Soon it will be Easter.

Easter was one of Vic’s favourite times of the year.  She loved the Easter Egg Hunt ever since she was a toddler… Traditionally we always celebrate Easter Bunny Day on the Monday and not Easter Sunday.  (I did not want the Easter Bunny Hunt to be confused with the true meaning of Easter.)

As a toddler the EEH build-up started on the Sunday evening.  If she went to bed early (and without a protest) the Easter bunny  would come and visit the next day….  Monday morning she would wake up early and ask us whether the Bunny has arrived…We would tell her she has to have breakfast first… then we told her to keep an eye out for the Easter Bunny….    Our friends would arrive with their little ones who, for once, would be as good as gold.  The Daddy’s would walk Vic and the other little ones around the block whilst the Mommies’ would hide the Easter eggs. 

A daddy would proclaim “Oh I think I just saw the bunny!” and the dash for home would start!  To the great disappointment of the little ones the daddy’s were always too slow and all they ever found was a trail of Easter eggs.  When the children were young the eggs were just the marshmallow type.  As our cash flows improved the marshmallow Easter eggs improved to hollow chocolate types.

I would start buying Easter Eggs almost immediately after the Valentine’s shelves were emptied and restocked with Easter Eggs.


Sadly we got to a stage when Vic was too old for the hunt.  Vic no longer believed in the Easter Bunny but humoured me, or rather discovered the advantage of humoring me.  Marlene, my BFF, and I made massive hollow chocolate Easter Eggs, and not even Vic was able to eat her whole egg… We toasted Hot Cross buns and ate far too many Easter eggs.  Easter remained a special  time of the year.

Then we had our first grandchild and the game was back on!  Vic LOVED Easter.  (Actually, to be honest, Vic loved any gathering whether it be friends or family, but she especially loved Easter!)

I will never forget our first grandchild Easter Hunt.  Vic was so excited that her baby would have his first Easter Egg Hunt.

A radiant Easter Bunny hiding Easter Eggs...
A radiant Easter Bunny hiding Easter Eggs…

Colin and Danie started walking Jared whilst Vic, and I hid the Easter Eggs.  The poor baby could never eat all the eggs and I ended up taking bag loads to AIDS homes.  Then grandchild two and three arrived, and the game was truly on.

Over the years we developed a wonderful system where the little ones would collect the eggs and Vic would divide it equally between all the children.  At a certain stage I decided to cut down on the chocolate and bought the kids pyjamas and less eggs….Well I suppose I tried to cut down but wasn’t too successful.  The thought was noble.

Vic Easter Monday 2012 - her last Easter...
Vic Easter Monday 2012 – her last Easter…

Even though Vic’s boys have been too old for an Easter Egg Hunt for several years, they have enjoyed the thrill of helping the younger cuzzies look for the bunny and the eggs.  Aunt Vic never stopped sharing the Easter eggs amongst the kids.

Last Easter the two Cape Town girls were with us for the first time.  I loved their joy.  I missed the three little ones who live in the UK.  Vic had a good day.

This year will be the first year in 16 years that we will not have an Easter Egg hunt.

I still have the Lindt bunny Vic bought me last year.

I knew it would be our last Easter.

A vicious cycle of nerves

I thought Sunday to Wednesday was a nightmare but boy oh boy come Wednesday morning and my child became a terror!  The “my son really needs me” adrenaline kicked in and Vic was uncontrollable!

She was out of bed, marching into Jared’s ward as if she was the healthiest person in the world!  I was at a total loss.  My dearest friend Gillian wrote me a message: “What a wonderful mom.  Her child comes before her illness. WillVic Accompanying Jared to theater. not let go until her kids are okay. You can be very proud of your daughter”… My reply was: “Yeah – too cross with her to give her any credit at this stage”

Vic cannot pace herself.  Like on Sunday, she will be like a jack-in-the-box and when the moment is over, crash!  In this super human effort to be there for Jared she causes so much stress to everyone around her.  Jared stresses because she fusses around him, I stress because she is overdoing things again and I know there is a severe penalty to be paid for that, Jon-Daniel stresses for both them!  Danie stresses for me… I get irritated with Danie for trying to protect me…. It is a vicious cycle of nerves!

Jared’s operation went very well.  The poor baby was in so much pain but stoically brave!  Not a whimper!!  I am so proud of this beautiful boy.  I was a little concerned for his emotional well being after Sunday.  He cried with fear and frustration for his mother.

Vic was up and down the passages last night checking on her son!  This morning Jared said “Oumie I am so tired.  Mom kept coming in and touching me…”  Vic means so well!  She wants to be there for her children but often does not understand that she is the sick one.  Her actions stress us out.  On the other hand, I must admit, that I was more at ease knowing that Vic was in the same hospital as Jared and able to check on him…

It is such a heart wrenching situation.  Vic wants to be a mother and I want her to be a child!!  When she is okay she can be whatever she wants’ to be.  When she is ill I want her to become my baby again…  Vic is an amazing mother.  She loves her boys with every fiber of her body.  She has fought to stay alive for the boys.  Who am I or anyone to deprive her of this wonderful privilege?  At the end of the day it is her reward for surviving the odds…

On Monday the physician cancelled the bloods he had ordered and agreed that palliative care was the only route to go… I don’t think he thought she would leave the hospital alive… On Wednesday Vic was looking out for her son…What a brave woman my child is.

Vic was discharged from hospital this morning.  It is Thursday.

Vicky is super-human!