This weekend I again realized that there are people who are going through worse hardships than we are….
Tom, our son-in-law is a lovely, warm and hospitable man. He has made a huge difference in our lives. He is brutally honest as an individual. He has embraced the family and fulfils his role within the family with enthusiasm. Tom is bright – very bright! As a computer nerd he lives on STRONG coffee. He loves playing cricket with the boys.
He is Lani’s soul mate and a wonderful back-up father for the girls.
A couple of months before Tom and Lani got married Tom’s dad died from a heart attack. A year ago Tom’s sister was travelling from Cape Town with her Mom. Tom’s mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer and had her first chemo treatment that morning. A tragic accident…a car landed on top of theirs and Tom’s sister was killed. His Mom was seriously injured. Her accident injuries healed in time.
This weekend Tom travelled to Cape Town to say goodbye to his Mom… She is dying. Today my dear son-in-law had to sit next to his mom’s bed and speak his final words with her. In my heart I can see him standing in the door of her room and looking back one final time….It is extremely unlikely that he will see her again…. What thoughts went through his Mom’s mind? What did she see? Did she see her adult son she must be so proud of or did she see her little boy playing in the sand?
I kept thinking how unbelievable privileged we are. We are able to be with Vic every day, every second of the day if we chose… There is no need for cramming in “final words”. Every day we have new words, reassuring words, words of love and support. I cannot imagine having to get up from Vic’s bed, saying goodbye and having to walk away!
Tomorrow morning Tom will wake up; go to work…his thoughts will be filled with thoughts of his mom. How many times an hour will his mind turn to his mom and her final journey?
My poor Tom!
Travel well dear Marna….
10 thoughts on “Final words….”
My Prayers are with Tom, how sad it is for him to go through another great loss. Please send my love.
Thank you my friend. When am I going to see you?
So many tragedies for one person – so sorry.
Always impressed by your perspective, balancing the difficult time you and your family are going through, what you are thankful for, and the trials of others. One of the things that kept me going was the realization, at each clinic visit, that things could be worse and thus I should be thankful for what I have.
How awful for one person to have to suffer this much loss, sometimes life just doesn’t make sense!
A spiritual person once was discussing the Holocaust with me; she showed me a small part of the pattern of some material, and said that it didn’t make sense, but then, showed me the whole. She said our understanding down here is equally limited regarding what appears to be gratuitous suffering. I sometimes believe her, but I have to admit I have doubts too.
i think wisdom is a process, we never have all the parts in our hands till the right time arrives..
dear tersia, we never realize life till we are closer to death, our love just aches to the highest wave and rhythm when we see that the object of our love is receding into darker waters.. that’s the truth of life… a very difficult thing to accept and imbibe into our soul, yet it is there and we have no other choice but to believe it. a truly eye-opening post. thanks for sharing your life with us, there is so much that we learn and realize… :)
Your family has suffered so much…you share your strength with them, be sure to take care of you. God bless you….
I am so thankful for you writing this!!It is telling to me my dear woman that you are able to to let your heart still be open and to absorb others pain and tribulations. Are you not exhausted by the outside events in your life? I so know you are, its a rhetorical question for me to use to point out how utterly incredible you are
That you are able to look outside the walls of where I know you are completely invested only tells me what an all encompassing, all loving, person you are. How blessed I am to have your influence and your friendship in my life.
Thank you my dear friend ~ Please share a hug from me/
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