Vic has had an absolutely amazing week. Her pain has been beautifully controlled. We have had severe bouts of vomiting and cramping but compared to a month ago – it was a walk in the park!
The Jurnista is definitely working! I have an appointment with Prof Froehlich on Tuesday, the 14th of August, and she will then give me feedback on Hospice. I was completely prepared to tell her I don’t need Hospice on any level anymore. Vic’s pain is so well under control that I can handle her care with no assistance or problems at all.
My baby sister (she is only 55 years old) Lorraine, spent some time with us over the long weekend in-between umpiring at the South African National Netball Tournament. She was amazed at how well Vic looked. (Remember she last saw Vic when she fell at the end of June). Vic has been amazing. This week she has been far more mobile. She started thinking (arguing) about driving again….. The first time in months!
This morning Vic went to breakfast with her friend Angela. She was so excited.
Two hours later Vic literally shuffled into the house. “Mommy I broke my back!”
My heart stopped.
On a certain level I am angry. I am angry that Vic wasn’t more careful. I am angry that I slipped into a false sense of security! I am angry that the Jurnista is masking the pain so well that Vic is pushing her body’s boundaries.
Conclusion: Vic is still a very sick little girl. The fact that her pain is better controlled does not mean that she is well. If any of us had spent the amount of time vomiting and cramping that she has this week we would be in bed hooked up to an IV and praying for death. This week Vic’s amazing resilience again amazed me. She is strong beyond comprehension!
My heart bleeds for her that her fragile body has once again failed her incredible will to live. It is clear that she is merely holding onto life, as she knows it, with her fingertips……
I will go to the meeting with Prof Froehlich and continue my fight for Hospice to become involved. Vic will never function on any level again. She is confined to bed relying on medication to keep her sane. Maybe she will have a good couple of days here or there but her sentence has not been commuted.
I often read about a child that had been ill for a long time and the parent being in denial. Death is never discussed. I know it may take months or even years for Vic to die. Maybe, with a bit of luck, I will die before she does. But when either one of us dies there will be nothing unspoken. Vic and I talk a lot. We talk about many things. If ever I think of something that I am not certain of, I ask her immediately.
I have fully accepted that Vicky is always walking the tightrope even when she is doing great. It is the nature of the beast and the beast can take you by surprise.
We have spoken about heaven and what a peaceful, healthy place it will be. We often speak about meeting again in heaven and Vic always says she is not scared of dying. Vicky feels terrible about leaving us behind. She worries about leaving us all behind. She worries about how sad we will be. I wish I knew what to say to truly put her mind at peace and to let her “let go”…
It was very difficult to first raise the question of death. It started approximately 8 years ago with a tentative “Sweetie, is all your paperwork in order before you have this surgery?” and progressed to discussing and shopping for 18th birthday gifts, Confirmation bibles and 21st Birthday Keys. It was strangely “pleasant” going shopping with Vic. I knew that her mind was at ease having done the shopping. Maybe she will be around for these milestone events. Maybe not….. But Vic is prepared. She is far more prepared than I am. She has written letters to be read after her death. She has “special events” cards that I will give the boys when the occasion or need arises.
To arrive at the point, where we are, has been hell! No matter what age your child is, when you first find out that your child is terminally ill, your initial instinct is to shelter the child. (Regardless of the child’s age – the child will always remain the child!!) The parent’s first instinct is to leave no stone unturned. You watch the child like a hawk, looking for small signs of improvement or deterioration, looking for symptoms, hoping against all hope that the doctor made a mistake!
I analyze every ache and pain, hoping that the stomach cramps are merely side effects of the medication. I know when Vic is heading for a UTI; I know how her body reacts to different medications. Unfortunately there is no “Dummy’s Guide for the Parents of a Terminally ill Child”.
Professional counselling is available at a terrible cost. By the time your child is diagnosed or rather sentenced to terminal illness, hundreds and hundreds of thousands of rands has been spent on medical bills. Within two months of the new medical year the medical aid is exhausted….. The medication and treatment cannot stop regardless of the claimable amount left on the medical aid limits… I have said it before – morphine or counselling???? No contest! Morphine wins hands down. Now in a civilized world Hospice should enter the picture at this stage….. Unfortunately we live in South Africa and Vic does not have AIDS or cancer. I pray that she will find the peace that I know she does not have.
No-one in the world can live in so much pain for so long!
It has to end sometime.
What are the different types of pain medication options?
Different strokes for different folk… What pain medication works for one type of pain does not work for a different type of pain. Simple example: – Morphine does not relieve toothache or headaches….. It relieves bone pain.
Medicines can often help control chronic pain. Many different drugs, both prescription and non-prescription, are used to treat chronic pain. All these medicines can cause side effects and should be taken exactly as they are prescribed. In some cases, it may take several weeks before medicines work to reduce pain. To avoid dangerous drug interactions, tell your doctor all the medicines you are taking (including herbal and other complementary medicines).
Medication Choices
You will likely be given medicines that cause the fewest side effects first (such as acetaminophen) to treat chronic pain. The dose will be increased or the medicines will be changed as needed. Medicines used to treat chronic pain include the following:
Recommended Related to Pain Management
Other therapies that may be used to treat chronic pain include:
Vic’s pain medication as at 4.8.2012 (Transcribed from medication received from Pain Clinic
| TABLET | NO OF TABLETS | PER DAY |
| TRAMADOL 50MG | 4 | 3 TIMES PER DAY |
| AUSTRELL PARACETAMOL 500MG | 2 | 3 TIMES PER DAY |
| STILPAYNE | 2 | 3 TIMES PER DAY |
| CYMBALTA 60 | 2 | 1 TIMES PER DAY |
| NEURONTIN 100MG | 6 | 3 TIMES PER DAY |
| SRM RHOTARD 400MG (MORPHINE) | 2 TIMES PER DAY | |
| ELTROXIN .1MG | 1 | IN MORNING |
| BACTRIM | 1 | 3 X PER DAY |
| LOSEC 20MG | 1 | IN MORNING |
| STEMITIL 5MG | 1 | 2 TIMES PER DAY |
| MORPHINE SYRUP | 25MG/5ML | AS NEEDED |
| JURNISTA 4MG | 1 | 1 TIMES PER DAY |
| PANAFORTE | 1 | 2 TIMES PER DAY |
| DEGRONOL | 2 | 2 TIMES PER DAY |
This is scary. The amount of opioids Vic takes would certainly kill most people. Is Vic an addict? Certainly not!!
Opioids work by mimicking the body’s natural painkillers known as endorphins. They control pain by blocking pain messages to the brain. Because morphine is an opioid, some people worry about becoming addicted. When you take an opioid to control pain, it is unlikely that you will become addicted. The body uses the drug to control pain, not to give you a ‘high’ http://cancerhelp.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/treatment/cancer-drugs/morphine
I read a heart rendering account of chronic pain and the fear of being treated as an addict written by Tracy Rydzy, a Licensed Social Worker. http://ohwhatapain.wordpress.com/being-treated-like-an-addict/ Tracy writes a heart rendering blog on chronic pain and prejudge that she faces every day. Tracy writes: “I may be on medication, but I am intelligent and I know what is going on. Please understand that I didn’t choose this for myself. I don’t want these damn pills, but I have no other choice right now as I have exhausted my other options for pain relief. Don’t hold my condition against me. I understand the pen is mightier than the sword, so I can’t even ask to change dosages, I can’t request anything different, I certainly can’t be rude in any way (regardless of how you treat me) and I can’t question you because you hold my ability to move and get out of bed in your little prescription pad.”
We are so fortunate that we have access to The Pain Clinic run by very sympathetic professionals. We do not have a problem getting a prescription for the medication. Our problem lies in the fact that from time to time the pharmacy of the Helen Joseph Clinic runs out of Morphine both in tablet or syrup form. Sometimes we are able to get a private script from the Pain Clinic and other times I have to go back the next day, sit in a queue again, get the script and then get it filled privately. Try and get 4.2 litres of morphine syrup from a pharmacy…. Sometimes I am busy and then find it easier to pay a doctor for an appointment to get a script. We may get a script for 1 litre….
Fortunately Vic’s eldest sister is a pharmacist and we are known to the staff at that particular pharmacy. The times we have tried to use other pharmacies (because they do not have morphine in stock) we are treated with suspicion.
“Many people confuse physical dependence, which is the occurrence of withdrawal when the drug is stopped, with addiction. Withdrawal is a physical phenomenon that means that the body has adapted to the drug in such a way that a “rebound” occurs when the drug is suddenly stopped. The kind of symptoms that occur include rapid pulse, sweating, nausea and vomiting, diarrhoea, runny nose, “gooseflesh,” and anxiety. All people who take opioids for a period of time can potentially have this withdrawal syndrome if the drug is stopped or the dose is suddenly lowered. This is not a problem as long as it is prevented by avoiding sudden reductions in the dose.
Physical dependence is entirely different from addiction. Addiction is defined by a loss of control over the drug, compulsive use of the drug, and continued use of the drug even if it is harming the person or others. People who become addicted often deny that they have a problem, even as they desperately try to maintain the supply of the drug.
Addiction is a “bio psychosocial” disease. This means that most people who become addicted to drugs are probably predisposed (it is in the genes) but only develop the problem if they have access to the drug and take it at a time and in a way that leaves them vulnerable. A very large experience in the treatment of patients with chronic pain indicates that the risk of addiction among people with no prior history of substance abuse who are given an opioid for pain is very low. The history of substance abuse doesn’t mean that a patient should never get an opioid for pain, but does suggest that the doctor must be very cautious when prescribing and monitoring this therapy.
People with chronic pain should understand the difference between physical dependence and addiction. Unreasonable fears about addiction should not be the reason that doctors refuse this therapy or patients refuse to take it.
Tolerance to opioid drugs occurs but is seldom a clinical problem. Tolerance means that taking the drug changes the body in such a way that the drug loses its effect over time. If the effect that is lost is a side effect, like sleepiness, tolerance is a good thing. If the effect is pain relief, tolerance is a problem. Fortunately, a very large experience indicates that most patients can reach a favorable balance between pain relief and side effects then stabilize at this dose for a long period of time. If doses need to be increased because pain returns, it is more commonly due to worsening of the painful disease than it is to tolerance. “
Vic is “embarrassed” the amount of medication she needs to take to control her pain. She is oversensitive to the point of being paranoid about being called an addict.
Is my child an addict? Hell no!! Does it worry me that she needs increasing amounts of medication to handle the pain associated with the deterioration of her little body? Hell no!! Whatever it takes for one pain-free moment in her little life! Tracy to you and all the other chronic pain sufferers out there – I wish you all a sympathetic doctor, nurse and pharmacist!
I have become accustomed to the ICU at the Donald Gordon Hospital. DGH has one of the best Intensive Care Units in the country. There are always 3 ICU doctors on duty and well as a HIGHLY skilled Head of Department. No full-time doctors or pain specialists in the Union’s ICU.
The difference is that the DGH is a private teaching Hospital and does not handle trauma patients. Only critically ill patients are admitted to the Donald Gordon ICU. The staff are all ICU specialists. Ok, I must admit that they also know Vic very, very well. For the past 7 years they kept Vic alive. Time and time again she has amazed and astounded them by surviving every conceivable Super Bug, ARDS (Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome), sepsis, organ failure… they know exactly how her body reacts to pain and how she reacts to different drugs. The doctors that work in the ICU do work at the Pain Clinic. They understand the benefits of post operation Ketamine Infusions.
Over the years Vic has spent months and months in the DGH ICU…
When Vic was admitted to ICU at the DGH the last time, one of the doctors said that if she ever decided to give up her fight to live, he would not fight for her. He knows what she has been through.
This past weekend I spend a lot of time in the Union’s ICU. More time than I have ever been allowed to spend in the DGH’s ICU.
Vic, on Sunday morning, was like a wild animal caught in a trap. Her eyes were crazy. Vic’s pain levels were horrific and the ICU staff did not know how to handle it. On Saturday night after the surgery I was not allowed to stay with her, despite the doctor’s instruction to “Allow the mother to stay”. I had to sit in the “Comfort Room”. It was so cold in there! The air-conditioning was turned down to near freezing levels. I was so cold that the bones in my body ached. At 03:00 I decided to go home. I was not allowed to stay with Vic and at that stage she was sleeping peacefully.
I was woken just after 07:00 by the ICU staff asking me to come to the hospital…
My well behaved, docile child had sworn at her nurse. She was insane with pain. Whilst I was telling them what medication she needed to control her pain (yes that is correct) I was trying to calm her down. I made the mistake of telling her to calm down… That was an epic mistake!!!
We eventually managed to get her pain under control and then the staff asked me to stay… I basically left ICU when Vic was discharged into the ward Monday afternoon …
Sitting next to Vic’s bed I looked around and noted that almost 70% of the ICU patients were on life support. In the one corner there was a young man. I would imagine that he was in his mid-thirties. “Was” is correct. He was declared brain dead yesterday morning. By now his organs may have been harvested. Maybe not. What I am sure of is that his bed is no longer occupied by his imposing body. Even in the claws of death he had an imposing physique and a presence. Yet he had no visitors. Not a single soul came to see him… until yesterday morning when his next of kin were called in and given the news. One by one they traipsed in, spent a couple of minutes (at most) next to his bed, wiped some tears and walked out… He was left to die alone.
Other patients had hoards of visitors – each spending a couple of minutes with their loved one and then returning to the cold passages to chat to old friends or other family. The patient oblivious to their tears and worried faces… battling each “breath” of the artificial lungs… Dialysis machines cleaning their kidneys… blood pressure and heart rate artificially manipulated by chemicals. Looking at their vitals one would never guess the life-and-death battle raging in their bloated bodies.
I have a Living Will. I do not want to be kept alive artificially. I am absolutely certain about it. I cannot and will not be convinced otherwise. People should be allowed to die with some dignity. We all live to die…it is as certain as paying taxes.
What is the purpose of a life with debilitating pain??? I do not want to put my family through it – ever!! Oh I know my family will miss me. I know I am loved. I however know that we live to die. I look forward to dying. I look forward to what I have strived for all my life. Peace, no responsibilities, quiet… I know that I will go to Heaven. I have already been to hell. I live hell every day.
If I had been ill I could have handled it. I would quietly have found a way of leaving it behind. To stand next to your child’s bed, helpless, hope less and hopeless is the worst situation any parent ever should have to go through.
So tonight I ask God again: PLEASE give me the pain. Allow Vicky to have some quality of life. Allow her a life. Allow her to be loved. Allow her to love unconditionally and without fear. Please let her be able to run… give her time on a beach; allow her to turn her face into the sun. PLEASE let her have a normal life, a job, independence or end this journey.
On Monday afternoon Vic was discharged from ICU to the ward. I asked the doctor to let Vic come home straight out of ICU. I can take better care of her at home than they can do in hospital. Vic is home and last night was a night out of hell. She was so ill, vomiting all night. She could not keep her medication down. No sooner did she take a sip or water or it just came spewing out. Pain control was absolutely out of the question.
Today I received a message from the Pain Clinic that the Hospice application motivation was underway. Hopefully we will have an answer by next week. If only I could give Vic meds intravenously it would be so much better.
Vic also needs physiological support/guidance in making peace with her situation. From her moments of madness in ICU it became clear to me that Vic has some deep-seated resentments and a lot of anger in her. Vic needs to make peace with her journey and the trip itinerary.
But more about our family conference and Vic’s emotional battle tomorrow. It is time for her medication and I need to sleep.
This weekend I saw raw resentment towards me in my little girl’s eyes.
We checked into Hospital on Saturday morning at 08:00. Vic was seriously peeved that she did not get a private room as per the doctor’s instruction. Just to aggravate the situation the lady in the opposite bed was truly strange… She was loud and used bad language. She kept arguing with her husband, she would tell him to make a sexual departure, he would storm out of the room and she would shout obscenities at him.
Then she started telling us about this wonderful neurosurgeon that she works for. She and Vic ended up comparing back-op war wounds … Of course Vic won the contest hands down! Vic then said that she had decided no more surgeries…wow! Did this set the neighbour off! She took the moral high-ground and started telling us that we must have faith and God will heal Vic. Vic was in hospital because we keep asking God to heal her. We should only ask once and then have faith…
She laid hands on Vic when I went downstairs for a cup of tea. I would never have allowed it!!
Please don’t misunderstand me – I have nothing against religion. Religion is important. I do have a problem with a person who curses and swears and behaves in the most appalling manner and then think they can cure my child. Jared said to me today “Oumie, I don’t want to be a Christian like that …”
I do not stand in judgement of anyone. It is not for me to judge. I do have a problem with the ultra-religious people who judge others…surely that is the biggest sin? As my friend Marlene used to say “Who died that you think you became God?” If you are a Christian then surely you must believe that the blood of Jesus was spilt for ALL sinners and not only a select, elite group of Christians. If you disapprove of someone’s lifestyle or actions, condemn the sin and not the person…
People who claim to be “deeply religious” have turned their backs on their loved ones because of a lifestyle choice they made. They will not allow their own sons and daughters into their homes because they disapprove of the lifestyle choice. Yes, our loved ones make decisions that we do not condone or support but does that give us the right to turn our backs on them because of that? Surely love is unconditional? Through thick and thin?
I digress… Immediately after laying hands on Vic the lady swore at her son and made a racist remark… I suppose the Jesus she proclaims only died for white South Africans…
Jared sat at hospital with us all day Saturday. He is old enough to want to do it! That young man adores his Mommy. Jon-Daniel copes in a different way. He went to a private coaching cricket lesson at the Club in the morning and then went to Nathan, his best friend. Jon-Daniel makes Vic laugh. Jared makes Vic coffee.
Two different boys with two different ways of coping and two different ways of expressing their love. Yet united in their love and despair for their mother.
Vic ended up going into theatre just before 19:00 Saturday night…she was starving!! Poor little poppet! I was really annoyed that we had to wait from 10:00 to 19:00 to see the inside of the theatre. HOWEVER, this is where there is a twist in the tale…a second surgeon appeared in the waiting area and looked at the x-rays. He was most impressed by the complexity of the fracture…He is a humerus specialist who has in-depth knowledge and experience with Osteogenesis Imperfecta! I must add that he too had never had an OI patient as old as Vic. So Vic had two specialists operating on her little arm.
By 21:15 the anaesthetist came through to tell me the operation went well and that he was sending Vic to ICU – mainly because they are petrified of the high dosages of opiates that Vic is on and how it may counteract with the medication that Vic’s on.
History was made Saturday. A doctor wrote on Vic’s file “Mother of patient to stay with her”! In the past doctors would make U-turns in the passages to avoid me and here is this wonderful man telling the ICU staff “This mother must stay”. What a bright and intelligent young man he is even if he charged double medical aid rates.
Vic was however extremely angry with me because she was sent to ICU. Vic is petrified of ICU and does not appreciate that her pain control is so much better in there than in a ward. She cannot be given the amount of opiates that she needs, for pain control, out of ICU.
I am delighted as I told the anaesthetist that the Jurnista is new and although I did not give her one Friday night as I was scared that it may adversely affect the anaesthetic and post-op pain control. (Thank you Google for the fact sheet). When he said that it is better for her to go to ICU all Vic kept saying was “No Mommy, No Mommy!” She cried. I saw the resentment in her dark, sad eyes when she looked at me.
For once I did not care. I love my child and I will do anything and everything to spare her pain.
I have to find out which anaesthetic they used. The last two procedures at the Union resulted in terrible aggression in Vic. Vicky is normally a meek and mild little soul but boy, did she rip into me and her ICU sister. She told me exactly what she did and did not think of me. It was a horrific experience. I hope and pray that it was the anaesthetic and not actual resentment towards me that triggered her hate speech.
Vic ended up spending 2.5 days in ICU. I never left her side but to go shower at home and take Jared to the urologist this morning. The ICU at a standard hospital is actually not equipped to handle someone as ill as Vic and in such a pain control programme. I also think they were too scared to be left alone with her after the tongue-lashing she gave them whilst I was showering on Sunday morning.
Well this is now behind us. We will hope and pray that the sepsis in Vic’s abdomen and spine will not attack the pins in her arm. That Vicky will get better and enjoy some Jurnista quality of life!
I want to blog on ICU’s and what we subject our loved ones to next. I am just too tired and emotionally drained to even attempt it today.
Yesterday we did not see the GP for Vic’s arm – she was just too exhausted to get out of bed.
We arrived at the Urologist at 14:30 and low and behold he is at another practice in a different suburb. The receptionist gets such a big fright because of the size of Jared’s kidney stones that within minutes she is busy arranging theatres for emergency surgery! Eventually I got her to HEAR what I was saying – the kidney stones are not obstructing the urinary tract! A new appointment is scheduled for Jared to see the Urologist on Monday.
We arrive home and the doggie parlor people had not picked up JD for her final pampering session. Anyway she had a better night the previous night and all of a sudden I am doubting my decision about sending her to Doggy Heaven. Maybe this is a sign that it is not her time!
With minutes to spare, just before I add garlic to dinner, my wonderful, caring friend Gillian arrives. (Gill is allergic to garlic and 1000 other things…) Out of the blue with armloads of gifts… A lavender plant and lavender hand cremes for me (to calm me down), rusks for Danie, chocolates for the boys and waterless Magnolia hand sanitizer and linen stray for Vic! How precious is my friend? She read my blog in the morning and decided that I need moral support!
So, egg on my blog face… JD is still walking around, Jared is in high spirits because he is not in theatre and after such a bad start Vic is having a good afternoon. (The Jurnista is working so well!!!)
I was so happy to see my friend!!
Gill and I, over a cup of tea, are sitting discussing Jared’s situation when she asked “Who is his Urologist?” I told her that it is Dr S; he is new in Alberton so we were able to get an appointment quickly… Gillian went white! In her clipped manner of speech she declared “Over my dead body! Do you know what he did to Sandra, (her sister-in-law)? He left the plug in her when he did her bladder repair 6 weeks ago! Sandra nearly died!” Gill then proceeds to tell me that at Sandra’s book club meeting the girls were discussing Sandra’s operation. Naturally the girls wanted to know who the surgeon was and guess who? Yes, Dr S… That apparently triggered two more of the ladies relating their stories of severe sepsis, after urology surgery, to their husbands and the urologist was…. Wait for it….. Dr S!!!!!
There is a God! Imagine if Jared went into theatre yesterday and he was Case No 4 GONE WRONG???
I had just started writing this posting today when the phone rang and guess what? Dr Y’s receptionist was on the line. Dr wants to see Vic… With the speed of lightning I dressed Vic in a tracksuit and sped off to the Doctor’s rooms. The receptionist nearly fainted when she saw Vic’s hand… After a couple of minutes she said if we had not lived close to the consulting rooms she would have told us to come in on Tuesday next week… she did not feel like working late and yesterday she cut down on the number of consults he was doing because she had stuff to do…! Obviously her conscience got the better of her and she told him Vic had phoned. He told her to get hold of Vic to see him today still…
The doctor was shocked when he saw how swollen Vicky’s hand is. He took the cast off and the arm is extremely bruised and very, very sore. We had a long discussion and the decision was made that there is no alternative but to operate. Vic will check into the hospital at 08:00 tomorrow morning and he will operate at 10:00.
I am very concerned about the danger of sepsis. Obviously Vic will go onto strong antibiotics but she already takes antibiotics every day of her life. As a matter of fact she takes antibiotics twice a day, every day of her life. She already has sepsis in the spine and abdomen. I do however realize that there is no other option but to do the arthroplasty surgery.
I am however concerned that a silly little girl can decide how many patients a doctor can see a day not because of his time constraints but her nail appointment at the beauty parlor… I am very concerned that a receptionist can play God and could cost my child her arm. Yesterday it would have been a standard surgery but now it is emergency surgery that has to be performed on a Saturday morning. What a country we live in!
What on earth can make a doctor appoint such an airhead in his practice? We end up with a silly young woman who do not realize the importance of being able to distinguish between a patient needing to see a doctor urgently and her +*%&% nail appointment!
I have tried to Google “humerus + sepsis” but the articles I found were just too complicated for me to understand. So, in faith, I will accompany Vic to hospital and try to get her through the post-op pain and onto the road to recovery. I can only hope that she will not lose too much functionality
I am watching the opening of the 2012 Olympics and am filled with deep sadness for Vic and other people in similar situations to Vic’s. Somebody else’s sons and daughters, the perfect athletes, competing for the top sports awards of the world…. Dreams will be realized or shattered. There will be tears of joy and tears of heartbreak…
Vic has never been able or allowed to do any sport. People of her age are still climbing the ladder to success. Vic has never really worked or climbed the corporate ladder. Vic’s life is over without it ever really started. Vic literally only knows tears of pain and suffering. However if there was an Olympics for pain, suffering and endurance, my child would take gold!!
Vicky Bruce, Champion of Champion in the Pain and Suffering Race! All time winner of Survivor OI.
We are seeing a GP tomorrow morning regarding Vic’s arm. Both her arm and hand are so swollen that I am concerned that she may actually lose her arm. It has now been more than a month from the day that she fractured her arm. When I bathed her tonight I removed part of the dressing that is protecting her arm. Her arm is still black and blue and horrifically swollen. I am convinced that she has pressure sores under the cast.
Today was a truly exciting day… (Relax, I am being facetious)
We phoned the Orthopod that treated Vic in hospital. Sorry, he (Dr Y) can only see Vic next week! We then phoned her original Orthopod (Dr V) with the permission of Dr Y. Dr V’s receptionist informs us that Dr V will only see Vic with the written consent of Dr Y. We tell her that Dr Y is too busy to write a letter but has advised us to get Dr V to phone him (Dr Y) if he needs to speak to him. “We will not even allow you into Dr’s rooms without a letter. Doctor V is too busy to phone. Get a letter if it is so urgent for you to see Doctor!”
Well!!! What the hell do you do? You cannot force a receptionist to allow you to see a doctor. Even if you force your way into the consulting rooms you cannot force a doctor to see you.
The fact that Vicky is terminal does not give any doctor permission to wash their hands off her. It is written into our Constitution that every citizen of this beautiful country has the right to medical care!! “In terms of South Africa’s constitution each person is entitled to human dignity, equality and freedom. This should also be the case when a patient receives medical treatment in the private and public sector.
The Government has an obligation to protect the life of every person in South Africa. The patient has the right to receive medical treatment.”
I promise anyone who cares to read this or hear me: if there is permanent damage to Vic’s arm, I will sue both doctors, regardless of her overall medical condition.
Tomorrow we will see Vic’s GP and hopefully she can get Vic into an Orthopod’s rooms! Why only tomorrow? She is too fully booked today to see us today…
Today I had a message from Dr Jaffer Hussain asking whether the Jurnista is working. Not only did he care enough but he asked whether I wanted him to ask Prof Froehlich to motivate Hospice?
I received a message from my brother today that read:- Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, GOD smiles from above and says, “Relax, it’s just a bend, not the end!”
Is there hope after all? I am cautiously optimistic!
Tomorrow afternoon we see the Urologist. Strangely I am at peace about Jared. God cannot be that cruel so I trust in a positive outcome!
JD (Jared’s Dog), is 15 years old and suffering from 3rd degree congenital heart failure. In human years JD is at least 105 dog years old. She has been such a healthy little dog but is now starting to battle. She coughs throughout the night and end up sitting upright to breathe easier. When I get home she is so excited that she has a coughing spell.
JD follows me where ever I go. If I step back I step on her. She sleeps in my room. JD and I have a system worked out. When I come out of the shower she is already waiting for me. When I go downstairs, with her in tow, her little tail is wagging and she is clearly very excited to see what little snack she is going to have. I know she is not supposed to have little snacks but heaven helps the person who tries to feed me hard, dry biscuits when I am 105 years old!
I do not want JD to suffer any further. Tomorrow morning she will go to the parlour one final time. In the afternoon she will have an injection at the vet and gently drift off to Doggie Heaven. Vic and Jared want to go with her.
I am a coward. I do not have the resilience and strength to take her.
Vic's Final Journey 