the weight in my bones.


Photo Credit: http://bike-pgh.org/bbpress/topic/why-isnt-there-a-bridge-pedal-pittsburgh

This beautiful poem was posted by Aarthi –  http://sickocean.wordpress.com   on 24SaturdayNov 2012.  Aarthi is an exceptional poet who often moves me to tears.  Thank you Aarthi for sharing your amazing talent with us.  I encourage everyone to visit Aarthi’s blog.  It is filled with so much raw emotion.  

The Weight In My Bones

like bridges made
of concrete ropes

ripping through my existence
keeping me earthly bound

so sturdy yet unchangeable a part
i am all heavy with matter contained

i try and bend yet
the break never happens

like a deeper strength holding me
pain prevents a shattering noise

the water in me weighs more
than what gives me a shape

this will is fragile
and a regret pulls me down

purposes unsolved
promises broken

a thousand images shattered
everything that i never said

all remains in unwalked places
the pores in my soul

each window was blocked
in persistent steps, in days and years and decades

leaving all weight like
ashes of a past trapped

so diseased i feel at times
lifeless like a fallen twig

and the feeling weighs me deep
deeper than skin and all the soft human matter

i feel it in my bones
like i am bond to a mountainous stone

so welded inside with a belief
perhaps i may never be able to sleep

8 thoughts on “the weight in my bones.

  1. I didn’t see anywhere to respond but here. I wanted to acknowledge what you’re going through. It’s very challenging and eye opening. I was with both my parents when they took their last breath. I’ve had close friends, a husband die. A lot of loss in my life. Not my favorite part of being awake.
    I used to run support groups for terminally & chronically ill. It made me notice each day because they did.
    I believe the most intimate thing you can go through w/someone is death. It’s also one of the most compassionate and challenging. I don’t know if Vic is still w/us. Say everything you need to & more. Most people aren’t aware that the audio is the last to go, Even in a coma, we can still speak to them. I know this Is a difficult & painful time. Take care of yourself. I hope she has an easy and loving passing. God Bless

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    1. Thank you for your kind advice and words. I was lucky to be with both my parents, mother-in-law and couple of TB and Aids people at their passing. In all cases it was a merciful release and peaceful. It is a difficult time but we are all at peace. I do fear the “afterwards” grief though.

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