Dying is a lonely journey. Not only for the sick person but also for the family. As hard as we may try to avoid death, the truth is that we do a lousy job of it. Science and medicine will certainly postpone it, even staying healthy might seem to delay it, but the harsh reality is that death does not wait for you, it does not ask you, and it does not listen to you. Death ignores your feelings and wants; you do not matter to death…Death is the only certainty in life! We need to remember that our existence here is fragile, and we never have as much time with people as we think we do. If there is someone or someones out there that you love, don’t neglect that and don’t put off engaging with them because waits for no-one… Vic's Journey ended on 18 January 2013 at 10:35. She was the most courageous person in the world and has inspired thousands of people all over the world. Vic's two boys are monuments of her existence. She was an amazing mother, daughter, sister and friend. I will miss you today, tomorrow and forever my Angle Child.
Tonight, there are two mothers in South Africa who is in more pain than I am. One mother is the mother of a beautiful young model, a law school graduate and an entrepreneur committed to empowering women. Reeva Steenkamp was a celebrity in her own right. Reeva was one of FHM magazine‘s 100 Sexiest Women in the World for two years running, appeared in international and South African advertisements and was a celebrity contestant on Tropika Island of Treasure filmed in Jamaica. She was also the South African face of Avon cosmetics.
The second mother is the mother of Oscar Pistorius. Pistorius made history when he became the first amputee to win a silver medal at the World Athletics Championships in 2011. The following season he secured two more silver medals, in the men’s individual one-lap sprint and the relay event, at the African Athletics Championships in Benin. Pistorius again wrote himself into the history books when he became the first amputee to compete on the track at the able-bodied Olympic Games in August 2012. Pistorius reached the semifinals in the individual 400m event, and also competed in the relay final, with South Africa given a free pass after they were obstructed by the Kenyan team in the heats. A six-time Paralympic Games gold medallist, the Blade Runner holds the men’s 100m, 200m and 400m world records in the T44 disability class.
At this stage it is unclear whether Reeva snuck into Oscar’s home in the early hours of the morning to surprise him on Valentines Day and was mistaken for a burglar or whether she was cold bloodedly shot by her lover.
Oscar, South Africa’s golden son, is in prison tonight. Reeva, one of South Africa’s golden daughters, is lying on a cold slab in a mortuary.
In at least two homes mothers are grieving their children.
Whose loss is the greatest? The mother whose 29-year-old daughter is dead or the mother of the shooter who happens to also be one of the most determined and talented athletes in the world?
I do know I would not change places with either one of them at all! I know my child suffered long and hard and her remains rest in a little wooden box…but her death was honorable, peaceful and “dignified”. Her character will not be assassinated in the press or in a court of law… I do not have to worry whether she will spend the rest of her life in prison, whether she will go to bed with a full tummy, safe from other killers and rapists.
Tonight I will pray for the two mommy’s who both lost their children today.
Yesterday we did not see the GP for Vic’s arm – she was just too exhausted to get out of bed.
We arrived at the Urologist at 14:30 and low and behold he is at another practice in a different suburb. The receptionist gets such a big fright because of the size of Jared’s kidney stones that within minutes she is busy arranging theatres for emergency surgery! Eventually I got her to HEAR what I was saying – the kidney stones are not obstructing the urinary tract! A new appointment is scheduled for Jared to see the Urologist on Monday.
We arrive home and the doggie parlor people had not picked up JD for her final pampering session. Anyway she had a better night the previous night and all of a sudden I am doubting my decision about sending her to Doggy Heaven. Maybe this is a sign that it is not her time!
With minutes to spare, just before I add garlic to dinner, my wonderful, caring friend Gillian arrives. (Gill is allergic to garlic and 1000 other things…) Out of the blue with armloads of gifts… A lavender plant and lavender hand cremes for me (to calm me down), rusks for Danie, chocolates for the boys and waterless Magnolia hand sanitizer and linen stray for Vic! How precious is my friend? She read my blog in the morning and decided that I need moral support!
So, egg on my blog face… JD is still walking around, Jared is in high spirits because he is not in theatre and after such a bad start Vic is having a good afternoon. (The Jurnista is working so well!!!)
I was so happy to see my friend!!
Gill and I, over a cup of tea, are sitting discussing Jared’s situation when she asked “Who is his Urologist?” I told her that it is Dr S; he is new in Alberton so we were able to get an appointment quickly… Gillian went white! In her clipped manner of speech she declared “Over my dead body! Do you know what he did to Sandra, (her sister-in-law)? He left the plug in her when he did her bladder repair 6 weeks ago! Sandra nearly died!” Gill then proceeds to tell me that at Sandra’s book club meeting the girls were discussing Sandra’s operation. Naturally the girls wanted to know who the surgeon was and guess who? Yes, Dr S… That apparently triggered two more of the ladies relating their stories of severe sepsis, after urology surgery, to their husbands and the urologist was…. Wait for it….. Dr S!!!!!
There is a God! Imagine if Jared went into theatre yesterday and he was Case No 4 GONE WRONG???
I had just started writing this posting today when the phone rang and guess what? Dr Y’s receptionist was on the line. Dr wants to see Vic… With the speed of lightning I dressed Vic in a tracksuit and sped off to the Doctor’s rooms. The receptionist nearly fainted when she saw Vic’s hand… After a couple of minutes she said if we had not lived close to the consulting rooms she would have told us to come in on Tuesday next week… she did not feel like working late and yesterday she cut down on the number of consults he was doing because she had stuff to do…! Obviously her conscience got the better of her and she told him Vic had phoned. He told her to get hold of Vic to see him today still…
The doctor was shocked when he saw how swollen Vicky’s hand is. He took the cast off and the arm is extremely bruised and very, very sore. We had a long discussion and the decision was made that there is no alternative but to operate. Vic will check into the hospital at 08:00 tomorrow morning and he will operate at 10:00.
I am very concerned about the danger of sepsis. Obviously Vic will go onto strong antibiotics but she already takes antibiotics every day of her life. As a matter of fact she takes antibiotics twice a day, every day of her life. She already has sepsis in the spine and abdomen. I do however realize that there is no other option but to do the arthroplasty surgery.
I am however concerned that a silly little girl can decide how many patients a doctor can see a day not because of his time constraints but her nail appointment at the beauty parlor… I am very concerned that a receptionist can play God and could cost my child her arm. Yesterday it would have been a standard surgery but now it is emergency surgery that has to be performed on a Saturday morning. What a country we live in!
What on earth can make a doctor appoint such an airhead in his practice? We end up with a silly young woman who do not realize the importance of being able to distinguish between a patient needing to see a doctor urgently and her +*%&% nail appointment!
I have tried to Google “humerus + sepsis” but the articles I found were just too complicated for me to understand. So, in faith, I will accompany Vic to hospital and try to get her through the post-op pain and onto the road to recovery. I can only hope that she will not lose too much functionality
I am watching the opening of the 2012 Olympics and am filled with deep sadness for Vic and other people in similar situations to Vic’s. Somebody else’s sons and daughters, the perfect athletes, competing for the top sports awards of the world…. Dreams will be realized or shattered. There will be tears of joy and tears of heartbreak…
Vic has never been able or allowed to do any sport. People of her age are still climbing the ladder to success. Vic has never really worked or climbed the corporate ladder. Vic’s life is over without it ever really started. Vic literally only knows tears of pain and suffering. However if there was an Olympics for pain, suffering and endurance, my child would take gold!!
Vicky Bruce, Champion of Champion in the Pain and Suffering Race! All time winner of Survivor OI.