not understand until they are in the same situation as I am in. I would however not wish that on my worse enemy. Hope you are feeling a bit stronger!!! Much love.

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  2. I can’t imagine the pain you live with daily. Just know I read your words and listen with love and deep sympathy even when I don’t say anything. I pray for your peace and strength to persevere. ❤

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  3. I think it’s easy for the world to assume that time heals all and that it’s the same for everyone and every grief. How wrong that assumption is. I know you’re not okay, and I hope you know that you’re always in my heart and thoughts. I wish I could give you back your Vic and the boys back their mom, only without all of the pain and suffering. How cruel life can be to those who don’t deserve it.

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