Extra tablets for your birthday…

A year ago I posted this…

Tomorrow, on the 31st of August, we will once again celebrate Vic’s life!  Every year, for the past 10 years, we expected it to be Vic’s last birthday.  Today I know that Vic will live forever.  She will continue to fight for another day, week, month, year…. Tomorrow we celebrate life!!

Tonight I sat doing Vic’s medication for the next 24 hours, and I popped an extra Jurnista into tomorrow morning’s tablets.    Janis Ian sings “and in the winter extra blankets for the cold…” and I sing ” and on your birthday extra tablets for the pain…..  My gift to Vic an extra tablet so she can a better day.

So, on the eve of my child’s birthday I am sitting thinking of what my prayer for Vic would be if I still knew how to pray.

I would pray for adequate pain relief.  I would pray for some quality of life time for Vic with her boys.  I would pray for Vic to have financial independence.   I would pray for Vic to have peace of mind.  I would pray that Vic would have enough faith in her dad and I to know it is okay to let go…the boys will be safe with us.

I do thank God that Vic is still alive.  I thank God for Dr Jabber Hussain and Jurnista.  I thank God for Vic’s incredible boys.  I thank God for the brave decision that Vic made not to have further surgery.  Above all, I thank God that Vic is home.

Tomorrow Vic will have a busy day.  She has a 08:00 breakfast appointment with Lee, a 10:00 manicure booked by Estherafternoon tea (at home) with Robbie Cramp and then dinner at a restaurant of her choice with the boys and us.   I know it will take a superhuman effort but I have “rests” scheduled for the birthday girl in between events.

What is a relatively quiet day for us is a marathon for anyone as ill as Vic.  I know that she will try so hard to survive the  birthday and the party day.  Somehow I don’t think she will manage it all.  I just hope that she has a good day so she can spend some constructive time with her boys.  They will need to remember this as a good birthday in years to come…..

On Saturday we will celebrate all the August/September birthdays.  Vic on the 31st of August, Henk on the 2nd of September and Tom on the 4th of September….  I hope Vic will be able to handle two busy days in a row.  Maybe the birthday high will carry her through it!

We have a family tradition of doing “birthday eulogies”.  Everyone present gets to say something nice about the birthday person.  Over the years I have told Vic how brave she is, what a fighter she is, how beautiful she is.  This year I will I will merely thank her for being here!

Everything else has been said.


In three day’s time…

In three day’s time we will celebrate Vic’s birthday.

On Monday, at Heathrow airport, I unthinkingly picked up a bottle of “Beautiful” perfume. I looked at the bottle of perfume and put it down as if it was a snake that was ready to strike… Vic is dead. This year she will not wake up to the sound of us singing “Happy Birthday”. There will be no shrieks of “Oh, thank you! This is EXACTLY what I wanted!” There will be no birthday party this year.

Vic opening her birthday gift from her Dad last year. The boys were so excited and everyone wanted to set up the “iPad”…

This year we will light candles for a precious mother, child, friend… We will send prayers to Heaven.

Thank you for memories

Jon-Daniel has had the best birthday ever!  Yesterday he left school early for extra time with his Mom, we had a fun family lunch and then there was a cake and tea last night at his Dad’s. 

Today it was his birthday party and Vic was well enough to enjoy it!  It was a glorious summer day; the pool was a sparkling blue, the trees and grass a vivid green….  The sun shone and sparkled on Vic’s hair as she stood watching the children play. 

Vic helped laying out the table, she bought helium balloons, she refused to sit or lie down.  She insisted on carrying Jon-Daniels birthday cake!  She started the singing.  She laughed and glowed with pride.  For a single day Vic looked just like a normal, healthy Mommy.  I could hear her heart crying…. “this is the last birthday I will have with my son”

I thank God for a glorious day and memories.  I thank God for granting Vic the joy of celebrating her baby boy’s 14th birthday.

Happy birthday my precious son!
Miracle Mom



Happy birthday my angel child!

Vic and all the men in her life admiring her PC tablet

Friday morning the boys woke Vic with breakfast and coffee.  They sang “Happy Birthday” and gave her beautiful gold earrings that they had chosen and paid for themselves.

Vic went to breakfast with Leeann at 08:00 and set off for the Beauty Parlour with Esther at 10:00.  She was home with beautiful nails at 11:30. Poor little poppet!  She was so exhausted.  She got into bed and slept for the rest of the day.

We woke her at 18:00 to get ready for dinner.  She was in too much pain.  She sobbed.

The boys spoke to her and told her “We will have takeaways and have dinner in your room Mom…like we did on Mother’s Day.  It will be fun!” Vic had spare ribs and the boys and I had wonderful hamburgers!  Danie is so health conscious he had the fish!  It was a lovely evening.  We were sprawled all over her bed, laughing and joking. I sat there and my heart filled with joy.  My beautiful little girl, her sons and my wonderful husband once again celebrating her birthday.

When Danie and I gave her a Tablet Vic was over the moon.  She loves gadgets and has wanted a PC Tablet for a long time.  Vic said “Mommy I can’t believe I got a Tablet that I don’t have to drink!”  We laughed until our tummy’s hurt.

Vic and I

We had arranged a barbeque for Saturday afternoon to celebrate not only Vic’s birthday but also Tom (son-in-law married to Lani) who has a birthday on Tuesday – 4.9.2012, Henk (grandson – birthday 2.9.2012)and Francois (Tom and Lani’s friend – birthday Monday 3.9.2012).  We hoped that Vic would have recovered enough to be able to enjoy the afternoon.  She rested until 14:00 and got dressed just in time to meet the first guests. We planned to sit under the trees but the weather turned.  A cold wind blew and we moved the party to the house.

Lani’s magical tables!

Children were running around and laughing.  Lani had prepared party packs for the kids and they had a ball!  The table settings were beautiful.  Lani is a magician!  Clusters of people were standing around chatting and laughing.  For a short while our household would appear to the world as a perfectly happy and normal household.

Vic looked so beautiful.  To the untrained eye she looked just like a normal, healthy young woman.  That is until she moved…she shuffles like an old lady!  She insisted on having photos taken with everyone as they arrived!

By 19:00 Vic was exhausted!  She conceded defeat and changed into her pyjamas on and slippers.  She came back to the table and tried so hard to hang-in.  Poor little poppet!  She cried from pain

Vic had a very bad night.  “What else can I take for pain Mommy?” became a refrain!

Last night Jared developed kidney pains again.  He said it was the same as last weekend’s kidney stone pains but worse.  This morning we decided to take him to the casualty department (ER).  Vic very bravely got dressed.  It was however very clear that she would not be able to go with.  She was just in too much pain.  She was heartbroken and sobs racked her little body.  “I am letting my son down….”

Jared had lots of pain meds and tomorrow morning we will see his urologist.

Our household is back to normal.  The laughter has subsided…..

It was a happy birthday………

Henk Birthday Boy 2.9.2012
Francois 3.9.2012 with Lani and Tom  4.9.2012 in the background

Fun was had by all!