Always the lady


Exactly one year ago Vic had a Brazilian Blow-dry. This is what I posted then…

Today I took Vic to the hairdresser and she had a Brazilian blow-dry treatment.  Now, for those of you who are as ignorant as I was, this is a “hair straightening” process.  Four hours!!

Shame Vic was sleeping in the chair…poor baby!  She is exhausted but it will make her life so much easier for many months ahead.  Vic will not wash and leave her hair – it has to be sleek…Now with this Brazilian blow-dry thing we can wash her hair and leave it!  Bliss!!

I never saw my late Mom not immaculately dressed with her hair beautifully done.  No matter how ill she was, Mom went to the hairdresser three times a week.  Her nails were always immaculate and Mom would get very annoyed with me if I wasn’t wearing make-up and had my hair in a ponytail.  “Always the lady” was her motto.  As it is Vic’s.  I find it absolutely amazing that she insists on getting dressed most days.  Well, certainly before the boys get home from school.  She does not want the boys to see her in pyjamas. When we wash her hair it must be blow dried…She will not scrunch it or put it up in a ponytail, plait or pin…Vic’s hair has to be sleek…No matter how ill she is.

Her little body is so swollen from the cortisone.  Her face looks like a little chipmunk’s!  It happens from time to time.  What is worrying is that Vic’s blood pressure is steadily increasing.  Addison’s symptoms include low blood pressure…so why is Vic all of a sudden developing high blood pressure?  And Madam will not see a doctor!  What to do?

Vic does look so beautiful after her hairdressing marathon.  She is passed out and I know it will take her a week to recover from this outing.  But, it is well worth it!

These are the words Jared wrote for Vic’s funeral letter….

Dear Mommy…

Words could never explain what you mean to me…

It always meant so much to me that no matter how bad you felt or how sick you were, you always went out of your way to do anything and everything you could for us… Always going out of your way to make everyone’s life easier especially mine…

You were always my hero… No matter how sick you were every morning you woke up and got dressed. Even if you didn’t do anything you always looked your best…

I love you so much mommy… You made such an impact on everyone’s life that you will never be forgotten…you will forever live in our memories as the bravest woman and best Mommy of all time…

No one will ever be able to replace you…


Jared

Jared and his Mommy 1.1.2013

Always the lady…

“Worrying doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”


“Worrying is carrying tomorrow’s load with today’s strength carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” ~ Corrie Ten Boom – I read this on Dr Bill Wooten’s blog http://drbillwooten.com/2012/11/17/todays-strength/

This is so true.  I have been so worried about Vic’s latest symptoms   The body is such a complex intertwined mechanism…. I am absolutely fascinated at how everything links in… I just have to discover the function of the appendix and it’s interwoven functions…

Vic is having a lousy day.  She is exhausted and very swollen.  Despite the injections she has been nauseous all day.  This evening she had another vomiting bout.  Tomorrow we will see Dr Sue again.  Just maybe there is a 3rd anti-nausea type injection available

Vic also complained of a terrible “acidic” feeling.

I Googled her symptoms and found something that matches her new symptoms and blood test results.

 Metabolic acidosis

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In medicine, metabolic acidosis is a condition that occurs when the body produces too much acid or when the kidneys are not removing enough acid from the body. If unchecked, metabolic acidosis leads to acidemia, i.e., blood pH is low (less than 7.35) due to increased production of hydrogen by the body or the inability of the body to form bicarbonate (HCO3) in the kidney. Its causes are diverse, and its consequences can be serious, including coma and death. Together with respiratory acidosis, it is one of the two general causes of acidemia.

Other causes of metabolic acidosis include:

 Dr Sue said that Vic’s sodium levels are very low.  So I Googled “Low sodium Levels”

Abnormal sodium levels can be due to many different conditions.

A lower than normal sodium level is called hyponatremia. This may be due to:

  •  Addison’s disease – CHECK
  • Dehydration, vomiting, diarrhea  – CHECK
  • An increase in total body water seen in those with heart failure, certain kidney diseases, or cirrhosis of the liver – CHECK
  • Ketonuria – NEGATIVE
  • SIADH – POSSIBLE
  • Too much of the hormone vasopressin – VERY POSSIBLE
  • Use of medications such as diuretics (water pills), morphine, and SSRI antidepressantsCHECK

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001397/

This truly scares me.

Earlier tonight Vic and I chatted over a cup of tea and I said to her “Baby, I am a little worried about what is happening in your little body”

“Do you think I am in trouble Mommy?  Please be honest!” she pleaded.

*Sweetie, I think you are in more trouble than you realize” I answered

“Mommy I can feel it in my body.  I am just so tired.”

“Sweetie, if Dr Sue says you must go onto oxygen tomorrow you MUST”

“I don’t think so Mommy.” Vic replied

“You have to make it to Christmas Baby…”

“Do you think it is that close Mommy?” Vic asked

“It could be Vic….” I answered

“Do you think we will get to Italy?” Vic asked.

“We will go in January” I promised

“I will stay in bed and rest for a whole month if it enables me to go to Italy….” Vic promised

I have increased Vic’s Addison’s medication.  Prevention is better than cure and Italy awaits!

 

 

 

 

September and awareness of pain


 

The month of September is dedicated to help bring awareness to a very much misunderstood disease, Chronic Pain (C/P). In the USA, Chronic Pain has finally been inducted by the American Medical Association as a disease, with its own diagnostic code even though it encompasses multiple over-lapping conditions and diseases.

As a mother of a terminally ill child, who suffers debilitating chronic pain, I have researched pain extensively.  I have argue
d with physicians and meet with pain specialists at the pain clinic every month.  I have bullied hospital nursing staff.  I have witnessed and lived my child screaming like a wounded animal from pain….. Doctors telling her that she is a morphine addict and pharmacists double-checking and verifying Vic’s scripts…

Yet the levels of Vic’s pain force us to eat humble pie.  We have to go back time after time asking and even begging for pain medication.

Tracy at http://ohwhatapain.wordpress.com/ is a passionate advocate bringing awareness about this chronic illness, and this month she has a special project. Please visit Tracy’s blog. Even if you are not directly involved chances are there is someone in your life that is.  I have a headache (maybe) once a year.  I never have a tummy ache, earache, toe-ache or any ache as a matter of fact.  Yet I am a specialist on the subject of pain…  I will therefore participate as a caregiver of someone who suffers debilitating chronic pain…..

So from Tracy’s Blog this month and all month-long;

 Please answer the following questions:

  1. What condition(s) do you have that have led you to living with chronic pain?

Vic has a frozen abdomen, Osteogenesis Imperfecta, Addisons Disease and severe Endometriosis.

  • Frozen abdomen,” is a condition  in which repeat surgeries to remove the fibrous bands create so much internal scar tissue that further surgical intervention becomes dangerous. Inflammatory conditions like appendicitis, internal infections and abdominal surgeries can cause the abdominal tissues to bind together, forming scars.  Adhesion formation in the abdominal or pelvic cavity can cause debilitating pain, nausea, vomiting, cramping. Patients with intestinal obstruction may experience constipation, diarrhea or a combination of both. In severe cases, adhesions can cause intestinal obstruction, bowel strangulation, complications with childbirth and infertility.
  • Osteogenesis Imperfecta (OI) is a genetic bone disorder characterized by fragile bones that break easily. It is also known as “brittle bone disease.” The term literally means “bone that is imperfectly made from the beginning of life.” A person is born with this disorder and is affected throughout his or her lifetime. http://www.oif.org

The condition arises from problems with the adrenal gland itself, a state referred to as “primary adrenal insufficiency”, and can be caused by damage by the body’s own immune system, certain infections or various rarer causes. Addison’s disease is also known as chronic primary adrenocortical insufficiency, to distinguish it from acute primary adrenocortical insufficiency, most often caused by Waterhouse-Friderichsen syndrome. Addison’s disease should also be distinguished from secondary and tertiary adrenal insufficiency, which are caused by deficiency of ACTH (produced by the pituitary gland) and CRH (produced by the hypothalamus), respectively. Despite this distinction, Addisonian crises can happen in all forms of adrenal insufficiency.

  • Endometriosis A major symptom of endometriosis is recurring pelvic pain. The pain can be mild           to severe cramping that occurs on both sides of the pelvis, in the lower back and rectal area, and   even down the legs. The amount of pain a woman feels correlates poorly with the extent or stage      (1 through 4) of endometriosis, with some women having little or no pain despite having extensive            endometriosis or endometriosis with scarring, while other women may have severe pain even           though they have only a few small areas of endometriosis. Throbbing, gnawing, and dragging pain             to the legs are reported more commonly by women with endometriosis.[4] Compared with women with superficial endometriosis, those with deep disease appear to be more likely to report shooting        rectal pain and a sense of their insides being pulled down.[citation needed] Individual pain areas and     pain intensity appears to be unrelated to the surgical diagnosis, and the area of pain unrelated to area of endometriosis.[citation needed]

Endometriosis lesions react to hormonal stimulation and may “bleed” at the time of menstruation. The blood accumulates locally, causes swelling, and triggers inflammatory responses with the activation of cytokines. This process may cause pain. Pain can also occur from adhesions (internal scar tissue) binding internal organs to each other, causing organ dislocation. Fallopian tubes, ovaries, the uterus, the bowels, and the bladder can be bound together in ways that are painful on a daily basis, not just during menstrual periods.[citation needed]

Also, endometriotic lesions can develop their own nerve supply, thereby creating a direct and two-way interaction between lesions and the central nervous system, potentially producing a variety of individual differences in pain that can, in some women, become independent of the disease itself.[2] http:

 2. What do you want others to know about what it’s like to live with chronic pain? (i.e.- what is it no one is saying about life with chronic pain? )

Vic has lost her spontaneity.  She has to plan every single outing well in advance whether it is a trip to the hairdresser or the doctor, watching Jon-Daniel play cricket or having a cup of coffee with a friend.  Vic has lost her ability to live.  She merely breathes.

3. Which philosophy do you ascribe to:  Keep hoping that the pain will get better or learn to adapt to life with chronic pain?

Both.

4. What do you miss the most that you feel you gave up because of chronic pain?  What do you do now to fill that void?

Playing with her boys…. Vic was never able to play ball or “touches” with the boys.  Vic spent a lot of time reading to the boys when they were younger.  Now her health and pain is at levels that prohibits any compensatory actions.

 5. What have you heard from others that made you feel better? 

“It is okay to give up….”

 6. Do you feel that people view/treat you differently? How?

People get tired of hanging around people who are always ill and in pain.  They avoid Vic.  The average person does not know how to handle her raw pain and they are scared that pain or “bad luck” is contagious.  Vicky is viewed as someone who is past her “sell by” date.

 7. What coping mechanisms have you tried that worked for you?  Which ones did not work for you? (Traditional and Non-traditional)

Vic used breathing techniques earlier in the diseases timeline.  Now it is too painful.  When Vic has a good day she will do something extravagant like pick the boys up from school and take them for a milkshake.  It allows her for a brief moment to believe that her life is normal.  It is a form of a coping mechanism.  Living the moment and pretending that her life is “normal”

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