176 days…..4234 hours


In the words of William Shakespeare…

“Time is very slow for those who wait;
very fast for those who are scared;
very long for those who lament;
very short for those who celebrate;                                                                                            but for those who love, time is eternal.”

It is Friday again.  I hate Fridays.  A mere 176 days ago my precious child died.  It seems as if it has been a lifetime.  It makes more sense when I say Vic died 4234 hours ago…

Yet, it seems as if it was yesterday.  292718_395925797163521_948785461_n

Hamba Kahle Little One…


Friday evening we duly said goodbye to young Izak.  My heart is at peace.  His forever-parents are a wonderful couple.  The Dad refers to Izak as his “first-born” son and the Mommy glows with pride when he does something cute (which is all the time).

I am so grateful that he will be going to a loving home.  The parents are intelligent, sociable and gentle.  The Mommy seemed a little uncomfortable changing and feeding him, but I think she may have been a little intimidated by our presence.  The Dad was born to be united with Izak.  They even look-alike!

The precious little angel was at his best behaviour.  It is as if he knows something is brewing….

Lani is such a kind, gentle soul.  She arranged a “Stork Tea” for the Mommy.  Some of her friends made up little gift parcels, and Lani packed one of each of his cereals, Purity, finger biscuits, medicines etc for the Mommy with detailed instructions.  She also made a beautiful “First Bible” with Izak’s photos in it!  The Mommy cried!

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His Oumie (that’s me) bought him a jean, baseball jacket and in African Tradition – a blanket.  I hope that when he is wrapped in his blanket at night he will feel loved and cared for, even when we are gone from his life.

I did cry when I kissed him for the last time.  I felt good knowing that he has forever-parents that love him and who will cherish him.  I can see he will be their pride and joy!

Tuesday at 1 pm Lani has to kiss baby Izak goodbye.  I know she will be heartbroken.  She has such a special bond with him!  He looks at her with absolute adoration in his bright brown eyes.  I know the girls will be heartbroken for losing their little “brother”.  Tom cried on Friday night when he prayed for Izak and his Forever Family.  I know in his heart he had some dreams of being Izak’s “wingman” on his first night out on the town.

 Take my hand and hold it as if it is my heart....

Forever Daddy – take my hand and hold it as if it is my heart….

I pray that Lani will cope with saying goodbye.  I know how hard it is!

I salute Lani and Tom for making a difference in an incredible baby’s life!  I believe that his abandonment is the best thing that could ever have happened to him.  His birth mom made an incredible sacrifice to ensure a better life for him.  In Lani and Tom’s home he had the best possible start to a good life.  Izak was showered with love by everyone he came in touch with…He won over hearts of stone!

My wish for this adorable little boy is a life filled with blessings, love, care, good health and joy.  Izak has the potential to become president of this country.  I pray that his forever parents will cherish and nurture this potential and guide him wisely.

So my precious cherub who laughs a lot, know that you started life surrounded by love.   Hamba Kahle.  I will miss you little one.  You will always remain in my heart!  (Hamba Kahle means to “go well” or “stay well”, not really goodbye)

Tom, Lani and Girls – I salute you for selflessly loving this precious child.  You have given this little boy a chance in life.  I love and admire you for it.

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It is Friday again


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Today it is the 14th sad Friday since Vic died.  Will I ever experience a Friday without sadness again?

It is 99 days today… Tomorrow it will be 100 long, tear filled days…

Sweetie, I love you as much as I did the day you stopped breathing.  I miss you more than I could ever have imagined.   I miss your gentleness, your unconditional love, your caring, your friendship and your voice.

 

 

I remember their sadness…


Sacre Coeur Basilica Paris
Sacre Coeur Basilica Paris

Many years ago I had to travel to Paris, on business, with two male clients.  The one middleaged man, advised me that his wife would accompany us.  I thought it was strange but did not give it much thought.  We had to attend the Eurostatory exhibition.  It may sound like fun, but exhibitions are hard work!!  We also had to travel to a neighbouring city to visit a manufacturer of products…  One arrives at the exhibition at 9am and you leave at 5 pm.  It is a lot of slow walking and standing.

Add the frustration of the Paris traffic and commuting between the exhibition centre and hotel….

Dinner is followed by falling into the bed and just “dying”…

My first thought was that this was a jealous wife who did not trust her husband on a business trip with a female colleague… the only other reason would be that she thought it would be a very sociable trip, lots of sightseeing and shopping.  Oh what the hell – as long as I was not expected to keep her company or take her shopping!

About a week before we left I found out that the couple had lost their son a couple of weeks before in a car accident.  I felt sad for them, made a phone call, asked my secretary to send flowers.  My life carried on…

I met the client and his wife at the airport.  Their eyes were so incredibly sad.  It made me feel very uncomfortable.  I remember telling them that the trip would be “healing”…  They nodded and said nothing.

We arrived in Paris on the Friday morning.  I told them that as soon as they has unpacked and freshened up we would start our adventure.  We would head out to Sacre Ceour…one of my favourite places!

Our first stop was the Sacre Ceour Cathedral.  We entered the cathedral and everyone was in awe of the beauty of the cathedral.  They asked why people were lighting candles.  I explained that people were lighting candles for loved ones who had died.

The husband and wife walked off wordlessly and went to light a candle for their dead son.  I was touched and sad for them.

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Over the years we have become ‘distant’ friends…we stay in contact, we exchange notes on our grandchildren, he phoned me when his daughter was diagnosed with cancer.  We cried together.  He said “You are the only one who will understand my fear…”  He knew Vic was ill.

I saw him today for the first time in about 18 months.  We spoke about business and a potential co-operation on a new project.  He said nothing about Vic.  He asked no questions.

Eventually, I said “Vic died three months ago you know…”

He said “I heard.  I tried to phone you, but you did not answer your phone.”

“I spoke to no-one” I said

“She is in a better place you know” he said.

“So let’s talk about how we are going to tackle this project” I said

I remembered the sadness in their eyes.  I remembered all the candles they lit for their son.  I remember not understanding their grief.

Now I burn candles for my beautiful child!

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Where to now?


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The subcutaneous driver is down.  By this morning it was obvious that Vic’s tissue was just not holding up. 

On Friday morning I removed and repositioned the driver.  Serum leaked out of the syringe hole for almost two days.  The area is inflamed, hot to the touch, swollen and painful.  Cellulitis has struck!  Yesterday evening I repositioned the driver again and this afternoon I removed it.  So I will now administer the 150mg of morphine and  the 60 ml Stemitil IM.  Vic’s derriere is black and blue and lumpy from the injections. 

Where to from here?  How are we going to control this poor child’s pain?  I can only think that they will have to fit a central line…  Will they do it?  She will have to go into theatre for that!  There is absolutely no way I would allow the procedure without sedation!  Central lines are very susceptible to infection and sepsis.  

Poor baby.  She is so ill.

Today I said to my BFF, Gillian, that it is almost as if, now the decision has been made regarding “her” Hospice, she is at peace.  I sat next to her and thought to myself “I wonder if she will make Christmas?”  But then I thought to myself “Wait a minute…This is Vic…She bounces back!”

Tomorrow her doctor will come and see her, she will go onto a course of antibiotics and bounce back again.  Then we will decide how to deal with her pain…

Central venous catheter   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Central_venous_catheter

 

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Central venous catheter
Intervention
MeSH D002405

Central line equipment

CVC with three lumens

In medicine, a central venous catheter (“central line”, “CVC”, “central venous line” or “central venous access catheter”) is acatheter placed into a large vein in the neck (internal jugular vein), chest (subclavian vein or axillary vein) or groin (femoral vein). It is used to administer medication or fluids, obtain blood tests (specifically the “mixed venous oxygen saturation”), and directly obtain cardiovascular measurements such as the central venous pressure.

Contents

[hide]

Types

There are several types of central venous catheters:[1]

Non-tunneled vs. tunneled catheters

Non-tunneled catheters are fixed in place at the site of insertion, with the catheter and attachments protruding directly. Commonly used non-tunneled catheters include Quinton catheters.

Tunneled catheters are passed under the skin from the insertion site to a separate exit site, where the catheter and its attachments emerge from underneath the skin. The exit site is typically located in the chest, making the access ports less visible than if they were to directly protrude from the neck. Passing the catheter under the skin helps to prevent infection and provides stability. Commonly used tunneled catheters include Hickman catheters and Groshong catheters.

Implanted port

port is similar to a tunneled catheter but is left entirely under the skin. Medicines are injected through the skin into the catheter. Some implanted ports contain a small reservoir that can be refilled in the same way. After being filled, the reservoir slowly releases the medicine into the bloodstream. An implanted port is less obvious than a tunneled catheter and requires very little daily care. It has less impact on a person’s activities than a PICC line or a tunneled catheter. Surgically implanted infusion ports are placed below the clavicle (infraclavicular fossa), with the catheter threaded into the right atrium through large vein. Once implanted, the port is accessed via non-coring “Huber” needles inserted through the skin. The health care provider may need to use topical anesthetic prior to accessing port. Ports can be used for medications, chemotherapy, TPN, and blood. As compared to CVC or PICC catheters, ports are easy to maintain for home-based therapy.

Ports are typically used on patients requiring only occasional venous access over a long duration course of therapy. Since the port must be accessed using a needle, if venous access is required on a frequent basis a catheter having external access is more commonly used.

PICC line

A peripherally inserted central catheter, or PICC line (pronounced “pick”), is a central venous catheter inserted into a vein in the arm rather than a vein in the neck or chest.

Technical description

Triluminal catheter

Depending on its use, the catheter is monoluminal, biluminal or triluminal, dependent on the actual number of lumens (1, 2 and 3 respectively). Some catheters have 4 or 5 lumens, depending on the reason for their use.

The catheter is usually held in place by an adhesive dressing, suture, or staple which is covered by an occlusive dressing. Regular flushing with saline or a heparin-containing solution keeps the line patent and prevents thrombosis. Certain lines are impregnated with antibiotics, silver-containing substances (specifically silver sulfadiazine) and/or chlorhexidine to reduce infection risk.

Specific types of long-term central lines are the Hickman catheters, which require clamps to make sure the valve is closed, and Groshong catheters, which have a valve that opens as fluid is withdrawn or infused and remains closed when not in use. Hickman lines also have a “cuff” under the skin, to prevent bacterial migration[citation needed] and to cause tissue ingrowth into the device for long term securement.

Indications and uses

Indications for the use of central lines include:[2]

Central venous catheters usually remain in place for a longer period of time than other venous access devices, especially when the reason for their use is longstanding (such as total parenteral nutrition in a chronically ill patient). For such indications, a Hickman line, a PICC line or a portacath may be considered because of their smaller infection risk. Sterile technique is highly important here, as a line may serve as a porte d’entrée (place of entry) for pathogenic organisms, and the line itself may become infected with organisms such as Staphylococcus aureus and coagulase-negative Staphylococci.[citation needed]

Triple lumen in jugular vein

Chest x-ray with catheter in the right subclavian vein

The skin is cleaned, and local anesthetic applied if required. The location of the vein is then identified by landmarks or with the use of a small ultrasound device. A hollow needle is advanced through the skin until blood is aspirated; the color of the blood and the rate of its flow help distinguish it from arterial blood (suggesting that an artery has been accidentally punctured), although this method is inaccurate.[citation needed] Ultrasound probably now represents the gold standard for central venous access and skills, within North American and Europe, with landmark techniques are diminishing.[3][4]

The line is then inserted using the Seldinger technique: a blunt guidewire is passed through the needle, then the needle is removed. A dilating device may be passed over the guidewire to slightly enlarge the tract. Finally, the central line itself is then passed over the guidewire, which is then removed. All the lumens of the line are aspirated (to ensure that they are all positioned inside the vein) and flushed.[citation needed] A chest X-ray is typically performed afterwards to confirm that the line is positioned inside the superior vena cava and, in the case of insertion through the subclavian vein, that no pneumothorax was caused as a side effect. Vascular positioning systems can also be used to verify tip placement during insertion without the need to a chest X-ray, but this technique is not yet a standard of practice.

Videos are available demonstrating placement of a central venous catheter without[5] and with ultrasound guidance.[6]

Complications

Central line insertion may cause a number of complications. The benefit expected from their use therefore needs to outweigh the risk of those complications.

Pneumothorax

Pneumothorax (for central lines placed in the chest); the incidence is thought to be higher with subclavian vein catheterization. In catheterization of the internal jugular vein, the risk of pneumothorax can be minimized by the use of ultrasound guidance. For experienced clinicians, theincidence of pneumothorax is about 1.5-3.1%. Some official bodies, e.g. the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (UK), recommend the routine use of ultrasonography to minimize complications.[7]

Central-Line Associated Bloodstream Infections (CLABSIs)

All catheters can introduce bacteria into the bloodstream, but CVCs are known for occasionally causing Staphylococcus aureus andStaphylococcus epidermidis sepsis. The problem of central line-associated bloodstream infections (CLABSI) has gained increasing attention in recent years. They cause a great deal of morbidity and deaths, and increase health care costs. Historically, a small number of CVC infections were considered an acceptable risk of placing central lines. However, the seminal work by Dr. Peter Pronovost at Johns Hopkins Hospital turned that perspective on its head. Additionally, the Institute for Healthcare Improvement (IHI) has done a tremendous amount of work in improving hospitals’ focus on central line-associated bloodstream infections (CLABSI), and is working to decrease the incidence of this particular complication among US hospitals.

The National Patient Safety Goals NPSGs and specifically NSPG 7.04 address how to decrease infections.[8] The NSPG 7.04 has 13 elements of performance to decrease CLABSIs.

The 13 Elements of Performance (EPs):

  • EP 1 & 2 deal with educating staff and patients about Central Vascular Catheters and their potential complications
  • EP 3 specifically directs facilities to implement policies and practices to reduce CLABSI
  • EP 4 & 5 are about how to perform surveillance for Central-Line Associated Bloodstream Infections (CLABSIs)
  • EP 6-13:

– Institute for Healthcare Improvement (IHI) bundle

  • 1. Hand Hygiene
  • 2. Full body drape
  • 3. Chlorhexidine gluconate skin anti-septic
  • 4. Selection of Optimal site for Central venus Catheter (CVC)
  • 5. Daily review of ongoing need for CVC

– Disinfection of intravenous access ports before use

National Patient Safety Goals require documentation of a checklist for CVC insertion and Disinfection of intravenous (IV) access ports before use (scrub the hub). Some literature has suggested the use of a safer vascular access route – such as intraosseous (IO) vascular access – when central lines are not absolutely necessary (such as when central lines are being placed solely for vascular access). Infection risks were initially thought to be less in jugular lines, but this only seems to be the case if the patient is obese.[9]

If a patient with a central line develops signs of infection, blood cultures are taken from both the catheter and from a vein elsewhere in the body. If the culture from the central line grows bacteria much earlier (>2 hours) than the other site, the line is the likely source of the infection. Quantitative blood culture is even more accurate, but this is not widely available.[10]

Generally, antibiotics are used, and occasionally the catheter will have to be removed. In the case of bacteremia from Staphylococcus aureus, removing the catheter without administering antibiotics is not adequate as 38% of such patients may still develop endocarditis.[11]

In a clinical practice guideline, the American Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends against routine culturing of central venous lines upon their removal.[12]The guideline makes a number of further recommendations to prevent line infections.[12]

To prevent infection, stringent cleaning of the catheter insertion site is advised. Povidone-iodine solution is often used for such cleaning, but chlorhexidine appears to be twice as effective as iodine.[13] Routine replacement of lines makes no difference in preventing infection.[14]

Thrombosis

CVCs are a risk factor for forming venous thrombosis[15] including upper extremity deep vein thrombosis.[16]

Other complications

Rarely, small amounts of air are sucked into the vein as a result of the negative Intra-thoracic pressure and insertion technique. Valved insertion devices can reduce this risk.[citation needed] If these air bubbles obstruct blood vessels, this is known as an air embolism.

Hemorrhage (bleeding) and formation of a hematoma (bruise) is slightly more common in jugular venous lines than in others.[9]

Arrhythmias may occur during the insertion process when the wire comes in contact with the endocardium. It typically resolved when the wire is pulled back.[citation needed]