People have said “I am taking a break from your blog. It is too difficult for me to read” or “Some days I just cannot read your blog”….. Listen up people on the 20th of July 2012 I blogged “When we first received Vic’s death sentence there was an absolute outpouring of love. But I suppose she did not die soon enough and people slowly and discreetly disappeared out of our lives. My blog is three months old and most of you too may get tired of the waiting game and stop reading it and disappear into cyberspace. Well, this time you cannot hurt us because you are faceless. “https://tersiaburger.com/2012/07/20/thank-you-god-20-7-2012/
My best friend says my blog is sad and I suppose it is. The blog however mirrors my deepest feelings. It is our journey and you (the royal you) don’t have to feel you are under an obligation to read my “sad” blog.
Well today I will however try and blog some happy moments. Jon-Daniel, Vic’s youngest son, turns 14 on Friday the 12 th of October. We are busy arranging his birthday party. He wants a pool party but I don’t think the weather will co-operate! Weather predictions are 80% chance of rain on Saturday!
Vic was born on one of the coldest days of the year. I remember sitting hunched up in front of the fireplace saying “if ever I am going to have this baby it is going to be tonight!” I finished work that day and was looking forward to my maternity leave. I had weird little contractions at work but paid no attention to it. My back was killing me! But I had work to finish and the staff held a little “stork party” for me. I lost my temper with someone at work and yelled at him! I ate ice-cream in front of a heater and craved a milkshake! It was such a busy day.
My case had not been packed as Vic was only due a month later….In true Vicky form she decided “enough is enough” and I went into labor that evening! Vic is a “lingerer” and was born 27.5 hours after I went into labor.
When I was admitted my mother-in-law accompanied me. She was plumpish with a youthful face. The maternity staff thought she was being admitted…. I only gained 8 pounds (3.64 kilograms) and barely looked pregnant. I still wore all my normal clothes.
When Vic was born she was so perfect! Her father said “Oh, look she has my toes!” She was heartbreakingly beautiful with a mop of black hair!
Some facts – Vic weighed in at 2.2 kilograms. She was a mere 48 cm tall. She was tiny but so strong and perfect! She was the best “pooper” in the maternity ward. Vic was a bottle baby and her preemies clothes were too big for her.
For the first two months of her life I was too scared to bath her. My mom did. Vic walked at 17 months but had her first tooth at 3 months. She had her first fracture at 3 weeks – sucking her thumb!
Vic was diagnosed at 18 months with Osteogenesis Imperfecta. By her 4th birthday she had fractured 40 bones. Vic spoke her first words before she could sit and built basic wooden puzzles before her 1st birthday. Vic spoke Afrikaans and English fluently by the time she was 3.
At the time of diagnoses the doctors said she would not live to the age of 12. Well she certainly showed them!
Every single birthday of Vic’s we have had lousy weather! It was always the last cold before spring sets in on the 1st of September.
Vic does not have a good sense of humour. Wait, let me rephrase that – Vic cannot tell a joke! She loves a good laugh. She has a beautiful smile that reaches her eyes. Her dark brown eyes are truly the mirror to her soul. Her eyes are now either clouded from morphine or pain. Her eyes now “tear up” even when she is not crying.
Vicky is a people pleaser. She will do everything in her power to make people happy. She is also the most stubborn person the good Lord put on this earth.
Vic is a wonderful mother. She loves her sons unconditionally. Jared is her gentle giant. He helps her mobilize and makes her coffee. He will make her breakfast and lunch. He is gentle and tender with his Mom. He will carry her when she cannot walk. He protects her…. He has a brilliant analytical mind. He hates homework and studying. He under achieves at school. His room is not the tidiest in the world. He is an accomplished guitarist. Jared is generous and has an easy smile. Jared is her eldest.
Jon-Daniel is the genius (he has my brain – hahaha). He is a perfectionist and when he leaves for school his room is perfectly tidy. He immediately starts homework when he gets home. His lowest mark is for art – 78%. He is an accomplished sportsman. He only watches sport on TV and knows all the international soccer greats, tennis and cricket players. He makes Vic laugh. He fools around until she screeches with laughter. He is angry because she is ill. Even as a little boy he would cry to see Vic when she was in hospital. Once he saw her he would start acting up – insisting that we leave! He even saves airtime…. Jon-Daniel is her baby.
Vic loves her boys and her boys adore her. I wish their lives were easier. I wish I could save them the pain they live on a daily basis.
Vic's Final Journey 
ahh the old taking to long to die problem:) you are not alone in this let me assure you. there are times i have felt, as i wrote about, that people have become rather bored and feel i have taken to long to leave. please continue to write about what you need to write when you sit at the computer. there are times i write, as you do, about the good times and other times i feel like sharing the mental and physical pain. this is a safe and healthy place to share what you might not be able to share in another format. i for one will continue to read and care.
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Thank you SBCallahan as I will continue to read your blog. You truly understand what I am saying. Thank you for caring!!
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I have only been following your blog for a short while, having been led here by Barefoot Baroness. I have not commented on Vic’s situation until now because I just don’t seem to be able to find the right words. My heart aches for your pain as a mother, for Vic and her pain as a mother having to leave her beloved boys far too soon and for the boys having to witness their mother’s slow journey to the other side. Sometimes there just does not seem to be an appropriate response to one of your posts that is not a cliche. But I read them and I just wish there was an alternative to “liking” a post. One that could let you know that you had visitors who care but just not the right words to express it.
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Thank you Optie. I should not have vented but I get angry when people treat Vic as if she has already died. I understand the “like” button as I use it as well even though it is a terrible thought that one is “liking” blogs about sadness, trauma, turmoil and death. Thank you for commenting!
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I so agree wit Optie. I try and speak sometimes, but everything I say sounds hollow and presumptous. I think the people will be back, it isn’t a case of boredom. It makes me think of h ow many years ago I forced msyelf to read Martin Grey’s ‘For Those I Loved’ about the Warsaw Ghetto, but my mother said that she couldn’t bear to read it. I was in tears at the end of each chapter, but I thought I owed it to those people to share some of their pain, however minutely. Perhaps you write too well and it is so immediate.
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Thank you as always Lucinda. I feel that we have become cyber friends. I truly appreciate your visits and comments!
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Thank you for visiting my site. That’s how I learned about your site. I’m going to follow your blog now. My daughter is the same age as yours. I have a son one year older. They both suffer from chronic conditions. I wish I could take away the pain. I know you wish you could take away your daughter’s pain and guarantee everything will be OK. I have no words of wisdom or comfort that you haven’t already heard. I just wanted to say I’m listening. I care.
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Thank you for visiting and following! I enjoy your blog. I am sad for you – every child is entitled to a happy and safe childhood. So sorry to hear about your children!!
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