Date of cremation….


I am busy with my child’s estate.  It is absolutely horrible!!!!!!

Today, 131 days after Vic died, I have to complete an insurance form.  The question I cannot answer is “Date of Cremation”.  I did not want to know!  This is another date that will stick to my memory until the day I die….  I had to send an email to the undertaker.  I await his reply.

I held my child death certificate and Notice of Death form DHA-1663A in my hands… On page 1 of 3 is Vic’s tiny little thumbprints, on page 2 of 3 – my thumbprint.  I am listed as the “informant”.  On page 3 of 3 the thumbprint of the Undertaker…

Form number DHA-1663A
Form number DHA-1663A

The darn certificates are smudged with tears now.  Oh well, tough luck!!

No parent should ever have to do, whatever executors have to do, for their child…  It feels as if my heart was ripped out of my chest! 

To-do list: OUTSTANDING FORMS TO SUBMIT

  1. DEATH NOTICE – FORM J294
  2. PARTICULARS OF NEXT-OF-KIN FORM J192
  3. INVENTORY – FORM J243
  4. ACCEPTANCE OF TRUST AS EXECUTOR
  5. CREDITORS LIST
  6. AFFIDAVIT RE EXECUTORSHIP
  7. SPECIAL POWER OF ATTORNEY
  8. INSURANCE POLICY CLAIMS

I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO TO SUBMIT THESE STUPID DARN FORMS TO!!  I suppose there will be a website somewhere that will tell me.

I WANT MY CHILD BACK!!!!!

 

Happy birthday to you…


I hardly received any 2013 New Year’s wishes.  Normally I would receive so many beautiful wishes but this year I received messages for a” peaceful New Year’s Eve filled with laughter and good memories…”

Last night my sister said in a text message “what tears do 2013 hold for you?  Maybe it should stay 2012”…

Jared went a friend’s home; Danie went to bed early – he is coming down with flu; Vic was asleep so that left Jon-Daniel and I.  We watched Comedy Central and had some good laughs waiting for 2012 to end.

Jon-Daniel loves making his Mommy laugh.  In a way I suppose he uses humour as a coping mechanism.

“I think we should wake Mom up at 12” I said

“Okay…Let’s sing Happy Birthday to Mom….” He said with a twinkle in his eyes.

As the hooters and sirens started going Jon-Daniel and I sneaked into Vic’s room and sang “Happy Birthday to you…”  Vic opened her eyes and said “What is happening?” and immediately fell asleep again.

The joke was on us.

Today was a quiet day.  The boys spend some wonderful quality time with their Mom.  Danie remained in bed until almost 4pm as he is feeling lousy from the flu.  We all drifted in and out Vic’s room.  In the afternoon Jared went for a swim.  Vic went outside and spoke to him.

Jared had some questions and she patiently explained to him what an “Executor’s” duties are.  She explained why Leon and I were the Executors of her will and the Trustees of their Trust. (I got some lovely photos of Vic chatting to the boys!)  Vic tried to show Jared that she could whistle through an acorn… Jon-Daniel taught her! As much as she tried she could not get a sound out of the acorn.  To everybody’s laughter she said “But I can do it!”

We convinced her that she should get onto the inflated lilo.  The cold water would reduce her body temperature and the sun would be good for the jaundice.  Very reluctantly she got onto the “non- life-saving inflatable device”.  I got into the pool with Vic.

Esther and Yuri arrived and she made a dash for her camera…  later Leon and Henk arrived.  The boys swam and laughed and played…

It was a wonderful day filled with glorious memories.  We laughed and joked and eventually ate.  Esther lay with Vic and they spoke about where Vic was in her journey.

It was a special day.

I think friends and family don’t know what to wish us…How do you say “Happy New Year” to a household where death is knocking on the door?  I would not know what to say to us if I wasn’t me…

But from our home to yours: We wish you a great 2013.  We hope that 2013 is filled with laughter, good health, abundance and time to do some good every day.  We thank you for your love and support.  Thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement.  You have been such an amazing source of comfort to us.

Thank you Hospice for giving us the means to have these special memories!  Thank you to the manufacturers of Morphine, Pethidine, Stemitil and Buscopan…

 

Jon-Daniel teaching his Mom to whistle through an acorn...
Jon-Daniel teaching his Mom to whistle through an acorn…
Vic trying to whistle through an acorn...
Vic trying to whistle through an acorn…

 

 

Jared gently helping his Mom
Jared gently helping his Mom

 

Jared and Vic having a chat
Jared and Vic having a chat

 

Esther and I with precious Vicky
Esther and I with precious Vicky

 

Hi Sis, you know I love you....
Hi Sis, you know I love you….