Drowning in grief

Photo Credit:  http://favim.com/image/112419/
Photo Credit: http://favim.com/image/112419/

Today it is exactly six weeks since my precious child died.  It has been such a rollercoaster ride.

I have gone from feeling numb and “accepting” to the deepest pit of despair and sorrow.  I have gone back to working and trying to live a “normal” life again.  I have laughed and cried.  I have learnt to keep my sorrow to myself.

I have however had days this week where the sadness overwhelmed me.  I have felt that I am drowning in it.  The house is empty.  I miss Vic’s smile.  I miss her hugs. I miss our chats and text messages.  I miss her smell and touch.  I miss my daughter and friend.

It is a mere 6 weeks, and I don’t know whether I will ever heal.  I know it is early days, but I also know my heart.

Judy Unger sent me these words and today I am posting it because it articulates  EXACTLY how I felt this past week.  Thank you Judy!  It is as if the realization of Vic’s death only hit home this week….


Copyright 2011 by Judy Unger
When you died my tears filled an ocean
I was violently submerged, gasping and barely able to stand the shock
Swirling in a raging current, a current of time
I was paralyzed and choking, wanting to drown, but unable to sink
The current dragged me along. It seemed endless . . .
Soon all my energy was gone. Anger at my fate depleted me further
I was going to somewhere unknown. The journey was filled with horror
I tried not to look while fighting to escape from the endless drift
Exhaustion led to floating. The current kept moving
Fighting it was useless; there was no going back to where I began…