Dying is a lonely journey. Not only for the sick person but also for the family. As hard as we may try to avoid death, the truth is that we do a lousy job of it. Science and medicine will certainly postpone it, even staying healthy might seem to delay it, but the harsh reality is that death does not wait for you, it does not ask you, and it does not listen to you. Death ignores your feelings and wants; you do not matter to death…Death is the only certainty in life! We need to remember that our existence here is fragile, and we never have as much time with people as we think we do. If there is someone or someones out there that you love, don’t neglect that and don’t put off engaging with them because waits for no-one… Vic's Journey ended on 18 January 2013 at 10:35. She was the most courageous person in the world and has inspired thousands of people all over the world. Vic's two boys are monuments of her existence. She was an amazing mother, daughter, sister and friend. I will miss you today, tomorrow and forever my Angle Child.
It was a horrible time of our lives when Vic started going to the Pain Clinic. Her pain was out of control – or so I thought. It was actually just “preparation school” for what was yet to come…. I was mortified that she was on 600 mg of morphine, a week…. When Hospice accepted Vic onto the program in 2013, a mere 9 years later, she was already on 600mg of morphine, twice per day.
I digress.
Vic needed to consult with an anaesthetist, specialising in pain control, on a monthly basis. He would examine her and re-evaluated her pain medication. We need an original prescription for morphine. It was one of those dreadful experimental phases of her life. But, bad things lead to great things…
The Pain Clinic was situated in an élite part of our city. It was a mission to get to it and took many hours out of a day.
“If you wish to remember me, do it with a kind deed or word to someone who needs you. If you do what I have asked, I will live forever.”
This particular day Vic was in terrible pain, and it was difficult moving her from the car into the wheelchair. Her beautiful eyes were dark from pain and filled with tears. I remember thinking “How tiny and sad she looks”…
We stood waiting for the elevator. It felt like a lifetime. All I wanted to do was get Vic into the consulting rooms so she could get a booster shot of morphine. I was getting quite impatient, with the delay of the lift, when it started moving down. I noticed quite a build-up of people on the outer periphery but did not pay too much attention to them. I was totally focussed on my child’s pain and discomfort.
The door opened. Two tall men, wearing sunglasses, walked out. There was an audible gasp in the hall. The greatest statesman in the world, Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela, stood behind them. He was so tall! In total awe I moved Vic’s wheelchair back clearing the way for this amazing man.
He walked out of the lift and walked towards us. He stood in front of Vic. He stooped down, stuck out his hand, and said “Hello my dear. How are you?”
“I hope you feel better soon,” he said in his beautiful, raspy yet gentle voice.
He greeted me, still holding her little hand. I will never forget his gentle eyes. He had an aura of greatness.
Vicky and Nelson Mandela – Two great warriors locked in a moment of kinship.
“Goodbye” he said and walked away.
I know that Vic and Nelson Mandela will meet, again, in Heaven… I believe that the two brave souls will recognise one another. This time there will be enough time for them to linger and chat. The people they are it will be about their loved ones, the grace they experienced in their lives… I know they will not discuss the hardship, pain or suffering they lived…
Two incredible people… Nelson Rohihlahla Mandela and Vicky Bruce. Heroes of many… two people who made a difference, through their suffering; their bravery and inner strength.
Nelson Mandela, the Nobel Peace Prize-winning anti-apartheid leader imprisoned for decades before becoming South Africa’s first black president and an international symbol of freedom, has died at 95. He had long been battling complications from a respiratory infection.
Mandela was at the center of sweeping changes across South Africa during a tumultuous period that saw the former Dutch and English colony transition from apartheid‚ a racist class structure in place since the early 1900s that limited the rights of black South Africans and codified rule by the white Afrikaner minority‚ into an inclusive democracy that enfranchised millions of non-whites who were deprived even of their citizenship under the repressive system.
His opposition to apartheid came with a cost: Mandela spent 27 years as a political prisoner for his association with the African National Congress, a black-rights group that sometimes resorted to violence in resisting the white government. Denounced as a terrorist and communist sympathizer, Mandela spent close to two decades of his internment in a dank concrete cell on Robben Island, where the glare of the sun during his work shifts in a lime quarry permanently damaged his eyesight. An international campaign resulted in his release from prison on February 11th, 1990. Negotiations soon followed with South African President F.W. de Klerk that led to the dismantling of apartheid four years later, when South Africa held a multi-racial general election that elevated Mandela to the presidency. In 1993, he and de Klerk were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for their efforts.
As president, Mandela sought to repair rifts among South Africa’s factions and ethnicities, and he enacted a new constitution, appointed a diverse cabinet and established a Truth and Reconciliation Commission to investigate crimes committed under apartheid by the government and the ANC. He declined to run for a second five-year term, and left the presidency in 1999.
“Mandela shows what was possible when a priority is placed on human dignity, respect for law, that all people are treated equally,” President Barack Obama said while visiting South Africa over the summer. “And what Nelson Mandela also stood for is that the well-being of the country is more important than the interests of any one person. George Washington is admired because after two terms he said enough, I’m going back to being a citizen. There were no term limits, but he said I’m a citizen. I served my time. And it’s time for the next person, because that’s what democracy is about. And Mandela similarly was able to recognize that, despite how revered he was, that part of this transition process was greater than one person.”
Born to illiterate parents with distant connections to the ruling family in one of South Africa’s indigenous territories, Mandela spent his childhood tending cattle and attending a local Methodist mission school, which instilled in him a lifelong love of learning. His political awakening began when he developed an interest in his African heritage while attending a college for black students, and deepened while he studied law in the Forties, when he joined the ANC.
Mandela rose through the ranks of the ANC’s Youth League, which elected him national president in 1950. Inspired by Gandhi, he initially advocated nonviolent resistance before adopting a more militant outlook in the mid-Fifties as civil disobedience proved ineffective. He was first arrested in 1952 as part of a government crackdown on suspected communists, and he spent the next 12 years in and out of custody as he and the ANC worked to undermine apartheid. He was convicted in 1964 on charges of conspiracy to violently overthrow the government and sentenced to life in prison.
His imprisonment prompted an international outcry, and apartheid made South Africa the subject of economic sanctions and cultural boycotts in the Eighties that helped secure Mandela’s release and end apartheid.
After he left the presidency, Mandela established the Nelson Mandela Foundation to combat the spread of HIV and AIDS and advocate for rural development and the construction of schools. He became a vocal critic of the U.S. and Britain for their 2003 invasion of Iraq, and though he largely retired from the public eye in 2004, Mandela helped bring the World Cup to South Africa in 2010.
Mandela is survived by his third wife, Graça Machel, whom he married on his 80th birthday, and his ex-wife Winnie Mandela, along with three children, 16 grandchildren and numerous great-grandchildren.
South Africans from all walks of life are gearing up to celebrate Nelson Mandela International Day on Thursday, the 18th of July. This is in honour of Nelson Mandela‘s legacy, whose life and commitment to democracy has shown that everyone is useful and has potential to bring change for the good of all.
The idea of Mandela Day was inspired by Nelson Mandela at his 90th birthday celebrations in London’s Hyde Park in 2008 when he said: “It is time for new hands to lift the burdens. It is in your hands now.”
The United Nations officially declared 18 July as Nelson Mandela International Day in November 2009, recognising Mandela’s “values and his dedication to the service of humanity” and acknowledging his contribution “to the struggle for democracy internationally and the promotion of a culture of peace throughout the world”.
Play Your Part, a social network that links individuals eager to make a difference with community organisations:www.playyourpart.co.za
People around the world are challenged to spend at least 67 minutes doing good work in their communities in honour of the 67 years that Mandela gave in service and sacrifice. Please help us make the world a better place!
The overarching objective of Mandela Day is to inspire individuals to take action to help change the world for the better, and in doing so build a global movement for good. Ultimately it seeks to empower communities everywhere. “Take Action; Inspire Change; Make Every Day a Mandela Day.”
‘It is in your hands to make of our world a better one for all’ – Nelson Mandela (Photo: Mandela Day)
South Africa‘s focus this year would be “on community development and a call to everyone to use their energies, wisdom and skills to contribute towards eradicating poverty, addressing food security and reducing hunger”
An evening visit to the designated gravesite of Nelson Mandela, prayers for forgiveness to the ancestral forefathers and the tribal elders travelling to Pretoria to be with South Africa’s greatest hero is just some of the drama surrounding Nelson Mandela’s imminent passing.
The gravesite is situated about 500 metres from Mandela’s Qunu residence and is reserved for the Mandela family.
It has been reported that elders in the Mandela family visited the family gravesite in Qunu, on Tuesday evening, to plead for forgiveness from their ancestors for exhuming the bodies of family members in 2011 by Mandla – the favourite grandson. It is tribal custom that gravesites are either visited early in the morning or late in the afternoon.
The elders are furious with former president Nelson Mandela’s grandson Mandla for digging up the remains of his father Makgatho and his father’s two siblings, Makaziwe and Thembekile, and moving them to Mandela’s birthplace Mvezo. The elders have advised the family that “the Mandelas are being punished through making their beloved son (Nelson Mandela) suffer in hospital where he remains in great pain and anguish”. The elders visited the gravesite to plead for their ancestral forefather’s forgiveness and to seek advice as what to do during this difficult time.
The elders in the Mandela family have attributed Mandela’s ill health and constant hospitalization for a lung infection to the “wrath of the ancestors”.
The “wrath” was caused by the fact that Mandla Mandela, the Mvezo chief, removed the remains without consulting anyone.
Elders with knowledge of AbaThembu traditions and customs told the family that this had angered the forefathers which resulted in a curse being put on the Mandela family, by the ancestors.
City Press reported that after the meeting it was decided that elders – men only – should visit the gravesite to appeal to the ancestors to spare Mandela from suffering. Mandla did not go to the family gravesite where the elders had gone to plead with the ancestors.
It was decided at the gravesite that a delegation would visit Mandela in hospital.
“I will be going to see Tata (Father) in hospital. He cannot be alone at this hour of need. He needs AbaThembu and his family next to him,” Mtirara, an elder, said.
South Africa has such a diverse society. One of the greatest problems that face the nation in their religious walk, whatever that may be, is that the tribes revert to their dead for advice in the time of a crisis. On Sundays people will attend church and praise and worship God for hours. Six days a week, they will consult the forefathers or their spokesmen, if they have a crisis…
Superstition and witchcraft is rife in South Africa. Witchdoctors or Traditional Healers is acknowledged as a profession ….some medical aids even pay for their services. Companies have to accept a “sick note” from a Traditional Healer, who has no formal medical training.
Photo Credit: goafrica.about.com
Outside the Heart Hospital in Pretoria thousands of people have gathered singing hymns and burning candles in prayer for our beloved Madiba. Elsewhere the bones are being cast and rituals to appease the forefathers are being performed.
In the words of Mandla Mandela “At the end of the day, my grandfather’s fate, like that of everyone else, lies with God and our ancestors”
The prayer/request is the same. “Please end Madiba’s suffering. Allow him to die the way he lived…..with dignity.”
Why is it that at the time of death arguments and strife will prevail?
Whilst one of the world’s greatest statesmen, Nelson Mandela, is fighting for his life – his family is bickering… They are bickering about the burial site of the Rainbow Nation’s Icon, their father and grandfather.
The family are torn between Nelson Mandela’s favorite grandson Mandla, who wants him buried at his Mvezo birthplace, and the rest of the family, who feel that his wish to be buried next to his children should be respected.
The chieftain had moved the remains of his father Makgatho, who died of an Aids-related illness in 2005; his aunt Makaziwe, who died in 1948 at only nine months; and uncle Thembekile, who was killed in a car accident in 1969, to Mvezo. This is making it impossible for Madiba to be buried next to his children because they are buried in Mvezo. Mandela is going to be buried in Qunu. . Mvezo is the birthplace and the traditional home of the Mandelas, and thereby lies its historic and heritage significance. Qunu is the rural home of Nelson Mandela.
So whilst this brave warrior is edging closer to death his family have to make decisions that may rip the family apart.
“Beyond this place of wrath and tearsLooms but the Horror of the Shade,And yet the menace of the yearsFinds, and shall find, me unafraid.”
“The passage towards death is a difficult journey,” an ANC activist told Channel 4 News. “This country needs to celebrate his life, rather than let his death become a source of conflict. There is thing that we all unite on: all of us love Mandela. This nation will sink into deep mourning when he finally leaves us, no matter how prepared we think we might have been.”
Will the Mandela family unite in this time of sorrow or will they bring dishonour to this icon’s name?
In the meantime, South Africans are united in prayer. United in our desire for this amazing man to be allowed to die with dignity. That his family will behave with dignity and decorum…. Make Nelson Mandela proud….
So deep is the affection in South Africa for the country’s first black President, Nelson Mandela, that the thought of his passing seems incomprehensible.
But deep down the millions who adore him know that that day is inevitable.
Following a string of health scares in the recent past, South Africans are beginning to come to terms with the mortality of their 94-year-old icon.
Still, this in an uncomfortable topic here.
Somadoda Fikeni, head of the South African Heritage Resources Agency (Sahra), puts it this way: “We no longer have an icon on his level, not only here in South Africa but in the world.
“People see him as the antidote to the current social ills we are faced with. That is why people are still holding on to him.”
According to Isintu – traditional South African culture – the very sick do not die unless the family ‘releases’ them spiritually”
South Africans see Mr Mandela as the glue that is holding the country together and believe that the social challenges of crime, poverty, corruption and unemployment can only be overcome if they have him to inspire the country’s leaders to greatness.
It might be too high an aspiration to place on one individual, but in the eyes of many here, Mr Mandela is no mere individual.
Nevertheless, for the first time it seems that the tone surrounding Mr Mandela’s increasingly frail health is beginning to change.
The Sunday Times newspaper at the weekend led with the headline: “It’s time to let him go.”
A blunt phrase bound to cause discomfort for the family and indeed many others in South Africa.
The usual response to Nelson Mandela’s illnesses is a call to prayer
But these were not the words of someone who is nonchalant about what Mr Mandela represents to this country. These were the words of a dear friend and fellow Robben Island prisoner, Andrew Mlangeni, upon hearing that Mr Mandela had again been admitted to hospital.
“The family must release him so that God may have his own way with him… once the family releases him, the people of South Africa will follow,” Mr Mlangeni was quoted as saying.
Many are fully aware of Mr Mandela’s poor health and advanced age, but almost in the same breath they say they want him to live for many more years.
It’s an extraordinary relationship, an impossible love.
It may be that squabbling within his family is troubling him and that needs to be addressed while he is still here. He may not be well received on the other side until these issues have been resolved”
At dinner tables South Africans talk about the Nobel Laureate’s need to rest but none utter the phrase that could change it all: “Siyakukhulula tata” – Xhosa for “We release you, father”.
According to Isintu – traditional South African culture – the very sick do not die unless the family “releases” them spiritually – only then will they be at peace in surrendering to death.
Culturally, this practice is seen as “permission” to die and this permission needs to be given by the family; it is reassurance from loved ones that they will be fine.
Mr Fikeni says that the other reason a person fights death is because they have unfinished business.
“It may be that squabbling within his family is troubling him and that needs to be addressed while he is still here. He may not be well received on the other side until these issues have been resolved.”
This may be a reference to a recent court case which has seen an attempt by Mr Mandela’s daughters, Makaziwe and Zenani, to oust three of his aides from companies linked to him.
It is not easy to get people to speak about Mr Mandela’s passing.
The BBC contacted three other cultural experts who refused to comment for fear of a backlash from the family or indeed fellow South Africans.
The press has been less fearful. Local and international media have reported on his four hospital visits since late last year. They camp outside hospitals for days eager to get an update on his health.
During the periods of his illness, the common theme in headlines is to call on South Africans to pray for his speedy recovery – further testimony that many are not ready to lose him.
But Mr Mandela’s visits to hospital have become lengthier and his care more specialised.
President Jacob Zuma and a number of top officials from the governing African National Congress visited him at his Houghton home in Johannesburg shortly after his last release in April. Mr Mandela was seen sitting on a beige couch with a blanket on his legs.
He had a blank expression on his face. On his cheeks, the marks of where a hospital oxygen mask had been. The images were widely criticised.
This time around all we know is that he is in intensive care, and he is being treated for a recurring lung infection.
The presidency is juggling the need to inform South Africans and the world, while respecting the family’s request for privacy. It is an unenviable task.
“The best way to honour him will be to carry on his values of tolerance and conversation”
Anyone who has loved a father or grandfather can attest to wanting that person to live forever – people here see Mr Mandela as the greatest father there ever was.
He after all averted civil war, many South Africans believe, when he called on black and white people to reconcile amid marked racial tension, a time when South Africa seemed on the brink of collapse, destined to descend into anarchy like so many fellow African countries.
But the country still faces division; racism rears its head every so often, the ANC is more divided now than it has ever been.
A culture of tribalism is slowly creeping into the fibre of the new South Africa – some experts say this is due to a lack of firm leadership from the liberation movement.
These divisions are forcing South Africans to take a closer look at Nelson Mandela’s dream of the “rainbow nation” and ask whether it is still alive – and whether it will live on after him.
Some still believe South Africa can surmount its challenges.
“It’s a shared idea that what we have now is better than what he had in the past. All we need to do is hold on to this shared vision of a better South Africa,” says political analyst, Ralph Mathekga.
Fears that Mr Mandela’s passing will lead to anarchy are “unrealistic”, he says, adding that South Africans need to focus on how they can continue the legacy.
“The best way to honour him will be to carry on his values of tolerance and conversation,” says Mr Mathekga.
“I am fundamentally an optimist. Whether that comes from nature or nurture, I cannot say. Part of being optimistic is keeping one’s head pointed toward the sun, one’s feet moving forward. There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair. That way lays defeat and death.”
― Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom: Autobiography of Nelson Mandela
Today, in South Africa, Gracia Machel, is sitting vigil next to her beloved husband’s bed. I have no doubt that she is holding his hand, waiting, praying… Maybe she too feels that the time has come for Madiba to keep his head pointed to the sun and his feet moving forward to eternal peace and rest.
I wonder whether Madiba fears death? I have no doubt that he has fears for his family, his country… He once said “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
In this morning Sunday Times Newspaper the headline was “It’s Time to let him go”. http://www.timeslive.co.za/sundaytimes/ It is an appeal by Andrew Mlangeni, a longtime friend of Nelson Mandela, to his family. No doubt it will be controversial and elicit a lot of discussion and criticism.
I agree with Andrew Mlangeni, it is time to let Madiba go… There can be very little joy in his life. This man has suffered so much in his life – it is time for his suffering to come to an end.
“There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere, and many of us will have to pass through the valley of the shadow of death again and again before we reach the mountaintop of our desires.” Nelson Mandela
Spokesperson Mac Maharaj said Mandela’s situation was serious but stable.
Maharaj told eNCA on Saturday that doctors had confirmed Mandela was breathing on his own.
“That is a good sign, I think,” Maharaj said.
“This morning at about 1.30am his condition deteriorated and he was transferred to a Pretoria hospital,” presidency spokesperson Mac Maharaj said in a statement.
“He remains in a serious but stable condition.”
Maharaj said doctors were doing everything they could to make Mandela “better and comfortable”.
“President Jacob Zuma, on behalf ofgovernment and the nation, wishes Madiba a speedy recovery and requests the media and the public to respect the privacy of Madiba and his family,” Maharaj said.
Mandela’s wife, Graca Machel, has been by his side since being admitted tohospital.
On April 6, Mandela was discharged fromhospital after spending nine days receiving treatment for a recurring lung infection. The Nobel Peace Prize laureate has suffered lung ailments before and has been in and out ofhospital.
When the world’s greatest statesman is admitted to a hospital at 1.30 in the morning he is very ill… If his wife has not left his bedside – he is very ill… If the doctors are making him comfortable – he is very ill…
Nelson Mandela has a world-class medical team with world-class equipment in his Houghton home… For him to be admitted to a hospital in the early hours of the morning says it all…
I love and admire Nelson Mandela. I pray that his suffering will end. I pray for stability in my country when he dies. I pray that the lessons he taught the world will be remembered. I pray that his children and the country will bring honour to his legacy after his passing…
I am starting to forget Vic’s pain, the relentless nausea, intestinal obstructions, cramping. I have blocked all the excursions to doctors, Radiology and Pathology Departments…the countless “Bad News” meeting with doctors. I now focus on my longing for her. The good and funny times…
I am unable to remain angry for a long time. Well, at least with people I love. I forgive easily. Life is too short, and negative energy drains me. Danie, my husband, believes I have a split personality. If, or rather when we have an argument, I will say what I want to say. I play the ball and not the man. I don’t get personal nor do I generalise. Within minutes of the argument I would have forgotten I am angry and start chatting again as if nothing ever happened. Danie will sulk and stay angry for days…
When I have been harmed by malicious people, I forget. They no longer “exist” in my life, but I don’t walk around with anger in me. I will remain civil. I just don’t care anymore.
The bad thing about this wonderful brain of mine is that it also blocks out the good parts of bad memories… As I no longer have a daughter to cure I Googled my own “symptoms” and found the following information http://io9.com/5952297/two-ways-to-forget-bad-memories-according-to-a-new-scientific-study “One mechanism, directsuppression, disengages episodic retrieval through the systemic inhibition of hippocampal processing that originates from right dorsolateral prefrontal cortex (PFC). The opposite mechanism, thought substitution, instead engages retrieval processes to occupy the limited focus of awareness with a substitute memory. It is mediated by interactions between left caudal and midventrolateral PFC that support the selective retrieval of substitutes in the context of prepotent, unwanted memories.”
Specifically, individuals could remember what caused the event, but were able to forget what happened and how it made them feel. Co-author Professor MacLeod said: ‘The capacity to engage in this kind of intentional forgetting may be critical to our ability to maintain coherent images about who we are and what we are like.’
In one of my posts, https://tersiaburger.com/2013/05/25/most-influential-blogger-award/, I wrote that I would like to meet Nelson Mandela. A blogger friend commented on it and it triggered something in my mind. I HAVE met Nelson Mandela. I should have articulated it differently – I should have said I would like to talk to him.
It was a horrible time of our lives when Vic started going to the Pain Clinic. Her pain was out of control – or so I thought. It was actually just “preparation school” for what was yet to come…. I was mortified that she was on 600 mg of morphine, a week…. When Hospice accepted Vic onto the program, she was already on 600mg of morphine, twice per day.
I digress.
Vic needed to consult with an anaesthetist, specialising in pain control, on a monthly basis to examined, her pain evaluated and to get a new prescription for the morphine. It was one of those dreadful experimental phases of her life. But, bad things lead to great things…
The Pain Clinic was in an élite part of our city. It was a schlep to get to it and took hours out of a day.
This particular day Vic was in terrible pain, and it was difficult moving her from the car into the wheelchair. Her beautiful eyes were dark from pain and filled with tears. I remember thinking “How tiny and sad she looks”…
We stood at the elevator for what felt like a lifetime. All I wanted to do was get Vic into the consulting rooms so she could get an injection for pain… I was getting quite impatient with the delay of the lift when it started moving down. I noticed quite a build-up of people on the outer periphery but did not pay too much attention to it.
The door opened. Two tall men, wearing sunglasses, walked out. There was an audible gasp in the hall. The greatest statesman in the world, Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela, stood behind them. He was so tall!
In total awe I moved Vic’s wheelchair back clearing the way for this amazing man.
He walked out of the lift and came towards us. He stood in front of Vic, stuck out his hand, and said “Hello my dear. How are you?”
“I hope you feel better soon,” he said in his beautiful, raspy yet gentle voice.
He greeted me, still holding her hand. I will never forget his gentle eyes. He had an aura of greatness. Two great warriors were locked in a moment of kinship.
“Goodbye” he said and walked away.
Death is however closing in on this amazing man. This year, by the Grace of God, our country and the rest of the world will celebrate this great man’s 95th birthday. Given his poor health and advanced age, it is to be expected that he will die not too far in the future. It will be a sad day for South Africa and the rest of the world.
I know that he will meet Vic again in Heaven. I believe that the two brave souls will recognise one another. This time there will be enough time for them to linger and chat. The people they are- it will be about their loved ones, the grace they experienced in their lives… I know they will not discuss the hardship, pain or suffering.
Two incredible people… Nelson Rohihlahla Mandela and Vicky Bruce. Hero’s of many… two people who have made a difference, lead by example.
“Oh Mr President, my mom is your biggest fan ever…”
Thank you so much to http://theseeker57.wordpress.com and my dear friend Shaun @ prayingforoneday for this wonderful award. It is an honour to be nominated by fellow bloggers that I follow and greatly admire.
I would like to dedicate this award to my beautiful child whose bravery and suffering have influenced hundreds of people all over the world. Vic was the person who influenced me most in my life. This award is for you Angel Child.
THE RULES:
1-Display the award logo on your blog.
2-Link back to the person who nominated you.
3-Answer 7 questions.
4-Nominate ( no limit of nominations ) other bloggers for this award and link back to them.
5-Notify those bloggers of the award requirements.
The 7 Questions (Can you all please answer the same questions) Thanks
THE 7 QUESTIONS:
1-If you could create your planet what would it look like? – no hunger, hardship or war.
2-If you could visit one nation you have never visited before, what nation would that be? – Russia – It is on my bucket-list.
3-Have you ever taken a long distance train trip? – No,
4-What is something you would collectively change about humanity? – Dishonesty, incompetence and Greed,
On the 26th of December 1996 Jared Colin Sadie was born. He was a beautiful, healthy baby boy. I cried with joy when I first saw him and that first “rush of love” hit me.
Baby Jared
Vic fell pregnant 6 weeks after she got married. When the kids asked us whether they could get married I had a LONG talk to them about NOT having babies. They both said “We know…” I explained the dangers of passing the Osteogenesis gene onto a next generation of innocent children.
I will never forget that dreadful Sunday night when they told us that Vic was pregnant. My heart stopped. I sobbed in the shower. For the first time in her life I feared for Vic’s life.
Vicky refused flat out to have an abortion. She said the baby a gift from God. And so he was….
Jared is an amazing young man. According to our government he is now old enough to vote, get his learners licence for a motor bike and work… I look at him and I see a little boy who was going to be a stuntman; a young child helping his Mommy cook; get out of bed; walk down stairs…
Both Jared and Jon-Daniel are loving, compassionate monuments of Vic love and mothering.
Jared is a “computer nerd” with a wonderful personality. He has a keen sense of humour and wise beyond his years. He is fiercely protective of his mother. A very dear Saudi friend of mine says Jared has a “white heart”. (Albak Abyad” an Egyptian expression that indicates a person with a good heart. It’s literal translation to English is “You have a white heart” as opposed to being a bad person with a black heart).
Vic, once again, managed to get out of bed. She was falling asleep in her chair, but managed to visit with most of the guests who came, ate something and left. Laughter and joy reverberated through the house. Vic was the proud mother. It was a happy home for the day…
The boys have a hard time coming to terms with the stage that Vic’s illness is at. Jared’s first words when he comes back into the house after Siza leaves is “What did Hospice say?”. He researches every symptom and sends me links on liver and renal failure. He is an expert on Osteogenesis Imperfecta and was 9 years old when he spoke about his Mommy at a Public Speaking lesson at school. The subject was “My Hero“. We all expected him to speak of Nelson Mandela, but he chose to speak about his Mom. (His brother followed suit two years later)
He said that his mom is his hero because despite the fact that she is so ill she still looks after them…
Jared and his Mommy
Jared had a wonderful 16th birthday. He was absolutely thrilled with the Docking Station Vic had bought for him. As soon as he gets his license we will buy him a motorbike.
She ain’t heavy – she is my mother
Yesterday was a milestone in Vic’s life. I fear it may be the last she will reach. It is clear that Italy will not be possible.
I was so tired last night that I slept through Vic’s 23:31 and 03:00 “Vomiting” text messages…. Vic refuses to use the intercom! She feels it is “disrespectful”.
Mother and Son
As much as Vic resents the fact I may have to bring in a night nurse.
I remember Vic’s 16th as if it was yesterday. Now she is a grown woman with two teenage sons – nearing the end of her tenure on earth
Why is it that at the time of death arguments and strife will prevail?
“I am fundamentally an optimist. Whether that comes from nature or nurture, I cannot say. Part of being optimistic is keeping one’s head pointed toward the sun, one’s feet moving forward. There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair. That way lays defeat and death.”
Vic's Final Journey 