A time to be born and a time to die…

A ton of gifts ....
A ton of gifts ….

It is Christmas.  It is a warm, and sunny-day, and my heart is cold.

This is our last Christmas as a complete family.

Vic has been vomiting non-stop.  The acid has burnt the inside of her mouth.  Her derriere is so lumpy, black and blue from the constant injections.  Sr Siza popped in.  She examined Vic and started drawing up a Clopamon and Morphine injection.

“Please Sister, not my bum.  Please do it on my thigh.”

Vic no longer has an appetite.  She is sleeping at least 20 out of 24 hours.  Vic is very warm to the touch and appears flushed.  The thermometer reflects a temperature of 37 degrees C.

“Do you understand what your body is telling you Vic?”  Siza asked

Vic nodded and whispered “I do not want to die…”

“Nobody wants to die, Vicky.  We all will walk this path.  Some sooner than others… You have a degenerative illness and your body is tired…”

“You must surrender your body to God.  It is time for your brain to make peace with what is happening in your body.” Siza said.  “Where is your Bible?”

Siza read from Ecclesiastes 3 – New International Version (NIV)

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
    a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
    a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
    a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

Siza prayed for Vic and the family for peace and grace in this time.  Vic cried and Danie gently held her.

Danie, and I walked with Siza.  Her eyes were sad when she said “Her body is shutting down.  It could be quick or it could be a few weeks.”

The rest of Christmas Eve passed as if I was in a daze.  Lani and the kids arrived, my dear friend Judy arrived after a marathon charity event and the smell of gammon and roast lamb permeated the house.  The tables looked festive and there were tons of gifts under the tree.

Vic handed out the gifts.  The kids shrieked with delight.  A  lot of thought went into the gifts.  The gifts were truly gifts of love.

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

   a time to be born and a time to die,

Vic doing the Santa thing
Vic doing the Santa thing
Vic, Lani and Tom
Love is family…
Our dear friend Judy, with Vic, and I. How beautiful is baby Izak?
Danie and I with Vic

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I am a sixty plenty wife, mother, sister, grandmother and friend. I started blogging as a coping mechanism during my beautiful daughter's final journey. Vic was desperately ill for 10 years after a botched back operation. Vic's Journey ended on 18 January 2013 at 10:35. She was the most courageous person in the world and has inspired thousands of people all over the world. Vic's two boys are monuments of her existence. She was an amazing mother, daughter, sister and friend. I will miss you today, tomorrow and forever my Angle Child. https://tersiaburger.wordpress.com

23 thoughts on “A time to be born and a time to die…”

  1. My Love and the gentlest hugs for you tersia, Vic, & your entire family. The book of Ecclesiastes haqs always brought me much comfort but especially verse 3. When I cannot understand life & how this great universe work I find solace in this verse. (also love niv, my current study version.)

    I also find it in the song by the same topic / I am certain you know it, by the Byrds. But I have embedded it here because its the kind of thing I do with music as you know I relate better sometimes than my words will do. .Thought it might comfort you too.

    Thank you for these amazing family photos shared with us. It is such a giving thing to do tersia, giving us faces to put with the names of you all we have fallen in love with. Vic looks just like you, both have such beautiful radiant smiles! You are the best my dear friend ~

    God’s blessings to you all this Christmas sweetie ~ your Pal BB


      1. Oh tersia, just saw your message pop up. I am heading out the door but needed to stop and send you a gentle hug today and thank you.

        I have been feeling neglectful and keep meaning to get caught up here at WP. Albeit your blog is one of a handful I do make a point of reading even when I do not comment I dislike the “like” button for many reasons but on your blog I rarely can click ir.

        I am in awe i of you my dear friend, to try to understand I am not sure I could ever ever explain in words.Just know that you are such a hero in my eyes not just a sa mom but as one of the most kind & loving women I know of. I am proud that you call me friend tersia Very proud! .

        My Holiday wishes are so bittersweet for you. I just want you to know you are so cared for by me and your WP community. Hugs friend just so many hugs~ BB


  2. Beautiful words whose truth can only be heard when one is ready to hear them…

    What a wonderful doctor as well as all you others who are around Vic at this time.

    Blessings to you alll


  3. Merry Christmas Tersia, much love and thoughts. I can only imagine all that you are going through, what a bittersweet day it must be for you all. I’m glad that you have this Christmas with Vic, I only wish that you could have many, many more with her too.


  4. words are so inadequate at a time like this. there is no wisdom that will soothe your heart or make this easier. it is such a blessing that you all have this memory to add to all the others. it is a blessing that you have your faith. it is a blessing you have so much love. i am hoping for more blessings to come your way.


  5. I am thinking of you all; I am puzzled as to how Vic manages to look so beautiful still. They are lovely photos, and what a marvellous Christmas tree and selection of gifts.


    1. Lucinda she is absolutely beautiful. Dressing up and wearing make-up is her trademark. Vic never stays in pajamas. Vic always tries to get dressed! I also only post good photos.


  6. Thoughts are with you and your family. So happy that Vic was able to make this Christmas – these milestones are important for all and hopefully will allow all of you to find peace when Vic finds hers.


      1. Tersia, you are so amazing how you reply to everyone’s comments in the midst of this life crisis.

        I didn’t leave a comment and you replied to a “pingback” which goes to my blog myjourneysinsight where I have dedicated my most recent post to you and Vic. It honors me that you consider me an amazing friend. Thank you.

        Here is a link to my blog story and music that is dedicated to you and Vicky: http://myjourneysinsight.com/2012/12/26/i-know-that-soon-you-will-leave-me/

        I’m not sure if anyone has heard the song yet with my preliminary lyrics – remember, when you’re ready to give me input, I will rewrite them to be more personal for you and Vicky.

        Trust me, you and Vic are heros. My heart breaks for your entire family. Thank you for sharing about those two, beautiful boys, Jared and Jon-Daniel.


  7. Wow….the sheer power of this post, and these words… I truly don’t know what to say, but I can’t let myself say nothing. What courage. What strength. It is amazing…


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