Dying is a lonely journey. Not only for the sick person but also for the family. As hard as we may try to avoid death, the truth is that we do a lousy job of it. Science and medicine will certainly postpone it, even staying healthy might seem to delay it, but the harsh reality is that death does not wait for you, it does not ask you, and it does not listen to you. Death ignores your feelings and wants; you do not matter to death…Death is the only certainty in life! We need to remember that our existence here is fragile, and we never have as much time with people as we think we do. If there is someone or someones out there that you love, don’t neglect that and don’t put off engaging with them because waits for no-one… Vic's Journey ended on 18 January 2013 at 10:35. She was the most courageous person in the world and has inspired thousands of people all over the world. Vic's two boys are monuments of her existence. She was an amazing mother, daughter, sister and friend. I will miss you today, tomorrow and forever my Angle Child.
Today it is the 14th sad Friday since Vic died. Will I ever experience a Friday without sadness again?
It is 99 days today… Tomorrow it will be 100 long, tear filled days…
Sweetie, I love you as much as I did the day you stopped breathing. I miss you more than I could ever have imagined. I miss your gentleness, your unconditional love, your caring, your friendship and your voice.
Today it is exactly six weeks since my precious child died. It has been such a rollercoaster ride.
I have gone from feeling numb and “accepting” to the deepest pit of despair and sorrow. I have gone back to working and trying to live a “normal” life again. I have laughed and cried. I have learnt to keep my sorrow to myself.
I have however had days this week where the sadness overwhelmed me. I have felt that I am drowning in it. The house is empty. I miss Vic’s smile. I miss her hugs. I miss our chats and text messages. I miss her smell and touch. I miss my daughter and friend.
It is a mere 6 weeks, and I don’t know whether I will ever heal. I know it is early days, but I also know my heart.
Judy Unger sent me these words and today I am posting it because it articulates EXACTLY how I felt this past week. Thank you Judy! It is as if the realization of Vic’s death only hit home this week….
I MISS MY CHILD!!!!!!!!
MY TEARS FILLED AN OCEANCopyright 2011 by Judy UngerWhen you died my tears filled an oceanI was violently submerged, gasping and barely able to stand the shockSwirling in a raging current, a current of timeI was paralyzed and choking, wanting to drown, but unable to sinkThe current dragged me along. It seemed endless . . .Soon all my energy was gone. Anger at my fate depleted me furtherI was going to somewhere unknown. The journey was filled with horrorI tried not to look while fighting to escape from the endless driftExhaustion led to floating. The current kept movingFighting it was useless; there was no going back to where I began…
Reposted from Dr Bill Wooten – http://drbillwooten.com/2012/12/31/at-the-end-of-the-year/
“The particular mind of the ocean Filling the coastline’s longing With such brief harvest Of elegant, vanishing waves Is like the mind of time Opening us shapes of days.
As this year draws to its end, We give thanks for the gifts it brought And how they became inlaid within Where neither time nor tide can touch them.
The days when the veil lifted And the soul could see delight; When a quiver caressed the heart In the sheer exuberance of being here.
Surprises that came awake In forgotten corners of old fields Where expectation seemed to have quenched.
The slow, brooding times When all was awkward And the wave in the mind Pierced every sore with salt.
The darkened days that stopped The confidence of the dawn.
Days when beloved faces shone brighter With light from beyond themselves; And from the granite of some secret sorrow A stream of buried tears loosened.
We bless this year for all we learned, For all we loved and lost And for the quiet way it brought us Nearer to our invisible destination.”