It was with fear and trepidation that I gave Vic her medication last night. Esther, (Vic’s big sister and a pharmacist) asked me whether the Jurnista replaced the morphine and was just a little surprised that it was in addition to the Morphine, Neurontin, Degrenol and Stilpayne. My research really scared me yet strangely I was at peace.
By 24:00 Vic felt no difference and her pain was at a solid 9. By 02:00 her pain was a little easier. Vic had a fairly good night. But she is having a very good day!!! The Jurnista appears to be working! Vic rested well this morning and went out for coffee with Tracey! How absolutely amazing is that!
Last Sunday, Frik, a Christian colleague phoned me after church and asked me to give Vic a message. “Please tell Vicky that God wants me to tell her that He loves her”… She was too ill and I only told her on Tuesday. I missed the Tuesday Pain Clinic appointment… On Thursday the Pain Clinic doctor is a wonderful, compassionate, young Muslim man who showed mercy and compassion …
My faith has often wavered over the past ten years. Not in God but in a God of Mercy. The actions of the church, Christians, doctors, nursing staff, radiologists, Hospice, family and friends, mostly reflected a cold, loveless society that does not begin to understand what compassion means
When we first received Vic’s death sentence there was an absolute outpouring of love. But I suppose she did not die soon enough and people slowly and discreetly disappeared out of our lives. My blog is three months old and most of you too may get tired of the waiting game and stop reading it and disappear into cyberspace. Well, this time you cannot hurt us because you are faceless.
I am digressing. This week we were reminded that there are still angels around. A compassionate man who prays for pain relief of a young woman he has never met, a doctor who prescribes palliative care medication… The Jurnista could hasten Vic’s imminent demise but I don’t care. I would rather she spend one pain free day with her boys and family than a lifetime in the pain that she lives with.
Many people have left wonderful caring messages on my email, comments on the blog and Facebook. Thank you! It really does mean a lot to us. Vic does not read my blog neither do her boys. But Vic has truly appreciated the contact some of her old school friends have made. As I said before, dying is a lonely business!
But today we celebrate the wonderful new drug! I thank God for sending angels along our way. I thank God for His message through Frik, when I was at the lowest low in my life!! I thank God for Dr Jaffer Hussain! I thank God for your messages of encouragement and above all I thank God for Vic’s good day! Thank you, thank you, thank you God! Even if it is only one good day!