“Amare et fovere” to love and cherish…


I have never consciously given thought to the difference between the words “love” and “cherish.”

Today I did.

The definition of love is as follows:

An intense feeling of deep affection: “their love for their country”.
Feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone): “do you love me?”.
noun. affection – fondness – darling – passion
verb. like – be fond of – fancy – adore

The definition of cher•ish is as follows:
Protect and care for (someone) lovingly: “he cherished me in his heart”.
Hold (something) dear.

nurse – nourish – foster

The Latin phrase for Cherish is Alo (alui Altum), Alo (alui Altum) is defined as: nourish, cherish, support, sustain, maintain, keep.

To cherish someone means to treat them with affection and tenderness, to hold them dear – close to our hearts. To me “cherish” implies gentleness, tenderness, respect and friendship; purity of emotion….

We feel cherished when we feel precious….Feelings of being cherished takes me back to my childhood. When my parents loved me unconditionally and I was ensconced in this amazing feeling of being treasured, protected, cared for….safe. 

We all crave to be cherished by our friends, family and loved ones. When we are cherished we have a warm, “safe” feeling within the relationship.

It explained to me why I felt safe in some friendships… There are relationships where I feel loved and then there are relationships where I feel cherished. I am tough. A friend once said I was as strong as the rock of Gibraltar. Little did he know how vulnerable I was at that stage of my life….
I suppose we feel loved by the ones who do not necessarily look out for us and protect us and cherished by those who go the extra mile and have our backs.

Love is easy. We love family because we are bound by blood, DNA of the heart, memories, intellectual and physical attraction. We love our car, our homes, our pets… We cherish our children, some friends, our memories…

Yet there are many people who will not allow others to cherish them —for example, someone who exhausts herself helping others, but when she needs help herself quickly says, “No thank you, I’m fine.”

The irony is that often these people experience a kind of elemental disbelief when they feel uncherished and think someone has let them down. “Oh no! It can’t be! Why am I not loved?” A sense of loss, a basic anxiety, grips them. 

I know that I will move the world for my loved ones. Yet I find it hard to allow people close enough to me, to “cherish” me…I am a do-er. I get embarrassed when people “do” things for me…

I recall once Lani wanted to give me a hand massage…I was too embarrassed to allow it…. I stayed busy to avoid the intimacy of being cherished by someone I love dearly…

There is a difference between cherish and love.  I find it hard to allow people to cherish me because that means I have to trust them with my heart and soul.  Love is less intimidating…

I am grateful that I am able to love and cherish.  I am grateful that people have patiently hacked away at my defences and love and cherish me…

Today I miss my precious child whom I love and cherish and who loved and cherished me….