Tag: Blood pressure

Always the lady


Exactly one year ago Vic had a Brazilian Blow-dry. This is what I posted then…

Today I took Vic to the hairdresser and she had a Brazilian blow-dry treatment.  Now, for those of you who are as ignorant as I was, this is a “hair straightening” process.  Four hours!!

Shame Vic was sleeping in the chair…poor baby!  She is exhausted but it will make her life so much easier for many months ahead.  Vic will not wash and leave her hair – it has to be sleek…Now with this Brazilian blow-dry thing we can wash her hair and leave it!  Bliss!!

I never saw my late Mom not immaculately dressed with her hair beautifully done.  No matter how ill she was, Mom went to the hairdresser three times a week.  Her nails were always immaculate and Mom would get very annoyed with me if I wasn’t wearing make-up and had my hair in a ponytail.  “Always the lady” was her motto.  As it is Vic’s.  I find it absolutely amazing that she insists on getting dressed most days.  Well, certainly before the boys get home from school.  She does not want the boys to see her in pyjamas. When we wash her hair it must be blow dried…She will not scrunch it or put it up in a ponytail, plait or pin…Vic’s hair has to be sleek…No matter how ill she is.

Her little body is so swollen from the cortisone.  Her face looks like a little chipmunk’s!  It happens from time to time.  What is worrying is that Vic’s blood pressure is steadily increasing.  Addison’s symptoms include low blood pressure…so why is Vic all of a sudden developing high blood pressure?  And Madam will not see a doctor!  What to do?

Vic does look so beautiful after her hairdressing marathon.  She is passed out and I know it will take her a week to recover from this outing.  But, it is well worth it!

These are the words Jared wrote for Vic’s funeral letter….

Dear Mommy…

Words could never explain what you mean to me…

It always meant so much to me that no matter how bad you felt or how sick you were, you always went out of your way to do anything and everything you could for us… Always going out of your way to make everyone’s life easier especially mine…

You were always my hero… No matter how sick you were every morning you woke up and got dressed. Even if you didn’t do anything you always looked your best…

I love you so much mommy… You made such an impact on everyone’s life that you will never be forgotten…you will forever live in our memories as the bravest woman and best Mommy of all time…

No one will ever be able to replace you…


Jared

Jared and his Mommy 1.1.2013

Always the lady…

“It is close”…


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Tuesday 22.1.2013 – Tonight is the first night in a long time that I lay on my sofa, in my own TV lounge, watching Law & Order.  I kept listening for the sound of Vic’s little feet shuffling down the passage…It is the first time since Vic’s death that I truly experienced the “emptiness” of the house.

The house has been so busy.  In the days preceding Vic’s death the boys went to stay with friends and family.  Vic’s suffering was too horrible for them to witness.  I did not want them to remember life ebbing out of her.  On the 15th my brother arrived from the coast and my sister from a neighbouring city.  I was in such a dazed stupor that I don’t remember them arriving.  I fell asleep next to Vic with my head next to hers, and my hand on her heart whilst the minister was saying a prayer….

On Wednesday the 16th Leeann started staying with me.  Danie, my brother, Lee-Ann and I took turns on Thursday night staying awake with Vic.  The time still passed in an absolute maze of unreality.  I knew on the 16th that Vic would die by the weekend.

Vic was still able to communicate with her eyes. She blinked when I asked her a question and her answer were “yes”.

Thursday Dr Sue came to see Vic.

“It is close” Sue said.

Murky red urine dripped into the catheter bag….  Vic’s eyes no longer closed completely… Her eyes had “broken”… she was gasping for breath.

“We must increase the Buscopan” Sue said.

“I think I have heard a rattling sound once or twice” I said

“Yes” Sue said.  “I can hear it clearly through the stethoscope”

Sue increased the pain medication as well as the sedation.

We decided to let the boys come and say their goodbyes…  Someone, I am not sure who, went and fetched the boys from school.  The boys walked into their Mom’s room.  Their eyes wide and sad.  They lay with her and whispered soft words into her ears.  They softly kissed her and walked away.  It must of been the hardest thing they had ever done.

I send Danie out to go find me a new blood pressure measure that fits around the wrist and would not hurt her little arms every time I took her blood pressure.  (Sue had one…)  I became almost obsessive in trying to ascertain where she was in her journey.  Vic was very unstable – within minutes her blood pressure went from 150/123 to LO (too low to measure) on the machine.  Her pulse was racing at 160 beats a minute.

I lay next to her with my hand on her heart.  Her little heart was pounding against the palm of my hand.  Vic was fighting with every fibre in her body to stay alive.  I looked at my child and thought “If I have her admitted to the Donald Gordon ICU they may be able to save her…” but then I realized that it was futile.  Vic was slipping away and nobody could do anything in the world to change that. Vic was dying and I was helpless.  I could not save my child.