This was my song for Vic. I played it for her all the time. We spoke about the words and the meaning of the words.
Today it is 21 weeks since I have been able to touch my child, hold her, brush her hair. I know that she is around me, but I feel so alone without her. Vic was my dearest friend, my companion, my daughter, my soul mate.
Yes, Vic is in my heart. Not a minute goes by that I don’t think of her, miss her…. But I really want her to be with me. When will this pain end? When will I come to terms with the fact that I am alone now.
Yes, I know I am surrounded by people who love me…I know they are worried about me… But nobody can fill the void that Vic’s death has left.
I feel alone even when I am surrounded by lots of people, family….
Nothing in the world could have prepared me for this thing called “grief”. This devastating sorrow.
This weekend I will work in the garden and start preparing Vic’s Angel Garden. I don’t want my child in a friggin garden – I want her in my home. I want her sneaking up behind me and kissing me on the cheek. I want to hear her voice saying “I love you Mommy”. I want to tell her how much I love her.
I want to hear her talking to her boys. Telling them she loves them the “mostest in the world”; reminding them to brush their teeth
I don’t want to feel this sorrow and pain. I want to be happy again.
7 thoughts on “Never Alone”
My Heart breaks for you, and I wish I had an answer for you but you know I do not…Try to breath and work a moment at a time….You can only do the best you can do at the given moment, no more no less…Hugs my friend
Thank you so much. I don’t understand. I was doing so well and all of a sudden I am absolutely overwhelmed by grief. I read it in your blogs too. Thank you for caring. Lots of love.
i wish for you that you didn’t have to live with this kind of pain xo
if only i could do something, i know i am helpless as is anyone who loves or cares about you. all i can say is i think of you and vic every day and will for the rest of my life.
wishing you peace of heart, in time…..
dearest Friend, the words of this song are so beautiful…your words are strength to me…thank YOU…one day we will be with those we had to say good-bye to…I believe this with all of my being!
I have not stopped thinking of you since I received your email. Hang in there. Lots of hugs.
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