Today it is 5 months since Vic died. I am trying to get Vic’s estate done (not doing well at all!!) and came across a file with a letter addressed to me.
It flashed through my mind…”A letter from heaven!”
It is not a recent letter. It is a letter that Vic wrote years ago. How do I know? It was with her old Last Will and Testament.
I am grateful for the letter. I am heartbroken that I am reading it.
I love you always and forever my Angel Child.
Hospice – friend or foe?
A blogger friend, Terry, is preparing for her beloved brother Al, to move home from an Assisted Living Facility. Al suffers from Parkinson’s disease and his general health condition is extremely precarious. Terry blogged: “I finally heard nothing from the phone. I had done everything I could find to do trying not to have to make the dreaded call to Hospice. I decided not to use the Hospice here in our county. I was very disappointed in them with the lack of care they gave to my father.” http://terry1954.wordpress.com/2013/06/17/al-and-hospice-meet/
Vic wrote this on her Face Book page on the 15th of May 2011… “Today Hospice came to access my Grandfather… They dripped him & made him comfortable. He has lost his swallowing reflex, sleeps most of the day, is completely bedridden & can barely talk… The suddenness of his deterioration is very difficult to comprehend. Could you all say a big prayer for my Gramps and especially my Mom, who lost her best friend of 25 yrs., age 51 to a heart attack last Tuesday. My Mother is one of the strongest, bravest people I know… How do we say goodbye, how do I take my Boys to say their Goodbyes tomorrow, how do we accept that this incredible man has such little time left regardless of the fact that we all know that its best for him. How can I be strong for my babies when my heart breaks all over again, every day when I see him…? Especially my Eunice Friends will all remember how desperately my Gramps and Gran loved and spoilt me and how VERY MUCH they meant to me… I don’t want to live without him even though I realise that that is extremely selfish, but I love my Grandfather so desperately, it’s not fair… All I ask for is compassion… Compassion for Gramps and my Mother… Thank you to everyone for all your love & support through everything… Love Vic…”
I am a great believer in the services that Hospices offer – worldwide. Hospice cared for my Dad in the last week of his life and for Vic the last 5.5 months of her life. My experience was positive.
The hospice movement was started in the 1950’s in London by Dame Cicely Saunders, and the first hospice facility opened in London in 1967. Seven years later the United States opened their first hospice facility in 1974. In America the hospice movement has blossomed and hospice now serves 44.6% of patient deaths. Unfortunately, the median length of service for hospice patients is only 19.1 days, which means many patients did not receive the benefit of hospice care until the end of a difficult illness. In my country only 5% of the dying actually have access to Hospice services.
The original idea of hospice is that once curative treatments are no longer effective, a patient enrols in hospice to receive comfort care. In our culture of “fighting” death illness that should be addressed through ongoing decisions about the risk and benefit of interventions gets turned into a battle that should be won or lost. No one wants to be a loser, so the patient is reluctant to quit curative care until there is absolutely no hope. Many physicians are geared the same way, and their desire to give hope and “beat” disease results in a reluctance to call in hospice even when they know the situation is bleak.
Hospice care is for a terminally ill person who’s expected to have six months or less to live. This doesn’t mean that hospice care will be provided only for six months, however. Hospice care can be provided as long as the person’s doctor and hospice care team certify that the condition remains life-limiting.
The benefits of hospice and palliative care
Research published in the Journal of Pain and Symptom Management found that terminally-ill patients who received hospice care lived on average 29 days longer than those who did not opt for hospice near the end of life.
Source: National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization
Hospice care providers offer specialized knowledge and support at the end of life just as obstetricians and midwives lend support and expertise at the start of life. Hospice can reduce anxiety in both the terminally ill patient and his or her family by helping them make the most of the time remaining and achieve some level of acceptance.
When terminally ill patients, who are often already in a weakened physical and mental state, make the decision to receive hospice and palliative care instead of continued curative treatment, they avoid the dangers of over-treatment. In-home care from a hospice team often means the patient receives greater monitoring than he or she would in a hospital. In addition to focusing on the physical health and comfort of a patient, hospice care also focuses on the emotional needs and spiritual well-being of the terminally ill and their loved ones.
The above is all well documented facts. Yet, when a family is faced with that terrible decision to call in Hospice, it is a deeply emotional decision. The phone call is a terrifying telephone call. This is evident from Vic and Terry’s posts…..
It made me realise what a massive challenge lies ahead of us in Stepping Stone Hospice. We need to educate the community. We need to dispel the fear of and for Hospice.
What is the difference between Alzheimers and Dementia?In a nutshell, dementia is a symptom, and AD is the cause of the symptom. When someone is told they have dementia, it means that they have significant memory problems as well as other cognitive difficulties, and that these problems are severe enough to get in the way of daily living…..
Too often, patients and their family members are told by their doctors that the patient has been diagnosed with “a little bit of dementia.” They leave the doctor’s visit with a feeling of relief that at least they don’t have Alzheimer’s disease (AD).
There is great confusion about the difference between “dementia” and “Alzheimer’s disease.” The confusion is felt on the part of patients, family members, the media, and even healthcare providers. This article provides information to reduce the confusion by defining and describing these two common and often poorly understood terms.
What is the difference between Alzheimer’s disease and dementia?
“Dementia” is a term that has replaced a more out-of-date word, “senility,” to refer to cognitive changes with advanced age.
Dementia includes a group of symptoms, the most prominent of which is memory difficulty with additional problems in at least one other area of cognitive functioning, including language, attention, problem solving, spatial skills, judgment, planning, or organization. These cognitive problems are a noticeable change compared to the person’s cognitive functioning earlier in life and are severe enough to get in the way of normal daily living, such as social and occupational activities.
A good analogy to the term dementia is “fever.” Fever refers to an elevated temperature, indicating that a person is sick. But it does not give any information about what is causing the sickness. In the same way, dementia means that there is something wrong with a person’s brain, but it does not provide any information about what is causing the memory or cognitive difficulties. Dementia is not a disease; it is the clinical presentation or symptoms of a disease.
There are many possible causes of dementia. Some causes are reversible, such ascertain thyroid conditions or vitamin deficiencies. If these underlying problems are identified and treated, then the dementia reverses and the person can return to normal functioning.
However, most causes of dementia are not reversible. Rather, they are degenerative diseases of the brain that get worse over time. The most common cause of dementia is AD, accounting for as many as 70-80% of all cases of dementia.
Approximately 5.3 million Americans currently live with AD. As people get older, the prevalence of AD increases, with approximately 50% of people age 85 and older having the disease.
It is important to note, however, that although AD is extremely common in later years of life, it is not part of normal aging. For that matter, dementia is not part of normal aging. If someone has dementia (due to whatever underlying cause), it represents an important problem in need of appropriate diagnosis and treatment by a well-trained healthcare provider who specializes in degenerative diseases.
In a nutshell, dementia is a symptom, and AD is the cause of the symptom.
When someone is told they have dementia, it means that they have significant memory problems as well as other cognitive difficulties, and that these problems are severe enough to get in the way of daily living.
Most of the time, dementia is caused by the specific brain disease, AD. However, some uncommon degenerative causes of dementia include vascular dementia (also referred to as multi-infarct dementia), frontotemporal dementia, Lewy Body disease, and chronic traumatic encephalopathy.
Contrary to what some people may think, dementia is not a less severe problem, with AD being a more severe problem. There is not a continuum with dementia on one side and AD at the extreme. Rather, there can be early or mild stages of AD, which then progress to moderate and severe stages of the disease.
One reason for the confusion about dementia and AD is that it is not possible to diagnose AD with 100% accuracy while someone is alive. Rather, AD can only truly be diagnosed after death, upon autopsy when the brain tissue is carefully examined by a specialized doctor referred to as a neuropathologist.
During life, a patient can be diagnosed with “probable AD.” This term is used by doctors and researchers to indicate that, based on the person’s symptoms, the course of the symptoms, and the results of various tests, it is very likely that the person will show pathological features of AD when the brain tissue is examined following death.
In specialty memory clinics and research programs, such as the BU ADC, the accuracy of a probable AD diagnosis can be excellent. And with the results of exciting new research, such as that being conducted at the BU ADC, the accuracy of AD diagnosis during life is getting better and better.
This contribution was made by Dr. Robert Stern, Director of the BU ADC Clinical Core.
Source BU ADC Bulletin
http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/06/whats-difference-between-alzheimers-and.html
When I started thinking about Father’s Day this year I just became so depressed. I felt that I don’t have any reason to celebrate Father’s Day tomorrow. Today, I was going through Vic’s photos when I realized that it is not true!
My Dad died on the 21st of May 2011 and Vic’s father died on the 5th of November 1999.
I was single for most of Vic’s young life. For most of her little life my Dad was her Dad. Her Gramps taught her how to play cards and have a night cap….When Gramps had a nightcap he had to mix her a “drink” that had the exact same colouring as his… They adored one another.
Just about the only thing my dad never forgot was that Vic was ill. He could not remember my name, but he remembered Vic was ill. He forgot whether she was in hospital or not but knew she was ill… My Dad was the greatest father in the world. He not only loved his family but cherished us all.
I grew up in a home with a sickly mother. A childhood back injury lead to many years of suffering and a vicious cycle of back surgery, stomach surgery, back surgery, stomach surgery…. My parents taught us that “love” was a verb – love is an action. We lived 1 Corinthians 13 in our home. We were taught to love, honour and respect. My father was the perfect example of what a husband and father should be.
In my single years I received a couple of proposals. My mom pressured me – she really wanted me to remarry… I always said I will remarry when I meet a man like my Dad. And then I did…
From the day we were married Vic called Danie “Daddy”. Danie’s four children were her siblings.
Danie was absolutely amazing with Vic and her illness. When my dad moved in with us, Danie just accepted it as part of our journey. He was incredibly patient with my Dad who suffered from Alzheimer’s. His selfless, caring nature has allowed me to care for my dad and my child; to pursue my career and start-up Stepping Stone Hospice.
Danie was a wonderful dad to Vic. She distinguished between Danie and Tienie (her biological father) by referring to Danie as “Daddy” and Tienie as her father. She absolutely adored Danie. Danie loved Vic as if she was his own.
In the final days of Vic’s life she pleaded with him to not leave her.
A couple of days before her death Vic saw her father… Jared was standing at the bottom of her bed and she said “Look Jared, Oupa Tienie is standing behind you…” Her dad held her hand as she stopped breathing. Her father took her hand as she stopped breathing…
When I packed up Vic’s cupboards I found the cardigan she had bought Danie for Father’s Day this year… This year she will celebrate Father’s Day with her father and Danie will wear his cardigan.
Father’s Day and Mother’s Day were special days for Vic. She loved spoiling and being spoilt!
Vic was desperately ill last year on Father’s Day. I cooked a large family lunch and all the Gauteng kids and grandkids came for lunch. Vic tried to have lunch with us but within minutes she was nauseous. I remember her eyes filling up with tears when she excused herself from the table. “I am sorry Daddy” she said.
Later that afternoon Danie’s eldest daughter lay next to her in bed. They wept together. Danie sat with them filled with grief for the pain Vic was going through.
Danie is an amazing grandfather. He loves Vic’s boys as much as he loves his “biological” grandchildren. He enjoys spending time with them. He is teaching them the value of family, goodness and love!
This beautiful man is more than I deserve. I love him with every fiber of my body. I am grateful to him for the gift of his children and grandchildren every day of my life. I am grateful that he taught me the biggest commandment of all – love!
So tonight I salute two wonderful men. Happy Father’s Day Daddy. Danie, you are my best friend. I love you with every fibre in my body. Thank you so much for being such a wonderful daddy to Vic and grandfather to the boys.
Vic, I hope you have fun in Heaven tomorrow with Gramps and your father. I know you will be surrounded and ensconced in love. We will miss you on Father’s Day and every other day in our lives.
Someone wrote a poem for me. I am grateful for the hand of comfort that was extended by a stranger. This stranger happens to be ill and suffer debilitating pain.
I was so touched! Thank you Belinda!!
13JUN2013 by http://busymindthinking.com/2013/06/13/i-wish-that
I wish that I had known you
when you struggled with your pain
but I didn’t know your situation
oblivious even to your name
I wish that I could have offered
an embrace when tears you cried
saying goodbye to your loved one
filled with sorrow when she died
I wish that things had been different
and that she didn’t have to leave
I wish most of all kind stranger
that you have comfort when you grieve
This was my song for Vic. I played it for her all the time. We spoke about the words and the meaning of the words.
Today it is 21 weeks since I have been able to touch my child, hold her, brush her hair. I know that she is around me, but I feel so alone without her. Vic was my dearest friend, my companion, my daughter, my soul mate.
Yes, Vic is in my heart. Not a minute goes by that I don’t think of her, miss her…. But I really want her to be with me. When will this pain end? When will I come to terms with the fact that I am alone now.
Yes, I know I am surrounded by people who love me…I know they are worried about me… But nobody can fill the void that Vic’s death has left.
I feel alone even when I am surrounded by lots of people, family….
Nothing in the world could have prepared me for this thing called “grief”. This devastating sorrow.
This weekend I will work in the garden and start preparing Vic’s Angel Garden. I don’t want my child in a friggin garden – I want her in my home. I want her sneaking up behind me and kissing me on the cheek. I want to hear her voice saying “I love you Mommy”. I want to tell her how much I love her.
I want to hear her talking to her boys. Telling them she loves them the “mostest in the world”; reminding them to brush their teeth
I don’t want to feel this sorrow and pain. I want to be happy again.
Thinking of You with Love
We thought of you with love today,
but that is nothing new.
We thought about you yesterday,
and days before that too.
We think of you in silence,
we often speak your name.
All we have are memories,
and your picture in a frame.
Your memory is our keepsake,
with which we will never part.
God has you in His keeping,
we have you in our hearts.
A million times we`ve wanted you.
A million times we cried.
If love could only have saved you,
you never would have died.
It broke our hearts to lose you.
But you didn`t go alone.
For a part of us went with you…
the day God called you Home.
~Author Unknown
Today I stumbled across an amazing blog. It is a blog about kindness…. http://kindnessblog.com
Please pop in there. Let’s all think about “kindness” and make it our goal to perform just one special act of kindness every day! It has to be a special act of kindness that actually takes an effort.
Vic was a kind and generous person. Her legacy is one of kindness and generosity. So I have come up with an award… The Rose of Kindness Award. I would like to add that we need to remember that our existence here is fragile, and we never have as much time with people as we think we do. If there is someone or someone’s out there that you love, don’t neglect that and don’t put off engaging with them because death waits for no-one… Be kind and gentle. Cherish your relationships remember to be kind…. Pay it forward!
Rules of the Rose of Kindness Award
So I have to nominate some kind people.
My suggested act of kindness: On Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, remember any friends who have lost a parent the previous year, and check in with them. Those will be tough days.
I have never consciously given thought to the difference between the words “love” and “cherish.”
Today I did.
The definition of love is as follows:
Love/ləv/Noun
An intense feeling of deep affection: “their love for their country”. Verb
Feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone): “do you love me?”. Synonyms
noun. affection – fondness – darling – passion
verb. like – be fond of – fancy – adoreThe definition of cher•ish is as follows:
/ˈCHeriSH/
Verb
Protect and care for (someone) lovingly: “he cherished me in his heart”.
Hold (something) dear.Synonyms
nurse – nourish – fosterThe Latin phrase for Cherish is Alo (alui Altum), Alo (alui Altum) is defined as: nourish, cherish, support, sustain, maintain, keep.
To cherish someone means to treat them with affection and tenderness, to hold them dear – close to our hearts. To me “cherish” implies gentleness, tenderness, respect and friendship; purity of emotion….
We feel cherished when we feel precious….Feelings of being cherished takes me back to my childhood. When my parents loved me unconditionally and I was ensconced in this amazing feeling of being treasured, protected, cared for….safe.
We all crave to be cherished by our friends, family and loved ones. When we are cherished we have a warm, “safe” feeling within the relationship.
It explained to me why I felt safe in some friendships… There are relationships where I feel loved and then there are relationships where I feel cherished. I am tough. A friend once said I was as strong as the rock of Gibraltar. Little did he know how vulnerable I was at that stage of my life….
I suppose we feel loved by the ones who do not necessarily look out for us and protect us and cherished by those who go the extra mile and have our backs.
Love is easy. We love family because we are bound by blood, DNA of the heart, memories, intellectual and physical attraction. We love our car, our homes, our pets… We cherish our children, some friends, our memories…
Yet there are many people who will not allow others to cherish them —for example, someone who exhausts herself helping others, but when she needs help herself quickly says, “No thank you, I’m fine.”
The irony is that often these people experience a kind of elemental disbelief when they feel uncherished and think someone has let them down. “Oh no! It can’t be! Why am I not loved?” A sense of loss, a basic anxiety, grips them.
I know that I will move the world for my loved ones. Yet I find it hard to allow people close enough to me, to “cherish” me…I am a do-er. I get embarrassed when people “do” things for me…
I recall once Lani wanted to give me a hand massage…I was too embarrassed to allow it…. I stayed busy to avoid the intimacy of being cherished by someone I love dearly…
There is a difference between cherish and love. I find it hard to allow people to cherish me because that means I have to trust them with my heart and soul. Love is less intimidating…
I am grateful that I am able to love and cherish. I am grateful that people have patiently hacked away at my defences and love and cherish me…
Today I miss my precious child whom I love and cherish and who loved and cherished me….
When a parent dies, you lose your past; when a child dies, you lose your future.
There are more than 100 million single (only) children in China, Xinhua, the state-run news agency, reported in February. That translates into more than 200 million parents of single children.
Until 2012, there were “at least” one million families in China that had lost their only child, Xinhua wrote in a separate report carried by the Jinghua Times. About 76,000 families are added to the sad roster each year, it said.
There is a special term for the parents that has lost their only child….”shidu” family.
In the rest of the world the average woman gives birth to 2.75 children.
I gave birth to one. My only birth child has died. I am a “shidu”
Today I am (again) desperately missing my child. I feel as if I have lost my future. I only have my past. But I know that is not true. I have Vic’s two amazing son’s to care for; 4 precious stepchildren; 9 step grandchildren that I love like my own…
Many years ago when Danie proposed I asked God for a clear sign. I prayed so hard so direction… I explained to God that I was so scared of making a mistake that would affect so many people’s lives. I asked for a clear scripture!
I opened my Bible and the scripture that jumped up at me was Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 “9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! 11 Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? 12 And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
I immediately went back on my knees and prayed again. “God, thank you for the scripture you gave me but what about all the children?”
I opened my Bible and it fell open on page 793 of the Old Testament. Isaiah 54:1-17 “Sing, O barren one, who did not bear; break forth into singing and cry aloud, you who have not been in labor! For the children of the desolate one will be more than the children of her who is married,” says the Lord. “Enlarge the place of your tent, and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out; do not hold back; lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes. For you will spread abroad to the right and to the left, and your offspring will possess the nations and will people the desolate cities. “Fear not, for you will not be ashamed; be not confounded, for you will not be disgraced; for you will forget the shame of your youth, and the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more. “
My answer was a prophesy… Not only is my life filled with these precious people but I now also have Izak, Reuben, Nonthanthle and Shekinah to love. I am blessed.
Does this however fill the void that Vic’s death has left?
I feel ungrateful for being in this well of despair whilst I am not alone. I am motherless not childless. The fact remains that I desperately miss my child. My life is empty. I have lost my future.
I am a Shidu
https://tersiaburger.com/2012/10/05/danie-the-wind-beneath-my-wings/
Vic’s angel has finally arrived at home… I am so sad and so angry!
Nelson Mandela: Is it time for South Africa to let him go?
By Pumza FihlaniBBC News, Johannesburg
Many people still see Nelson Mandela as the antidote to current social ills.
So deep is the affection in South Africa for the country’s first black President, Nelson Mandela, that the thought of his passing seems incomprehensible.
But deep down the millions who adore him know that that day is inevitable.
Following a string of health scares in the recent past, South Africans are beginning to come to terms with the mortality of their 94-year-old icon.
Still, this in an uncomfortable topic here.
Somadoda Fikeni, head of the South African Heritage Resources Agency (Sahra), puts it this way: “We no longer have an icon on his level, not only here in South Africa but in the world.
“People see him as the antidote to the current social ills we are faced with. That is why people are still holding on to him.”
According to Isintu – traditional South African culture – the very sick do not die unless the family ‘releases’ them spiritually”
South Africans see Mr Mandela as the glue that is holding the country together and believe that the social challenges of crime, poverty, corruption and unemployment can only be overcome if they have him to inspire the country’s leaders to greatness.
It might be too high an aspiration to place on one individual, but in the eyes of many here, Mr Mandela is no mere individual.
Nevertheless, for the first time it seems that the tone surrounding Mr Mandela’s increasingly frail health is beginning to change.
The Sunday Times newspaper at the weekend led with the headline: “It’s time to let him go.”
A blunt phrase bound to cause discomfort for the family and indeed many others in South Africa.
The usual response to Nelson Mandela’s illnesses is a call to prayer
But these were not the words of someone who is nonchalant about what Mr Mandela represents to this country. These were the words of a dear friend and fellow Robben Island prisoner, Andrew Mlangeni, upon hearing that Mr Mandela had again been admitted to hospital.
“The family must release him so that God may have his own way with him… once the family releases him, the people of South Africa will follow,” Mr Mlangeni was quoted as saying.
Many are fully aware of Mr Mandela’s poor health and advanced age, but almost in the same breath they say they want him to live for many more years.
It’s an extraordinary relationship, an impossible love.
It may be that squabbling within his family is troubling him and that needs to be addressed while he is still here. He may not be well received on the other side until these issues have been resolved”
Somadoda FikeniSouth African Heritage Resources Agency
At dinner tables South Africans talk about the Nobel Laureate’s need to rest but none utter the phrase that could change it all: “Siyakukhulula tata” – Xhosa for “We release you, father”.
According to Isintu – traditional South African culture – the very sick do not die unless the family “releases” them spiritually – only then will they be at peace in surrendering to death.
Culturally, this practice is seen as “permission” to die and this permission needs to be given by the family; it is reassurance from loved ones that they will be fine.
Mr Fikeni says that the other reason a person fights death is because they have unfinished business.
“It may be that squabbling within his family is troubling him and that needs to be addressed while he is still here. He may not be well received on the other side until these issues have been resolved.”
This may be a reference to a recent court case which has seen an attempt by Mr Mandela’s daughters, Makaziwe and Zenani, to oust three of his aides from companies linked to him.
It is not easy to get people to speak about Mr Mandela’s passing.
The BBC contacted three other cultural experts who refused to comment for fear of a backlash from the family or indeed fellow South Africans.
The press has been less fearful. Local and international media have reported on his four hospital visits since late last year. They camp outside hospitals for days eager to get an update on his health.
During the periods of his illness, the common theme in headlines is to call on South Africans to pray for his speedy recovery – further testimony that many are not ready to lose him.
But Mr Mandela’s visits to hospital have become lengthier and his care more specialised.
President Jacob Zuma and a number of top officials from the governing African National Congress visited him at his Houghton home in Johannesburg shortly after his last release in April. Mr Mandela was seen sitting on a beige couch with a blanket on his legs.
He had a blank expression on his face. On his cheeks, the marks of where a hospital oxygen mask had been. The images were widely criticised.
This time around all we know is that he is in intensive care, and he is being treated for a recurring lung infection.
The presidency is juggling the need to inform South Africans and the world, while respecting the family’s request for privacy. It is an unenviable task.
“The best way to honour him will be to carry on his values of tolerance and conversation”
Anyone who has loved a father or grandfather can attest to wanting that person to live forever – people here see Mr Mandela as the greatest father there ever was.
He after all averted civil war, many South Africans believe, when he called on black and white people to reconcile amid marked racial tension, a time when South Africa seemed on the brink of collapse, destined to descend into anarchy like so many fellow African countries.
But the country still faces division; racism rears its head every so often, the ANC is more divided now than it has ever been.
A culture of tribalism is slowly creeping into the fibre of the new South Africa – some experts say this is due to a lack of firm leadership from the liberation movement.
These divisions are forcing South Africans to take a closer look at Nelson Mandela’s dream of the “rainbow nation” and ask whether it is still alive – and whether it will live on after him.
Some still believe South Africa can surmount its challenges.
“It’s a shared idea that what we have now is better than what he had in the past. All we need to do is hold on to this shared vision of a better South Africa,” says political analyst, Ralph Mathekga.
Fears that Mr Mandela’s passing will lead to anarchy are “unrealistic”, he says, adding that South Africans need to focus on how they can continue the legacy.
“The best way to honour him will be to carry on his values of tolerance and conversation,” says Mr Mathekga.
Vic's Final Journey 