In Memory of Vicky Bruce for my friend Tersia


“Hi my name is Shaun from Scotland.”

Shaun is an amazing man who lives in Scotland with his beautiful partner Dawn, two sons and two daughters.  Shaun suffers from Fibromyalgia.  Fibromyalgia robbed him from coaching soccer and his active life.  Shaun has suffered many losses but has grown in his pain to be an amazing blogger and friend.  In his own words ,”The pain took things and kept doing so. I decided to make the pain my friend and live and laugh.”

Shaun started following my blog on the 19th of January 2013.  How do I remember?  Shaun responded to my post https://tersiaburger.com/2013/01/25/vic-has-left-home-for-the-last-time/

I remember his words.  He said that he and his partner, Dawn,  sat and hugged for an hour crying for Vic…. Shaun reached out to me in the midst of my worse pain and never abandoned me.  Many people have grown tired of my tears and sorrow and moved on to other blogs.  Shawn has stayed.  He comments, consoles and encourages.

Shawn, Dawn and Dean (their son, made this beautiful picture and link in memory of Vic.

When I read his post tears just ran down my cheeks.  Tears missing my child that had such a profound effect on people all over the world mixed with tears of gratitude for friends who are not afraid to use my child’s name…  Thank you Shaun, Dawn and Dean for taking time out of your lives to remember and honour my precious child.

I cherish our friendship!

 

The Dragon Loyalty Award and Blog 2013 Award


I want to thank one of the bravest young woman, I know, for nominating me for two awards – The Dragon’s Loyalty Award and the Blog of 2013 Award. These are wonderful awards to receive. The Dragon’s Loyalty Award is an award for the loyal fan/commenter, whether the recipient is a fellow blogger or just someone who follows and comments regularly” and the Blog of 2013 Award is exactly what the award name says…The most deserving blog of the year….

 dragons-loyalty-award

There are some rules that one must follow to fully accept The Dragon’s Loyalty Award and they are as follows:

1. Firstly, display the Awards on your site. You earned it and you deserve it!
2. Link back to the person who gave you the award in your acceptance post
3. Nominate 15 well deserving bloggers for the Award and let them know the wonderful news by sending them a message on their site
4. List 7 interesting facts about yourself

 Seven facts about me:

  1. I live in South Africa and am proudly South African
    2. I always forget to wear lipstick…
    3. For the first time in my life I am working with a lot of women. I have always worked in male dominated industries.  I love my new Magnolia friends.
    4. I hate my birthday – for no particular reason.

    5. My 2014 resolution is to write Vic’s Memoirs                                                              6. I have a very inquisitive mind.                                                                                        7. I love taking close-up portrait photographs

 My 15 nominees for both awards are:


Many thanks to my brave and amazingly talented blogger friend Katie Mitchell for nominating me for this award too! Katie Mitchell suffers debilitating pain yet this brave young woman has made it her mission in life to educate the world on Connective Tissue disorders. She is a very talented artist. Katie is truly amazing and I highly recommend stopping by her blog at http://tissuetales.com/2012/10/01/treading-water/.

 Instructions for this Award are:

1. Select the blogs you think deserve the ‘Blog of The Year 2013 Award’. *See my 15 nominees above*
2. Write a blog post and tell us about the blog(s) you’ve chosen (There are no minimum or maximum number of blogs required), and present the blogs with their Award.
3. Let the blog(s) that you’ve chosen know that you’ve given them this Award and share the instructions with them. (Please, don’t alter the instructions or the badges!).
4. Come over and say hello to the originator of the ‘Blog of The Year 2013 Award’ via this link:http://thethoughtpalette.co.uk/blog-awards-2-/blog-of-the-year-2013-award/
5. You can now also join the Blog Of The Year Award Facebook Page Click the link here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/BlogoftheYear
6. And as a winner of the award – please add a link back to the blog that presented you with this award – and proudly display the award on your blog – and start collecting stars!

About my nominees:

I have had tremendous support over the past 19 months. These bloggers that I’ve chosen to nominate are the ones who are ever-present in my life online. They are the ones who read my posts, offer words of support and friendship, and help make blogging the amazing thing that it is for me. They have helped me survive the most difficult year of my life. And in turn, their posts, pictures and stories enrich my life on a daily basis. They teach me, make me smile, make me think, and consistently remind me how truly wonderful our community of bloggers is. I have received other awards and will award the rest of my loyal cyber friends. Many of my nominees suffer either debilitating illness, pain or grief. Some of them don’t accept awards. Regardless of this I am still making the award. Thank you for your love and support; all your words of advice and kindness.

 You’re all wonderful and deserving of this recognition! 

  1. An extra nomination – My beautiful, brave child who radiated goodness and kindness, these awards are for you!  You made the world a better place.  I am proud to be your Mommy.  I love you Angel Child.


The Semper Fidelis Award


Semper Fidelis Award
Semper Fidelis Award

This was such an amazing award to receive!  Thank you Shaun.  Shaun @  http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com is my Scottish friend…He is a compassionate, funny, crazy friend.  He is so generous!  The award actually says everything I could possibly say about him…

Patty, @ http://petitemagique.wordpress.com  created this wonderful award.  This is a new award so I am terribly honoured to be one of the first ever nominations of this award.  Patty only nominated Shaun so I am one of the firsts to ever receive this award!  http://petitemagique.wordpress.com/2013/06/06/awards/ 

Patty says The “Semper Fidelis Award” means “Always Faithful” in English. ”I created this award because I wanted to do something special for my friends on WordPress. Semper Fidelis is Latin and means Always Loyal. Loyalty means the world to me. I am very loyal myself, but I’ve got major trust issues as well. And I think trust is very important if you are sharing so much of yourself with people you meet through the internet. So I am working on that! 

Why the wolves? Because wolves have very strong ties with their pack. Like a family or a great group of friends. And I just love them!

This award stands for the loyalty and love between friends”

The Rules:

  • Add the Semper Fidelis Award logo somewhere on your blog.
  • Thank the person who nominated you and link back to their blog.
  • Nominate 5 bloggers whose loyalty and friendship you value and you consider being part of your ‘pack of wolves’ on WordPress.
  • Post something special for all of your nominees separately and dedicate it to them. This can be a quote, saying, poem, picture, anything you think that would fit that person.
  • Let the nominees know that you’ve nominated them.

I now nominate My Wolf Pack.  Shaun, you are already one!

I desperately tried to stick to the rules but I cannot!  Please forgive me Patty and Shaun.  I could add another 100 names to my acceptance and I would love to!  I do not mean to slight anyone by not nominating you!  I appreciate each and every one of my regular followers and friends!

  1. My treasured friend Sandra @ http://thedrsays.org/, who is terminally ill and still reaches out to me.  This brave and selfless woman has to be the leader of my Wolf Pack.  Thank you dear friend for caring when you have so much to deal with!  You are always in my thoughts and prayers!
  2. http://behindthemaskofabuse.com is a heart wrenching blog about a woman’s life of abuse.  She was raised by a narcissistic father, and a mother who rarely protected her from his verbal, mental, emotional and psychological abuse.  She endured molestation, both inside and outside the family setting, raped at the tender age of 11 years old.  This blog is written by an amazing person. A strong person battling recovery, anger and betrayal.   She battles C-PTSD and BDD.  Out of her pain two books were born and are published on Amazon “Buckwheatsrisk-Abuse Survival”,  and a poetry book entitled “If I Could Write my Heart”  I salute you!  Yet this dear woman has so much love in her heart that she is able to reach to me.  Thank you dear friend!
  3. http://idealisticrebel.wordpress.com/ – Rebel is amazing and takes on the world! A brave blogger who is a great friend.
  4. http://jmgoyder.com/ – My precious friend Julie who has so much pain and loss to work through.  Julie writes about the love between her and her ailing husband.  It is the most beautiful love story ever!  Lots of love dear friend!
  5. http://valeriedavies.com/  A gutsy, wise lady who is a friend and an amazing writer.  Thank you for your love and support.
  6. Judy is my dear friend who has guided me through this abyss of grief that I am walking…http://myjourneysinsight.com  Thank you dearest Judy for your guidance and love!
  7. Shirley @ http://justiceforraymond.wordpress.com is a true warrior, fighting for justice yet always ready to extend a hand of friendship and support.  Thank you dear Shirley. 
  8. Len @ http://myownheart.me is a precious friend who always has a kind word of support ,  despite her pain after the tragic loss of her precious Klysta.  Thank you dear Len
  9. This wonderful woman has 1077 followers and yet she has time to read my blog, comment and encourage.  Thank you dear Diana http://talktodiana.wordpress.com/

Thank you dear Shaun for your generosity and friendship!  Thank you Patty for coming up with this amazing award!

Nominated for the WordPress Family Award!


WordPress Family AwardI am so honoured to receive this WordPress Family Award from not one blogger but two!!  How blessed can I be?

Thank you dear Jane @ http://johannisthinking.com and Shaun @ http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/    Both Jane and |Shaun are great bloggers, and their follower figures reflect it.  Jane has 375 followers and Shaun 696……I think the reason why they have such great stats is because they care!!  They comment, email, care and share.  Their blogs are filled with real-world life, happiness, sadness, pain, compassion and laughter… They share their joys and sorrows.

So this award is about being part of the Word press Family!

I started blogging almost a year ago.  It was just after my BFF and Dad’s one year anniversary and Vic had made the decision to let nature take its course.  It was a difficult time for the family.  We were helplessly watching Vic die – little by little every day.  Her pain was unbearable.

My blog started off cautiously focussing on Vic’s pain.  Tracy @ http://ohwhatapain.wordpress.com/ opened my eyes Vic’s pain – I could “feel” Vic’s pain after I met Tracy; Katie Mitchell @http://connectivetissuedisorders.wordpress.com/ – an incredibly brave young woman who encouraged me when she is in so much pain of her own…  I could “see” life through an ill person’s eyes…”feel” her pain through the eyes and words of other Chronic Pain Sufferers.

I grew more comfortable sharing and started blogging more about my fears and emotions… Ultimately about Vic’s death and our grief as a family.

Today I have 210 followers.  Many of them have become my cyber family!  They love and care for me, my family and my precious Vic.  They offer hugs, love, compassion, sympathy and advise.  They care unconditionally.  They do not criticize my writing, punctuation, spelling or grammar…

I have found friendships and love in cyberspace that I did not know existed.  It has also opened my eyes to the fact that there are good people in the world.  People who care….  It enabled me to open my heart and life to real life friends too…

I love my blogging family!  Love you guys.

I know there are slightly more than 10 nominations.  I PRAY I did not omit a precious friend’s blog.  If I did, please do not be offended.  Blame it on the flu.

Now for a description of the award in the words of the Creator Of The Award:

This is an award for everyone who is part of the “WordPress Family” I started this award on the basis that the WordPress family has taken me in, and showed me love and a caring side only WordPress can show. The way people take a second to be nice, to answer a question and not make things a competition amazes me here. I know I have been given many awards, but I wanted to leave my own legacy on here by creating my own award, as many have done before. This represents “Family” we never meet, but are there for us as family. It is my honor to start this award.” from Shaun @ http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/

 The Rules:

1. Display the award logo on your blog.
2. Link back to the person who nominated you.
3. Nominate 10 others you see as having an impact on your WordPress experience and family.
4. Let your 10 Family members know you have awarded them. There is a real problem here since this award spread like wildfire but I think I can find ten who should be recognized
5. That is it. Just please pick 10 people who have taken you as a friend, and spread the love.

My blogging friends and family as follows…

  1. http://jmgoyder.com/ Julie
  2. http://thedrsays.org/ – Dear Sandra
  3. http://myownheart.me Len
  4. http://valeriedavies.com/  Valerie
  5. http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/ – Shaun
  6. http://johannisthinking.com – Jane
  7. http://justiceforraymond.wordpress.com/
  8. http://grannyscolorful.wordpress.com/ – Gloria
  9. http://myjourneysinsight.com/  Judy Unger
  10. http://behindthemaskofabuse.com/

10. http://hopethebean.wordpress.com/ – Mel Lefebvre

11. http://maryrussell12.wordpress.com/ – Journey through Grief

12. http://deaconfamilyblog.wordpress.com/ Wendie Deacon

13. http://talktodiana.wordpress.com/

14. http://janevanwyk.wordpress.com  –  chdmum

15. http://mymomsmemoirs.wordpress.com

16. http://doilooksick.wordpress.com/

17. http://furrynuff.wordpress.com/ Victoria Bruce

18. http://grammarofgrief.wordpress.com/ – Uma Girish

19. http://drbillwooten.com/ – Bill Wooten

20. http://jesussavingmefromme.wordpress.com/ – Michelle

21. http://sophieandemile.wordpress.com/ – Lucinda Elliot

22. http://barefootbaroness.org/ BB

23. http://picturesofsilverbyjanice.wordpress.com/  Janice

24. http://connectivetissuedisorders.wordpress.com/ Brave Katie Mitchell

  1.  http://ramblinsofagrievingmom.wordpress.com/

27. http://smilescavenger.wordpress.com/

28. http://whatcherylsaid.wordpress.com/

29. http://dlmchale.com/

30. http://missmorgansmom.wordpress.com/

31. http://idealisticrebel.wordpress.com/

32. http://lymphomajourney.wordpress.com/

33. http://poemattic.wordpress.com/

34. http://wordsfallfrommyeyes.wordpress.com

35. http://ohwhatapain.wordpress.com/

Thank you to all my friends and followers for their support, comments and awesome posts!

You have made my journey bearable.  Thank you for allowing Vic and I into your lives! Thank you for restoring my faith in mankind…

 

Best Moment Award


I have been very slack and decided before I depart this world from this vicious flu-virus that I have contracted, I should get my affairs in order and accept all my awards.I apologise profusely for only accepting now.  I LOVE getting awards, but I find it so difficult to pass the award on to so few bloggers.  So I have come up with a strategy of saving my awards and doing it one-shot and hopefully I will not leave any one out… If I do – It is the flu…I received the Best Moment Award from two amazing bloggers – Jane – johannisthinking and Shaun http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/04/10/best-moment-award-2/

best moment award

Three Time Winner

Awarding the people who live in the moment,
the noble who write and capture the best in life,
the bold who reminded us what really mattered –
Savouring the experience of quality time.

BEST MOMENT AWARD

My Acceptance:

I would like to thank two of my dear blogger friends for this amazing award.  I dedicate this award to my precious child who is the reason and inspiration behind my blog.  I started my blog when Vic was going mad with pain, and I was still fighting the system to get her into a Hospice Program.

First person to thank is Shaun –  http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/about-2/ Recently Shaun wrote me an email and said the following  

The 1st blog I read of yours was the one with you holding Vic  https://tersiaburger.com/2013/01/25/vic-has-left-home-for-the-last-time/  Dawn and I cried and cuddled for about an hour, over time whenever you speak to me Dawn is asking “How is she” and “What is she saying” and caring…

Shaun has more than 670 followers after only blogging for a couple of months…He is articulate, bright, honest, sensitive and an amazing friend and blogger.  I have so much respect for this young man who has overcome so much tragedy and hardship in his life.  His love for Dawn and his children radiates from his blog.

The second is Wisconsin native Jane Johann, is a retired Reading Specialist and Language Arts Teacher.  Jane received her undergraduate degree from Marquette University, where she earned a B.A., majoring in English Literature and a minor in Secondary Education (1974). She attained her M.A. as a Specialist in the Acquisition of Language and Reading Instruction, K-12, graduate of Cardinal Stritch University (1994).

I have never had any formal training – I just write from my heart.  What I am trying to say is that Jane has every reason in the world to be a literary snob.  Jane however is a kind, generous and compassionate friend.  She writes to me and always has kind and encouraging words for me.  I find peace in Jane’s writing.  She cares deeply for others whilst she seeks “light, love and truth within ourselves is paramount to receiving the light, the truth and the love in others.  Only in first accepting our worth, we will then be open to accepting the worth of others. Only in first loving and caring for ourselves, will we better equipped to love and care for others.  I try to keep in mind the words of Kahlil Gibran, “It is not that God lives in us, rather we live in the heart of God!”  Understanding that we all are part of each other, hopefully we will create a better world.”

Shaun and Jane thank you for honouring me with this wonderful award.  I humbly accept.

The WordPress Bloggers that I nominate for this award are:

  1. Wendie Jeanne Deacon at http://deaconfamilyblog.wordpress.com/an-angel-named-vic/.   Wendie is a new blogger.  I actually don’t know how she found my blog but I am grateful that she did.  Wendie has fallen under Vic’s spell!  Wendie is a very, very brave young woman.  I cannot share her bravery and determination with you because she shared it with me in private correspondence. Wendie you are great.  Thank you for your tribute to Vic and your friendship!  I hope that you will blog about your challenges so the world can learn from you.
  2. 2.      Krista – http://wordstohealthepain.wordpress.com is a young woman who is battling to come to terms with the death of her fiancé and soul mate.  She is a new blogger too and can do with some support.  She writes well.  “Grief is a solitary journey. No one but you knows how great the hurt is.  No one but you can know the gaping hole left in your life when someone you know has died.  And no one but you can mourn the silence that was once filled with laughter and song. It is the nature of love and death to touch every person in a totally unique way   ~~ Unknown”
  3. Lori at http://letstalkaboutfamily.wordpress.com/ was her late Mom’s advocate and caregiver.  Her beloved father suffers from Alzheimer’s and Lori suffers from debilitating back problems.  Lori is caring and understands the stresses of caregiving.  Lori blogs about elder care, death and dying, assisted living, family relationships, hoarders and hoarding.   She is an excellent blogger.
  4. http://ericalagan.net is a gifted engineer who writes beautiful poetry about Life, Love and Family – giving these profound topics a boy’s/man’s point of view. This brave man writes “Yes, men do remain faithful to their loved one and men do cry.”
  5. Gloria at http://grannyscolorful.wordpress.com is an amazing friend.  Gloria always leaves a word of encouragement after reading my posts.  She writes about her sadness after her son’s death, her anger, depression and the rare happy day.  Gloria is a very colourful blogger and I encourage you to visit her blog.
  6. Emmitt Owen Riley at http://mysteryoriley.com/dear-grieving-parents/  is a blog that gives one a glimpse of how these parents are coping with their journey of unbelievable grief, loss, and mystery after the mysterious death of their 20-year-old son.  Truly a brave blog.
  7. Mary Russell  blogs her Journey Through Grief after the sad death of her son.  It is poignant and raw blog yet filled with courage and hope.  Thank you for blogging your pain Mary.  http://maryrussell12.wordpress.com/
  8. Mel  Lefebvre at http://hopethebean.wordpress.com is blogging her pregnancy.  She lost her precious baby, Henry, to Osteogenesis Imperfecta.  It is the genetic disorder that my precious Vic was born with.  This blog is about hope, fear, more hope and love.  Please hold Mel in your prayers.  Love you Mel!!
  9. Diana at http://talktodiana.wordpress.com/ ‘s blog is a wonderfully upbeat blog.  I love the quote section!  “Never stand begging for that which you have the power to earn.” – Miguel de Cervantes is just one of many!  Great fun.  Thank you Diana for featuring Vic’s journey (and my blog)on http://talktodiana.wordpress.com/2013/04/12/friday-pick-46/ . It meant so much to me!!!
  10. Jane at http://janevanwyk.wordpress.com/ blogs about her daughter DD and her daughter’s illness.  She is a brand new blogger and I am giving her this award to encourage her to come back and continue blogging.
  11. Kelly at http://nevercryoverspilledmilk.com is a single mom who bravely battles chronic pain.   She makes the brave statement “you can’t cry over the small things and you have to look at the big picture.”   Kelly you are a brave young woman.
  12. Victoria Bruce at http://furrynuff.wordpress.com/ is a fellow South African blogger with my Vic’s names…I love commenting on her excellent posts because I get to type “Victoria Bruce”….She also happens to be a great blogger.  I hope you accept this award Victoria Bruce.
  13. Jonathan at http://afathershope.com/ eloquently writes about his grief when his baby daughter was born without kidneys.  Jonathan writes from a father’s perspective.  He admits to his raw pain and shares how he copes with his grief.  It is a blog of hope.
  14. Denise at http://forphilip.wordpress.com/ blogs about her raw, undiluted pain after the death of her son, Phillip.  It is a difficult blog because she so perfectly articulates my pain, anger and longing.  Diane I hope you will accept this award.
  15. MJgoodburn at http://mymomsmemoirs.wordpress.com shares her mom’s final journey and the trauma within the family.  It is a difficult journey…
  16. http://behindthemaskofabuse.com is a heart wrenching blog about a woman’s life of abuse.  She was raised by a narcissistic father, and a mother who rarely protected her from his verbal, mental , emotional and psychological abuse.  She endured molestation, both inside and outside the family setting, raped at the tender age of 11 years old.  This blog is written by an amazing person. A strong person battling recovery, anger and betrayal.   She battles C-PTSD and BDD.  Out of her pain two books were born and are published on Amazon  “Buckwheatsrisk-Abuse Survival”,  and a poetry book entitled “If I Could Write my Heart”  I salute you!
  17. Alison at http://happilyhomeless2.wordpress.com ‘s Handsome Husband died on the 21st of April from cancer.  She is going through a dreadful time.  She is angry, very angry… Alison I don’t expect you to do anything with this award but I am nominating you so you can know I am thinking of you.  Hugs of strength to you.
  18. Optie at http://walking-on-eggshells.com is another fellow South African whose blog I enjoy for her humour.  Optie has however also been an amazing friend – always leaving a little message of encouragement.  Thank you Optie.

RULES:

  1. Winners re-post this completely, with their acceptance speech. That could be written down or video recorded.
  2. Winners have the privilege of awarding the next awardees! The re-post should include a NEW list of people, blogs worthy of the award, and winners.  Notify them the great news.
  3. What makes a good acceptance speech?
    1. Gratitude. Thank the people who helped you along the way.
    2. Humour-Keep us entertained and smiling.
    3. Inspiration – Make your story touch our lives.
    4. Get an idea from the great acceptance speech, compiled in MomentMatters.com/speech
    5. Display the award’s badge on your blog/website, downloadable in MomentMatters.com/Award

I would like to encourage you to visit some of these blogs.  It will be a worthwhile visit…

Very Inspiring Blogger Award 2013


20130215045341Thanks to http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/03/19/the-very-inspiring-blogger-award/comment-page-2/#comment-2971 for THE VERY INSPIRING BLOGGER AWARD. Thank you Shaun!

Shaun suffers of Chronic Pain Syndrome yet devotes himself to creating a better world.  Shaun says “Love the people in your life, be happy, stay strong and always fight to better yourself. Some hide away and shy from the world, and live alone and die alone. We all are guilty, as if we reach out, others reach back. I reach out with every blog I do, and people do reach back.”  Pop in and read this incredible blog…

I now have to say 7 new things about myself:

  • 1. I love the sea.
  • 2. I am scared of spiders!
  • 3. I was born with wings on my feet.  I love travelling!
  • 4. I suffer from Airport Rage
  • 5. I fear Alzheimer’s!
  • 6. I don’t suffer fools lightly
  • 7. I love to learn about other cultures and areas of the world

I now have to name 15 people who I hope will share this award 

  1. http://namelessinthedust.wordpress.com
  2. http://johannisthinking.com/
  3. http://whatcherylsaid.wordpress.com
  4. http://dlmchale.com
  5. http://justiceforraymond.wordpress.com
  6. http://barefootbaroness.org/2012/02/25/1343/
  7. http://idealisticrebel.wordpress.com
  8. http://valeriedavies.com/
  9. http://wishwebber.com
  10. http://grannyscolorful.wordpress.com/
  11. http://buckwheatsrisk.com/
  12. http://myownheart.me/
  13. http://walking-on-eggshells.com
  14. http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/
  15. http://myjourneysinsight.com

The bloggers above have all have meaningful blogs that have enriched my life.  I consider them friends and am grateful for their love and support.  They are not the only bloggers that have supported me in my journey of grief but are the most frequent commenters.  Go give them a visit.

Thank you Shaun for the award and your continued support!