Another goodbye, another heartbreak…

I had a total meltdown today. Maybe because I heard last night that a couple are adopting baby Izak. Izak is the beautiful 8 month old foster son of Lani and Tom’s. The poor little angel was abandoned as a day-old baby at a taxi-rank.

This precious baby boy stole my heart and proved to me that one little boy can truly change peoples hearts.

But, the time has come for him to be blessed with loving parents in a permanent home. He is one of the lucky few.

We live in a country with hundreds of thousands of orphans and abandoned children. We do not have enough orphanages to accommodate all our orphans and abandoned children. The children continue to live in their shacks or homes after the death of their parents and often the head of the family could be as young as 11 years…

DIscipline is one of the few problems that arises from the situation. Children grow up with no social skills, no education and often suffer brain damage and poor physical development due to malnutrition.

One way or another the communities take care of their own. We seldom hear of a child starving to death or dying from exposure.

Baby Izak was one of the lucky ones to end up in a loving foster home. He looks at his “mommy” with absolute adoration in his soulful eyes. He loves touching my face and is a great hugger!

He is an intelligent, happy baby. He is ahead on all his milestones. His biological mom has AIDS, but thanks to the ARV program of our government Izak is healthy and not HIV positive!

I am sad that he is leaving our family. I am devastated that for the 2nd time this year I have to say goodbye to someone that I love dearly. I pray that he will be loved and be allowed to develop to his full potential. I pray that his new parents will protect him.
On Friday we have to say goodbye to this precious baby. I won’t go! Last Saturday he fell asleep on my lap. I want to remember that. I cannot bear to hold him even one more time just to have to let him go too.

So baby boy, I hope that you will know that I love you. I will always carry the memory of you in my heart. I am grateful that you enriched my life. I will never forget you. I hope you will continue to change peoples lives and perceptions. I know you have the potential to become the president of our beautiful country.

In my heart you are my grandson and will always be.

I love you so much!

nPosted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

Final words….

Wedding day

This weekend I again realized that there are people who are going through worse hardships than we are….

Tom, our son-in-law is a lovely, warm and hospitable man.  He has made a huge difference in our lives.  He is brutally honest as an individual.  He has embraced the family and fulfils his role within the family with enthusiasm.   Tom is bright – very bright!  As a computer nerd he lives on STRONG coffee.   He loves playing cricket with the boys.

He is Lani’s soul mate and a wonderful back-up father for the girls.

A couple of months before Tom and Lani got married Tom’s dad died from a heart attack.   A year ago Tom’s sister was travelling from Cape Town with her Mom.  Tom’s mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer and had her first chemo treatment that morning.  A tragic accident…a car landed on top of theirs and Tom’s sister was killed.  His Mom was seriously injured.  Her accident injuries healed in time.

This weekend Tom travelled to Cape Town to say goodbye to his Mom…  She is dying.   Today my dear son-in-law had to sit next to his mom’s bed and speak his final words with her.   In my heart I can see him standing in the door of her room and looking back one final time….It is extremely unlikely that he will see her again….  What thoughts went through his Mom’s mind?  What did she see?  Did she see her adult son she must be so proud of or did she see her little boy playing in the sand?

I kept thinking how unbelievable privileged we are.  We are able to be with Vic every day, every second of the day if we chose…  There is no need for cramming in “final words”.  Every day we have new words, reassuring words, words of love and support.  I cannot imagine having to get up from Vic’s bed, saying goodbye and having to walk away!

Tomorrow morning Tom will wake up; go to work…his thoughts will be filled with thoughts of his mom.  How many times an hour will his mind turn to his mom and her final journey?

My poor Tom!

Travel well dear Marna….

I hate goodbyes!


“Chloe, sweetie, wake up!  You have to go to school!”

“Nooooooo….I don’t want you to go!!” she wailed.

“We will see you again after Christmas….and Oupie is coming to see you next week!”


For the last time in a long time I dressed my precious little Chloe.  I held her skinny little body and breathed in the smell of her hair.  Tears ran down my cheeks when I thought “How long before I can hold her again…”

I fed her… brushed her teeth and held her cup when she drank her tea.  Now I must tell you that my little Chloe is very independent and she only humoured me….

Georgia came and sat on my lap and said “Me want you to stay…”  She did not cry when I left.  I cried.

I hate goodbyes!  There are so many tears between “goodbye baby – see you soon” and “Hello my angel, I missed you”…

Tomorrow morning I am home.  I will see my beloved Vicky and all my grandchildren!  Jared has been posting on his BBM status how much he misses me… It is sad to leave but that is the way life is.  We can never have it all.

As much as we desire good health, joy, peace, financial security, love and laughter for us and our loved ones, it is impossible to achieve all of it!  We are a blessed family.  We have love, laughter, joy and peace.  Good health eludes us…  We cannot all be together and see one another on a regular basis.  Yet we are not separated from all the children and grandchildren.  And Skype is great!

I am surrounded by a wonderful family who care and love unconditionally!  I have an amazing husband who I adore.  I don’t have many friends but my few friends are loyal, supportive and caring.

Chloe loves treasure hunts. In May when we had a treasure hunt I hid Mr Maker surprises   Chloe promptly told me that the Pirates cheated.  They did not hide coins and Mr Maker presents don’t count!  So this time around I went armed with a map of my room and chocolate coins …. When she gets home from school today she will go to my room to double check that I have really left!  The postman delivered the Treasure Map this morning… I wish I was there to see her having fun…

Tomorrow I will go to gym with Jared and Jon-Daniel and I hope to see Henk and Yuri.  Maybe I will see Kari and Simone on Friday…