Kahlil Gibran – Vic's Final Journey

Christian prayers for the dying

All religions have prayers for the dying. There is so much common ground between the different religions and their prayers. I will post different religions prayers for their dying.

Kahlil Gibran – 1883-1931 writes…If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life. For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.

Christians believe in the redeeming power of love.

Christians are encouraged to be childlike in their faith; to pray for forgiveness regardless of how far they had strayed.

Christians believe in the resurrection of the body. One week before her death Vic requested that she be served Holy Communion. I believe that Vic was comforted by the words of John 6:54 that reads “Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.” Vic truly believed in the words of Paul in Romans 1:16b, “because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes…

Here are some examples of Christian Prayers that can be prayed with the dying:-

“Oh Righteous Father, we know our days are numbered in your book of life and that precious in your sight are the death of your saints. We are so thankful that we can stand on your promises and know that when we die, we are instantly in your holy presence. All of those who have gone before us, beloved friends and family, are there waiting for us. We know that death cannot hold us because just as Jesus died and was resurrected, we too know that we also will be raised to eternal life. There is such peace in knowing that there will be no more tears, no more sorrow, and no more pain. What great and precious promises you have given us. We know that nothing can ever separate us from your love. No one or nothing can snatch us out of Your mighty hands. Blessed Lord, please be with [name] in this time and with his/her family; to comfort, strengthen, and encourage them during the coming difficult days and times ahead. We pray that Your tender mercies be upon [name] now. I thank God for [name] and the faithfulness that he/she has shown in their life. [name] has placed his/her trust and faith in You and we know that you will never leave [name] nor forsake him/her. We thank you for your precious gift of salvation which came through the precious the blood of the Lamb of God at supreme cost. Our atonement was made possible by Him and has made us one with You. We ask these things in the power, majesty, glorious, and most holy name of our Saviour, King, Master, and Lord, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Saying “Thank you” and “Good-bye” – Helen Meier, Hope Hospice, Dublin, CA

________(person’s name) thank you for all you have given me, your family, friends, and the world. You have impacted my life with your love, your caring and your wisdom. Now that you are gone, I will carry all your love and everything I learned from you within me. The essence of who you were as a person will live within me and within others. You will continue to give to the world as we pass on to others what we learned from you. I will miss you, but will have joy in remembering all you meant to me. Each thing you touched will bring you to mind. Your laugh, your smile, your words will resound in my mind and heart. Good-bye dear one.

John 14:1-3

Let not your hearts be troubled: believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.

The Lord is my shepherd;
I have everything I need.
He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.

He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.

Even when I walk
through the dark valley of death,
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.

Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.
You prepare a feast for me
in the presence of my enemies.

You welcome me as a guest,
anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.

Surely your goodness and unfailing love
will pursue me all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord forever. Amen

– The Bible, Psalm 23 –

Benedict,
when the storm rages
around me,
and I can hold on no more,
when the waves of fear engulf me
and I am weary,
battered and sore,
take me then and steer me,
storm-tossed, broken and afraid,
into the arms of your safe harbor
safely home.
Amen

– Prayer to St. Benedict –
– Friar Dennis Ward O.S.B. –

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2342444733

Our Father who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come;
thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation;
but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom,
the power and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Amen

– Lord’s Prayer, traditional –

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that
we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.

– Peace Prayer of St Francis –

Unto God’s gracious mercy
and protection we commit you.
May the Lord bless you and keep you;
may the Lord make his face to shine upon you
and give you peace evermore.
Amen

– The Bible, Chapter 6, Verses 24-26 –

To every thing there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance.

– The Bible, Ecclesiastes 3, Verses 1-4 –

Blessed are the poor in spirit:
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they that mourn:
for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek:
for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are they which do hunger
and thirst after righteousness:
for they shall be filled.

Blessed are the merciful:
for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart:
for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers:
for they shall be called the children of God.

Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake:
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

– The Sermon on the Mountain, Matthew 5:3-10 –

Watch thou, dear Lord,
with those who wake,
or watch, or weep tonight,
and give thine angels charge
over those who sleep.

Tend thy sick ones, Lord Christ.
Rest thy weary ones.
Bless thy dying ones.
Soothe thy suffering ones.
Pity thine afflicted ones.
Shield thy joyous ones.
And all, for thy love’s sake.
Amen.

– Saint Augustine’s Evening Prayer –

Credit: http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/how-to-pray-with-the-dying-5-helpful-tips/

http://www.beliefnet.com/Prayers/Protestant/Death/Prayer-For-Someone-Who-Is-Dying.aspx

http://www.sofriendsofhospice.org/spiritual/words.shtml

Your children are not your children…

Of course I have read the words of Khalil Gibran many times. Yet this morning I read these words with and through different eyes. I read the blog post of one of my favourite bloggers –

http://deodatusblog.wordpress.com/2013/09/10/your-children-are-not-your-children-they-are-sons-and-daughters-of-lifes-longing-for-itself-says-khalil-gibran/ and was overwhelmed with the exquisite words of guidance contained in this beautiful poem.

Read this with me.

“Your children are not your children.“

“Your children are not your children.
They are sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you.
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the make upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness.
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He also loves the bow that is stable.” – Khalil Gibran

As a mother who carried a precious baby in her womb for almost 9 months my eyes lingered on the words “They come through you but not from you.” Vic came from me? An umbilical cord that was never severed, bound us together from the first second she were conceived. Even though death took my child from me the umbilical cord of love that bounds us cannot be severed. My love for Vic supersedes the bonds of death.

So no, I don’t agree with Gibran although I understand what he is saying. In this case I prefer literally translating his words…

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts..

How poignantly true these words are. As a parent it was horrible watching Vic make mistakes…knowing that her actions and decisions would lead to heartache and tears. How I wished that she would see things my way! My way would have been the safe way. Vic would have been spared rivers of tears and mountains of heartache. My way would have deprived her of great joy and happiness. As a mother I picked up pieces, held her and loved her. I could not protect her. Vic had her own thoughts!

You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

I housed Vic’s little body. The moment of greatest sadness in my life was when Vic’s soul left her body. I was grateful that her suffering was over but devastated that our journey as mother and daughter was over. I knew that she instantly became an elevated being removed from the hardship and indignity that she suffered on earth. I knew that she would never be prod, cut, hurt or be humiliated again. As her mother, I bathed her and dressed her one last time, as I did when she was born. No other prying, clinical hands would touch her again. I was beyond grief knowing that I would never be able to talk to her again. I would never hold her again. I would never hear her say “Love you Mommy” again. My soul mate, my life was gone. My child’s soul now dwells in the house of tomorrow that I cannot visit or even comprehend.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

I never wanted Vic to be like me. Vic was strong, brave, loved, cherished, admired, gentle, loving, forgiving and vulnerable. I am tough, logical and emotionally distant. I allow very few people close to me and, if they betray my love and trust, I cut them out of my life. As a little girl, Vic said to me “I don’t want to be like you Mommy. I just want to be a normal mummy.” Vic was the one who taught me patience, unconditional love, forgiveness and to take a chance on life and love. Vic lived every second of her life. She did not fear emotion. She did not fear love and trust. I pray that her sons will remember these qualities their mother possessed. I pray that they will be more like her than me. I did however love Vic first and everyone else second…

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the make upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness. For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He also loves the bow that is stable.”

I was the bow that send my precious girl-child forth.

The boys do archery as an extracariculum activity. To be a good archer you need consistent anchor points: An anchor point is the place on your face where you pull the string back to consistently. This anchor point should be exactly the same all the time for a consistent grouping of shots. My parents taught me, by example, the importance consistency in values, discipline and love.

An archers grip on the bow handle should be lax and comfortable. My first instinct as a parent was “to grip the bow hard to stabilize it”. My parents taught me to be a comfortable parent. I did my best. I could not do more. No amount of tightening the grip on Vic, her discipline or my love and caring for her would have made me a better parent. My grip was lax and comfortable. My child was an amazing example to the world.

Whether you’re doing target archery, 3D archery, or bow hunting, it is vital to concentrate and focus on one precise spot that you want to hit. As a parent is was difficult to stay focused all the time. Lots of things “get in the way” of parenting. A new love, work, own dreams and ambitions…Yet I gave birth to my incredible baby girl and I knew I had to remain focused. Vic had to come first. She did not chose to be born. I chose to give birth to her.

Archers are told that to be relaxed whilst aiming, is one of the great secrets to success… As a parent it was almost impossible to relax. I spent my child’s life trying to keep her alive. If I relaxed I know it could have led to her death. When your child is sickly, you are overprotective… Today I wish I had relaxed more. I wish I had spent more time discussing things that, mattered to Vic than the number and colour of her bowel movements and vomiting sessions. I wish I had relaxed about her smoking. Smoking did not kill her. Doctors did.

“At the heart of it, mastery is practice. Mastery is staying on the path.” With parenting we practice as we go. We don’t ever stop or give up. I wish that we had more gladness in our lives and less sorrow and pain.

What I am certain of is that I was a stable bow. I was unwavering in my love and commitment to Vic and now her boys. The Great Archer held us in His great Hands.

I found this beautiful poem on http://warrenlgdemills.com/2013/05/11/umbilical-cords-a-mothers-day-poem/. Warren is an amazing poet and I have found much solace in his words.

Umbilical Cords – A Mother’s Day Poem
Posted: May 11, 2013 in Affections
Tags: love, mother’s day, poems, Poetry 1

Umbilical cords
Are but metaphors
To represent the eternal
Connection between mother
And child.

Though that cord may be severed
That love supersedes the bonds of death.
For they are the cords of life!

When a child is born
so is a mother.
It is the graduation of a girl
To a woman.
The transition from
Woman to mother.
The ascension of adult
To goddess, creator of life.

Oh great goddess,
Would you understand
The power within you?
Would you fathom
the role you play
On the stage of life?

By your love
Is a great man groomed.
By your neglect
is his future family doomed.
By your touch
Is intimacy first understood.
By your hand
Does he separate bad from good.

Oh great goddess,
For every good child
Reared from your breast
There is a star in the cosmos
To be named after you.

Though that cord was cut
You replaced it with one unseen
Your care, patience for years,
To provide the world with one more
Decent young man to make this world
A better place.

-WLGDM

When a child dies…

“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for which has been your delight”. ~ Kahlil Gibran.

At times the pain and feelings of desolate loss is overwhelming. I know it is because I loved Vic so much. I am grieving because I miss my child, the mother of my grandchildren, my friend. I miss drinking endless cups of tea…. sometimes laughing and sometimes weeping.

I have grown used to not constantly checking my text messages when I sit in meetings. I have actually forgotten my phone at home on two occasions. I miss the countless phonecalls, finding little notes everywhere…. a soft kiss on the forehead.

When a parent dies, you lose your past; when a child dies, you lose your future. – Anonymous

Best Moment Award

I have been very slack and decided before I depart this world from this vicious flu-virus that I have contracted, I should get my affairs in order and accept all my awards.I apologise profusely for only accepting now. I LOVE getting awards, but I find it so difficult to pass the award on to so few bloggers. So I have come up with a strategy of saving my awards and doing it one-shot and hopefully I will not leave any one out… If I do – It is the flu…I received the Best Moment Award from two amazing bloggers – Jane – johannisthinking and Shaun http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/04/10/best-moment-award-2/

Three Time Winner

Awarding the people who live in the moment,
the noble who write and capture the best in life,
the bold who reminded us what really mattered –
Savouring the experience of quality time.

BEST MOMENT AWARD

My Acceptance:

I would like to thank two of my dear blogger friends for this amazing award. I dedicate this award to my precious child who is the reason and inspiration behind my blog. I started my blog when Vic was going mad with pain, and I was still fighting the system to get her into a Hospice Program.

First person to thank is Shaun – http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/about-2/ Recently Shaun wrote me an email and said the following

“The 1^st blog I read of yours was the one with you holding Vic https://tersiaburger.com/2013/01/25/vic-has-left-home-for-the-last-time/ Dawn and I cried and cuddled for about an hour, over time whenever you speak to me Dawn is asking “How is she” and “What is she saying” and caring…

Shaun has more than 670 followers after only blogging for a couple of months…He is articulate, bright, honest, sensitive and an amazing friend and blogger. I have so much respect for this young man who has overcome so much tragedy and hardship in his life. His love for Dawn and his children radiates from his blog.

The second is Wisconsin native Jane Johann, is a retired Reading Specialist and Language Arts Teacher. Jane received her undergraduate degree from Marquette University, where she earned a B.A., majoring in English Literature and a minor in Secondary Education (1974). She attained her M.A. as a Specialist in the Acquisition of Language and Reading Instruction, K-12, graduate of Cardinal Stritch University (1994).

I have never had any formal training – I just write from my heart. What I am trying to say is that Jane has every reason in the world to be a literary snob. Jane however is a kind, generous and compassionate friend. She writes to me and always has kind and encouraging words for me. I find peace in Jane’s writing. She cares deeply for others whilst she seeks “light, love and truth within ourselves is paramount to receiving the light, the truth and the love in others. Only in first accepting our worth, we will then be open to accepting the worth of others. Only in first loving and caring for ourselves, will we better equipped to love and care for others. I try to keep in mind the words of Kahlil Gibran, “It is not that God lives in us, rather we live in the heart of God!” Understanding that we all are part of each other, hopefully we will create a better world.”

Shaun and Jane thank you for honouring me with this wonderful award. I humbly accept.

The WordPress Bloggers that I nominate for this award are:

Wendie Jeanne Deacon at http://deaconfamilyblog.wordpress.com/an-angel-named-vic/. Wendie is a new blogger. I actually don’t know how she found my blog but I am grateful that she did. Wendie has fallen under Vic’s spell! Wendie is a very, very brave young woman. I cannot share her bravery and determination with you because she shared it with me in private correspondence. Wendie you are great. Thank you for your tribute to Vic and your friendship! I hope that you will blog about your challenges so the world can learn from you.
2. Krista – http://wordstohealthepain.wordpress.com is a young woman who is battling to come to terms with the death of her fiancé and soul mate. She is a new blogger too and can do with some support. She writes well. “Grief is a solitary journey. No one but you knows how great the hurt is. No one but you can know the gaping hole left in your life when someone you know has died. And no one but you can mourn the silence that was once filled with laughter and song. It is the nature of love and death to touch every person in a totally unique way ~~ Unknown”
Lori at http://letstalkaboutfamily.wordpress.com/ was her late Mom’s advocate and caregiver. Her beloved father suffers from Alzheimer’s and Lori suffers from debilitating back problems. Lori is caring and understands the stresses of caregiving. Lori blogs about elder care, death and dying, assisted living, family relationships, hoarders and hoarding. She is an excellent blogger.
http://ericalagan.net is a gifted engineer who writes beautiful poetry about Life, Love and Family – giving these profound topics a boy’s/man’s point of view. This brave man writes “Yes, men do remain faithful to their loved one and men do cry.”
Gloria at http://grannyscolorful.wordpress.com is an amazing friend. Gloria always leaves a word of encouragement after reading my posts. She writes about her sadness after her son’s death, her anger, depression and the rare happy day. Gloria is a very colourful blogger and I encourage you to visit her blog.
Emmitt Owen Riley at http://mysteryoriley.com/dear-grieving-parents/ is a blog that gives one a glimpse of how these parents are coping with their journey of unbelievable grief, loss, and mystery after the mysterious death of their 20-year-old son. Truly a brave blog.
Mary Russell blogs her Journey Through Grief after the sad death of her son. It is poignant and raw blog yet filled with courage and hope. Thank you for blogging your pain Mary. http://maryrussell12.wordpress.com/
Mel Lefebvre at http://hopethebean.wordpress.com is blogging her pregnancy. She lost her precious baby, Henry, to Osteogenesis Imperfecta. It is the genetic disorder that my precious Vic was born with. This blog is about hope, fear, more hope and love. Please hold Mel in your prayers. Love you Mel!!
Diana at http://talktodiana.wordpress.com/ ‘s blog is a wonderfully upbeat blog. I love the quote section! “Never stand begging for that which you have the power to earn.” – Miguel de Cervantes is just one of many! Great fun. Thank you Diana for featuring Vic’s journey (and my blog)on http://talktodiana.wordpress.com/2013/04/12/friday-pick-46/ . It meant so much to me!!!
Jane at http://janevanwyk.wordpress.com/ blogs about her daughter DD and her daughter’s illness. She is a brand new blogger and I am giving her this award to encourage her to come back and continue blogging.
Kelly at http://nevercryoverspilledmilk.com is a single mom who bravely battles chronic pain. She makes the brave statement “you can’t cry over the small things and you have to look at the big picture.” Kelly you are a brave young woman.
Victoria Bruce at http://furrynuff.wordpress.com/ is a fellow South African blogger with my Vic’s names…I love commenting on her excellent posts because I get to type “Victoria Bruce”….She also happens to be a great blogger. I hope you accept this award Victoria Bruce.
Jonathan at http://afathershope.com/ eloquently writes about his grief when his baby daughter was born without kidneys. Jonathan writes from a father’s perspective. He admits to his raw pain and shares how he copes with his grief. It is a blog of hope.
Denise at http://forphilip.wordpress.com/ blogs about her raw, undiluted pain after the death of her son, Phillip. It is a difficult blog because she so perfectly articulates my pain, anger and longing. Diane I hope you will accept this award.
MJgoodburn at http://mymomsmemoirs.wordpress.com shares her mom’s final journey and the trauma within the family. It is a difficult journey…
http://behindthemaskofabuse.com is a heart wrenching blog about a woman’s life of abuse. She was raised by a narcissistic father, and a mother who rarely protected her from his verbal, mental , emotional and psychological abuse. She endured molestation, both inside and outside the family setting, raped at the tender age of 11 years old. This blog is written by an amazing person. A strong person battling recovery, anger and betrayal. She battles C-PTSD and BDD. Out of her pain two books were born and are published on Amazon “Buckwheatsrisk-Abuse Survival”, and a poetry book entitled “If I Could Write my Heart” I salute you!
Alison at http://happilyhomeless2.wordpress.com ‘s Handsome Husband died on the 21^st of April from cancer. She is going through a dreadful time. She is angry, very angry… Alison I don’t expect you to do anything with this award but I am nominating you so you can know I am thinking of you. Hugs of strength to you.
Optie at http://walking-on-eggshells.com is another fellow South African whose blog I enjoy for her humour. Optie has however also been an amazing friend – always leaving a little message of encouragement. Thank you Optie.

RULES:

Winners re-post this completely, with their acceptance speech. That could be written down or video recorded.
Winners have the privilege of awarding the next awardees! The re-post should include a NEW list of people, blogs worthy of the award, and winners. Notify them the great news.
What makes a good acceptance speech?
1. Gratitude. Thank the people who helped you along the way.
2. Humour-Keep us entertained and smiling.
3. Inspiration – Make your story touch our lives.
4. Get an idea from the great acceptance speech, compiled in MomentMatters.com/speech
5. Display the award’s badge on your blog/website, downloadable in MomentMatters.com/Award

I would like to encourage you to visit some of these blogs. It will be a worthwhile visit…

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