Sweet 16


On the 26th of December 1996 Jared Colin Sadie was born. He was a beautiful, healthy baby boy.  I cried with joy when I first saw him and that first “rush of love” hit me.

Baby Jared
Baby Jared

Vic fell pregnant 6 weeks after she got married.  When the kids asked us whether they could get married I had a LONG talk to them about NOT having babies.  They both said “We know…”  I explained the dangers of passing the Osteogenesis gene onto a next generation of innocent children.

I will never forget that dreadful Sunday night when they told us that Vic was pregnant.  My heart stopped.  I sobbed in the shower.  For the first time in her life I feared for Vic’s life.

Vicky refused flat out to have an abortion.  She said the baby a gift from God.  And so he was….

Jared is an amazing young man.  According to our government he is now old enough to vote, get his learners licence for a motor bike and work…  I look at him and I see a little boy who was going to be a stuntman;  a young child helping his Mommy cook;  get out of bed; walk down stairs…

Both Jared and Jon-Daniel are loving, compassionate monuments of Vic love and mothering.

Jared is a “computer nerd” with a wonderful personality.  He has a keen sense of humour and wise beyond his years.  He is fiercely protective of his mother.  A very dear Saudi friend of mine says Jared has a “white heart”.  (Albak Abyad” an Egyptian expression that indicates a person with a good heart. It’s literal translation to English is “You have a white heart” as opposed to being a bad person with a black heart).

Vic, once again, managed to get out of bed.  She was falling asleep in her chair, but managed to visit with most of the guests who came, ate something and left.  Laughter and joy reverberated through the house.  Vic was the proud mother. It was a happy home for the day…

The boys have a hard time coming to terms with the stage that Vic’s illness is at.  Jared’s first words when he comes back into the house after Siza leaves is “What did Hospice say?”.  He researches every symptom and sends me links on liver and renal failure.  He is an expert on Osteogenesis Imperfecta and was 9 years old when he spoke about his Mommy at a Public Speaking lesson at school.  The subject was “My Hero“.  We all expected him to speak of Nelson Mandela, but he chose to speak about his Mom.  (His brother followed suit two years later)

He said that his mom is his hero because despite the fact that she is so ill she still looks after them…

Jared and his Mommy
Jared and his Mommy

Jared had a wonderful 16th birthday.  He was absolutely thrilled with the Docking Station Vic had bought for him. As soon as he gets his license we will buy him a motorbike.

She ain't heavy - she is my mother
She ain’t heavy – she is my mother

Yesterday was a milestone in Vic’s life.  I fear it may be the last she will reach.  It is clear that Italy will not be possible.

I was so tired last night that I slept through Vic’s 23:31 and 03:00 “Vomiting” text messages…. Vic refuses to use the intercom!  She feels it is “disrespectful”.

Mother and Son
Mother and Son

As much as Vic resents the fact I may have to bring in a night nurse.

I remember Vic’s 16th as if it was yesterday.  Now she is a grown woman with two teenage sons – nearing the end of her tenure on earth

https://tersiaburger.com/2012/08/27/kidney-stones-on-the-move/

https://tersiaburger.com/2012/10/10/i-am-taking-a-break-from-your-blog/
https://tersiaburger.com/2012/07/07/chronic-illness-versus-terminal-illness/
https://tersiaburger.com/2012/05/28/22-2-2002-to-28-5-2012/
https://tersiaburger.com/2012/06/09/9-6-2012/
https://tersiaburger.com/2012/10/16/and-the-winner-is/

The night was not over…


“You ain’t heavy, you are my Mother”

Early this morning I posted “My child is in a pain-free sleep.  I will now try to sleep.  “Tomorrow may be a rough dayhttps://tersiaburger.com/2012/12/07/tomorrow-may-be-a-rough-day/  not realising that the night was not over yet.

My poor child had a horrible night.  The pain was under control, but her arm still throbbed, and she was restless.  I was busy with some Christmas gifts.  I tried to go to sleep, but gave it up as a bad job.  So I wrote a post.  At 2am this morning I had just “published” when Vic rang the intercom.

The intercom is her 911

I ran down the passage knowing that my poor child had vomited again.  The poor little thing was standing in the shower covered in her 7 pm dinner and antibiotic tablets.  The food had not digested at all.  She was shivering and crying.

I cleaned up whilst Vic showered.

“I am sorry Mommy.  I am so sorry Mommy”… Vic sobbed.

“I can’t do this anymore Mommy.  I don’t want to live like this anymore….”

I eventually got into bed at 5am.  Three hours sleep used to be enough sleep when I was younger.  I think I am getting old.  I need more than 3 hours.  Maybe it is time to look at a night nurse…..

Hospice called early this morning.  The antibiotics have been changed to IM injections.  We cannot put up an IV drip.  Sr Siza told Vic she should be admitted to hospital to have the abscess lanced and drained.  Vic refused.  “No more hospitals.  Mommy you promised…”

Monday morning Dr Sue will come to the house and do the procedure here.

Yesterday I spoke with a wonderful young man, Marchelle.  I was privileged to have worked with Marchelle worked for a couple of years.  Unfortunately we lost a large contract and had to go our separate ways.

Marchelle has a pure heart.  He is selfless and one of the very few people I trust with every fibre of my being.  Marchelle has never let me down.

Marchelle told me he is following my blog.  He asked me whether I thought the situation is truly as bad as Hospice say it is.  I said I did.

He asked what is different this time? You have been told so many times that Vic was dying, and then she bounces back…

I started giving him the facts; Vic is in renal and hepatic failure… This time she cannot bounce back.  Organ failure is organ failure…. Talking to him I thought “Marchelle is right!  Why am I giving up this time?  I have NEVER given up on my child, and I will not give up now.” 

I walked into Vic’s room and stood in the door looking at my beautiful little girl sleeping.  I am so tired that I am allowing the negativity of the situation to get to me.  It was however only at 4:00 am that the reality of Vic’s situation re-settled around my heart like a lead jacket – I know my child has had enough.

Marchelle said he prays for us every day, and I believe him.

This morning Vic took her precious boys to pick up their report cards.  Both Danie and I said we would take them.  Vic very politely refused.  She wanted to take her boys.  She wanted to be first to see their marks.  Maybe for the last time…

She was absolutely delighted with their marks.  The boys had worked hard and deserve every mark they received.  I wonder whether the boys will remember in the years to come that their Mommy got out of her sick- bed to go with them to collect their 2012 report cards.

We are so proud of them.  They are brave kids.

On Sunday we will celebrate my birthday.  On the 24th we will have our first Christmas dinner with Lani, Tom and all their kids.  Simone still believes in Santa!  On the 25th we will go to Church.  On the 26th we will celebrate Jared’s birthday.  On the 27th we will start planning our New Year celebrations.

Forward planning is “The power of positive thinking”…

Vic and her baby Jon-Daniel..
Vic and her baby Jon-Daniel..