Category: Awards

Best Moment Award


I have been very slack and decided before I depart this world from this vicious flu-virus that I have contracted, I should get my affairs in order and accept all my awards.I apologise profusely for only accepting now.  I LOVE getting awards, but I find it so difficult to pass the award on to so few bloggers.  So I have come up with a strategy of saving my awards and doing it one-shot and hopefully I will not leave any one out… If I do – It is the flu…I received the Best Moment Award from two amazing bloggers – Jane – johannisthinking and Shaun http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/04/10/best-moment-award-2/

best moment award

Three Time Winner

Awarding the people who live in the moment,
the noble who write and capture the best in life,
the bold who reminded us what really mattered –
Savouring the experience of quality time.

BEST MOMENT AWARD

My Acceptance:

I would like to thank two of my dear blogger friends for this amazing award.  I dedicate this award to my precious child who is the reason and inspiration behind my blog.  I started my blog when Vic was going mad with pain, and I was still fighting the system to get her into a Hospice Program.

First person to thank is Shaun –  http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/about-2/ Recently Shaun wrote me an email and said the following  

“The 1st blog I read of yours was the one with you holding Vic  https://tersiaburger.com/2013/01/25/vic-has-left-home-for-the-last-time/  Dawn and I cried and cuddled for about an hour, over time whenever you speak to me Dawn is asking “How is she” and “What is she saying” and caring…

Shaun has more than 670 followers after only blogging for a couple of months…He is articulate, bright, honest, sensitive and an amazing friend and blogger.  I have so much respect for this young man who has overcome so much tragedy and hardship in his life.  His love for Dawn and his children radiates from his blog.

The second is Wisconsin native Jane Johann, is a retired Reading Specialist and Language Arts Teacher.  Jane received her undergraduate degree from Marquette University, where she earned a B.A., majoring in English Literature and a minor in Secondary Education (1974). She attained her M.A. as a Specialist in the Acquisition of Language and Reading Instruction, K-12, graduate of Cardinal Stritch University (1994).

I have never had any formal training – I just write from my heart.  What I am trying to say is that Jane has every reason in the world to be a literary snob.  Jane however is a kind, generous and compassionate friend.  She writes to me and always has kind and encouraging words for me.  I find peace in Jane’s writing.  She cares deeply for others whilst she seeks “light, love and truth within ourselves is paramount to receiving the light, the truth and the love in others.  Only in first accepting our worth, we will then be open to accepting the worth of others. Only in first loving and caring for ourselves, will we better equipped to love and care for others.  I try to keep in mind the words of Kahlil Gibran, “It is not that God lives in us, rather we live in the heart of God!”  Understanding that we all are part of each other, hopefully we will create a better world.”

Shaun and Jane thank you for honouring me with this wonderful award.  I humbly accept.

The WordPress Bloggers that I nominate for this award are:

  1. Wendie Jeanne Deacon at http://deaconfamilyblog.wordpress.com/an-angel-named-vic/.   Wendie is a new blogger.  I actually don’t know how she found my blog but I am grateful that she did.  Wendie has fallen under Vic’s spell!  Wendie is a very, very brave young woman.  I cannot share her bravery and determination with you because she shared it with me in private correspondence. Wendie you are great.  Thank you for your tribute to Vic and your friendship!  I hope that you will blog about your challenges so the world can learn from you.
  2. 2.      Krista – http://wordstohealthepain.wordpress.com is a young woman who is battling to come to terms with the death of her fiancé and soul mate.  She is a new blogger too and can do with some support.  She writes well.  “Grief is a solitary journey. No one but you knows how great the hurt is.  No one but you can know the gaping hole left in your life when someone you know has died.  And no one but you can mourn the silence that was once filled with laughter and song. It is the nature of love and death to touch every person in a totally unique way   ~~ Unknown”
  3. Lori at http://letstalkaboutfamily.wordpress.com/ was her late Mom’s advocate and caregiver.  Her beloved father suffers from Alzheimer’s and Lori suffers from debilitating back problems.  Lori is caring and understands the stresses of caregiving.  Lori blogs about elder care, death and dying, assisted living, family relationships, hoarders and hoarding.   She is an excellent blogger.
  4. http://ericalagan.net is a gifted engineer who writes beautiful poetry about Life, Love and Family – giving these profound topics a boy’s/man’s point of view. This brave man writes “Yes, men do remain faithful to their loved one and men do cry.”
  5. Gloria at http://grannyscolorful.wordpress.com is an amazing friend.  Gloria always leaves a word of encouragement after reading my posts.  She writes about her sadness after her son’s death, her anger, depression and the rare happy day.  Gloria is a very colourful blogger and I encourage you to visit her blog.
  6. Emmitt Owen Riley at http://mysteryoriley.com/dear-grieving-parents/  is a blog that gives one a glimpse of how these parents are coping with their journey of unbelievable grief, loss, and mystery after the mysterious death of their 20-year-old son.  Truly a brave blog.
  7. Mary Russell  blogs her Journey Through Grief after the sad death of her son.  It is poignant and raw blog yet filled with courage and hope.  Thank you for blogging your pain Mary.  http://maryrussell12.wordpress.com/
  8. Mel  Lefebvre at http://hopethebean.wordpress.com is blogging her pregnancy.  She lost her precious baby, Henry, to Osteogenesis Imperfecta.  It is the genetic disorder that my precious Vic was born with.  This blog is about hope, fear, more hope and love.  Please hold Mel in your prayers.  Love you Mel!!
  9. Diana at http://talktodiana.wordpress.com/ ‘s blog is a wonderfully upbeat blog.  I love the quote section!  “Never stand begging for that which you have the power to earn.” – Miguel de Cervantes is just one of many!  Great fun.  Thank you Diana for featuring Vic’s journey (and my blog)on http://talktodiana.wordpress.com/2013/04/12/friday-pick-46/ . It meant so much to me!!!
  10. Jane at http://janevanwyk.wordpress.com/ blogs about her daughter DD and her daughter’s illness.  She is a brand new blogger and I am giving her this award to encourage her to come back and continue blogging.
  11. Kelly at http://nevercryoverspilledmilk.com is a single mom who bravely battles chronic pain.   She makes the brave statement “you can’t cry over the small things and you have to look at the big picture.”   Kelly you are a brave young woman.
  12. Victoria Bruce at http://furrynuff.wordpress.com/ is a fellow South African blogger with my Vic’s names…I love commenting on her excellent posts because I get to type “Victoria Bruce”….She also happens to be a great blogger.  I hope you accept this award Victoria Bruce.
  13. Jonathan at http://afathershope.com/ eloquently writes about his grief when his baby daughter was born without kidneys.  Jonathan writes from a father’s perspective.  He admits to his raw pain and shares how he copes with his grief.  It is a blog of hope.
  14. Denise at http://forphilip.wordpress.com/ blogs about her raw, undiluted pain after the death of her son, Phillip.  It is a difficult blog because she so perfectly articulates my pain, anger and longing.  Diane I hope you will accept this award.
  15. MJgoodburn at http://mymomsmemoirs.wordpress.com shares her mom’s final journey and the trauma within the family.  It is a difficult journey…
  16. http://behindthemaskofabuse.com is a heart wrenching blog about a woman’s life of abuse.  She was raised by a narcissistic father, and a mother who rarely protected her from his verbal, mental , emotional and psychological abuse.  She endured molestation, both inside and outside the family setting, raped at the tender age of 11 years old.  This blog is written by an amazing person. A strong person battling recovery, anger and betrayal.   She battles C-PTSD and BDD.  Out of her pain two books were born and are published on Amazon  “Buckwheatsrisk-Abuse Survival”,  and a poetry book entitled “If I Could Write my Heart”  I salute you!
  17. Alison at http://happilyhomeless2.wordpress.com ‘s Handsome Husband died on the 21st of April from cancer.  She is going through a dreadful time.  She is angry, very angry… Alison I don’t expect you to do anything with this award but I am nominating you so you can know I am thinking of you.  Hugs of strength to you.
  18. Optie at http://walking-on-eggshells.com is another fellow South African whose blog I enjoy for her humour.  Optie has however also been an amazing friend – always leaving a little message of encouragement.  Thank you Optie.

RULES:

  1. Winners re-post this completely, with their acceptance speech. That could be written down or video recorded.
  2. Winners have the privilege of awarding the next awardees! The re-post should include a NEW list of people, blogs worthy of the award, and winners.  Notify them the great news.
  3. What makes a good acceptance speech?
    1. Gratitude. Thank the people who helped you along the way.
    2. Humour-Keep us entertained and smiling.
    3. Inspiration – Make your story touch our lives.
    4. Get an idea from the great acceptance speech, compiled in MomentMatters.com/speech
    5. Display the award’s badge on your blog/website, downloadable in MomentMatters.com/Award

I would like to encourage you to visit some of these blogs.  It will be a worthwhile visit…

BEST MOMENT AWARD

BEST MOMENT AWARD

I would like to thank my dear friend Shaun, at prayingforoneday for this award. He ia an amazing person with a big heart and always ready to support and encourage.  Shaun suffers from Chronic Pain and despite living in debilitating pain, continues to be a source of support and encouragement for a great many of us. 

best moment award 

 

Awarding the people who live in the moment,
the noble who write and capture the best in life,
the bold who reminded us what really mattered –
Savouring the experience of quality time.

 

RULES:

  1. Winners re-post this completely, with their acceptance speech. That could be written down or video recorded.
  2. Winners have the privilege of awarding the next awardees! The re-post should include a NEW list of people, blogs worthy of the award, and winners notify them the great news.
  3. What makes a good acceptance speech?

Gratitude. Thank the people who helped you along the way.

Humour-Keep us entertained and smiling.

Inspiration – Make your story touch our lives.

Get an idea from the great acceptance speech, compiled in MomentMatters.com/speech

  1. Display the award’s badge on your blog/website, downloadable in MomentMatters.com/Award

 

My Acceptance:

I started blogging as a coping mechanism just after the doctors told us they could do nothing for Vic and my brave child decided “no more surgeries…”  I blogged Vic’s quest to die with dignity.  I now blog about my all-consuming grief and sense of loss.

As a child I changed schools 12 times in total.  Academically I coped by I did not cope with the emotional side of it.

I allow very few people close to me.  I find it hard to form bonds with people.  I always expect them to leave my live – I don’t think I suffer from Rejection issues – just separation issues.   It is easier to keep people at bay – If I don’t rely on people they cannot disappoint or hurt me.

On WordPress I found a safe world.  A world where people care and support.  If they leave, as many have, it is okay because they are faceless.  Yet there are people that have never wavered in their support and encouragement.

I have received a number of awards lately that I am busy accepting.  If you are not nominated here please just check my next posts.  I am taking my time because I truly want to acknowledge my blogging friends and their contribution in my journey.  I will nominate my friends in no particular or of importance…

Shaun, thank you again for this award,

My nominees are compassionate, caring people who all suffer their own pain and loss.  Please visit their blogs and I promise you will find goodness and bravery there!

Thank you all for allowing me to heal here.

Vic, this award is for you my precious, beautiful, brave baby girl.  I love you Angel Child!

The 15 people I award:

1.    UntraveledRoads

Jane is a wonderful blogger who writes about living through pain.

She so eloquently writes   “Not writing about how to grasp joy – just about trying to find joy through the labyrinth of pain. Because if I don’t keep joy in my sights, I will drown. It is about the space – like a sunlit meadow – beyond pain that one can reach – or grasp – or glimpse. A place of peace while pain drums in the background. Why try? Because if I do not, what is the point at all?

OK. So I don’t want to write about pain. I live with it. But it has been such an extraordinary journey with such unexpected bonuses that I must write about the plus side – the up side, the fun, humour and bittersweet of living with pain. The irony is that I don’t want it, but I wouldn’t return what I have learnt through it.”

I hope you accept this award!

2  http://grannyscolorful.wordpress.com/  Gloria lost her son, Tommy, when he collapsed at the beach (Myrtle Beach, S.C.) whilst playing with his little son, Taban.  He died with little Taban near him.  Tommy had 2 blockages in his heart that no one was aware of.

Gloria writes about her precious son Tommy and her grief.  Gloria has become a friend and has been such a source of encouragement and understanding.  Gloria has 1236 followers and yet she finds the time to read my blog and comment on my blog.  Thank you so much for caring!!  You are an amazing person!

Gloria recently published her book.  Good luck with the book dear Gloria.

3 http://thresholdofheaven.com/

Peter Wiebe has closed down his blog.  Yet I am compelled to nominate Peter for this award.

Peter wrote:  “My name is Peter Wiebe. I am a husband and father of 4 boys-the oldest of which has gone ahead of us to Heaven after a courageous battle with cancer at the age of 10. I am a Christian and thus write from a Christian perspective. Although my faith was/is being severely tested by the loss of my firstborn son, my hope lies in Jesus Christ and all that the Bible teaches regarding Him, His death and resurrection, and our future hope of glory with Him. This blog is a journey through grief, about cultivating an eternal mindset in a temporary world, about all things related to faith, and life after death. I dedicate this blog to Jesse’s memory and hope that its contents will draw others nearer to God.”

I once wrote to Peter “I envy you your faith and peace.” Peter prays for me and I am so grateful for that.  How do I know?  I know because he still visits my blog and continues to encourage and support me.  Peter has become a wonderful cyber friend.  I am grateful for the healing that he found.  Thank you Peter!

4.  http://justiceforraymond.wordpress.com

Shirley is a brave mother fighting for justice after the suspicious death of her beloved son, Raymond.  She is fearless!  This lady is selflessly fighting for justice, not only for her son but for other innocent victims.

The reason for her blog is “Finding that one person who will step out to defend the innocent even when they are dead.  Help us tell Pennsylvania this needs an investigation, not just a cover-up. it is our sincere prayer to find the true cause of Ray’s death and help others who have experienced a similar crime.”

Shirley is a good cyber friend – always encouraging and supporting!  Thank you brave lady.  I pray that you will find closure and answers!!!

5.  http://thedrsays.org

 

Sandra is one of the bravest people I know.  She is dying from congenital heart failure.  She writes about her journey with terminal illness, impending death and her concern for leaving her husband Chris behind.  She is so like Vic!!  As brave, courageous, stubborn and loving!  Her blog fills me with so much sadness and yet it gives me an insight into Vic’s heart and mind.  I truly hope she will accept this award.  Sandra, thank-you for your love, support, advice and friendship.  You are one in a million!  I wish I could make the same difference in your life that you make in mine.

6. http://onewomansperspective02.wordpress.com 

Becky writes about her son, Jason (19), who died in a car accident.

In Becky’s own words:…. ”(Jason) A game player – chess (his absolute favorite), video games, volleyball, basketball,  board games. Intelligent – studying to be a computer engineer; tutored students in math. He gave great hugs and brightened up a room just by walking into it. A great young man; a wonderful son, brother, friend.

In a split second, he was gone and our lives were changed forever.

My goal for writing this blog is to promote understanding – for bereaved parents and for those around them. I do not claim to know what it’s like to walk in someone else’s shoes nor do I claim to speak as an expert on grief. I would not presume to know what anyone else is feeling nor what they are experiencing. Everyone is different; each situation is different; each grief and griever is unique. The only thing I know is what we experienced. But, if my speaking about what we went through can promote even a small degree of understanding, then I have accomplished what I set out to do.”

Thank you Becky for your kindness and support.  Thank you for your guidance and compassion.

7. http://johannisthinking.com –   This blog is filled with beautiful poetry.  The heart of this lovely blogger is contained in her own words “my heart bleeds with all those who lost their lives this day…and all who mourn their lost…WE can all do better…for the memory of all those who have died…let us try to BE our best selves always!”  Thank you for your friendship and support!  http://johannisthinking.com/category/poetry-solitude/

8. http://beebeesworld.wordpress.com – Beebee ia an advocate of Parent Heart Watch, an organization that promotes education on the prevention and care of those with heart issues.   Beebee’s 15 year old son died of a sudden heart attack whilst playing baseball. Beebee is a brave mother and has become a cyber-friend.  She writes beautifully and courageously.  Thank you BB for your kind words of encouragement.

9. http://forphilip.wordpress.com/2013/04/06/they-found-him-day-2-part-2/  Denise Smyth is the loving mother of two children, Philip and Natalie, who are (of course) the great loves of her life.

Denise writes “On February 23rd, 2012, I found out that my son, who had turned 21 the month before, died. It was sudden and unexpected. I was devastated, heartbroken, terrified, none of which comes close to describing what I really felt. It’s just the best I can do at the moment.”

Denise’s’ blog is a brave blog.  It is filled with raw emotion and unconditional love.

10. http://jmgoyder.com/  

Julie lives on a retired dairy farm in Western Australia with her “99.9% lovely, teenage son”.   Julie is a retired lecturer in English and Creative Writing at a local university.  Julie’s beloved husband Anthony has cancer, dementia and Parkinson’s disease.

Julie blog is a beautiful love story filled with her fears and anguish of seeing her Anthony slip deeper and deeper into another world.  Julie arranges wonderful outings for Anthony and includes their friends in his world.  I admire her that she is not trying to “hide” her husband from the cruel eyes of the world.  Her love is unconditional and inspiring.  She writes beautifully and has been a great source of comfort to me.  Thank you dear friend for sharing your love and pain with us. 

Thank you for your kindness and friendship.  You are a very special person.

11.  http://lymphomajourney.wordpress.com

Andrew is the author of an e-book, Living with Cancer: A Journey,

This eBook captures his first three years of Lymphoma diagnosis, treatment, recovery, relapse, treatment, and again recovery. He keeps a daily personal journal to capture both the medical and personal things going on during this journey.  I find Andrew’s blog to be filled with not only facts but also his“journey”.  He is a very gifted writer.  Andrew has become a friend.  Thank you for your continued support Andrew!!

12.  http://behindthemaskofabuse.com  Zoe is a wonderfully gifted author who has had two books published on Amazon  “Buckwheatsrisk-Abuse Survival”,  and a poetry book entitled “If I Could Write my Heart”  Zoe has endured dreadful abuse, at every level, as a child.  Zoe is working so hard at healing…Zoe has 658 followers and receives lots of comments.  Yet, every day there is a “Hug” or “Like” message from her.  She has emailed me…Zoe, I appreciate your support and caring.  Thank you for taking the time to email me!

 

13.  http://doilooksick.wordpress.com/

Rachel referred to Vic as a “China Doll”…  How precious was that comment??   I was drawn to Rachel’s blog because she suffers from endometriosis.  Vic too suffered very badly from endometriosis… I recall the first time I read one of Rachel’s posts she wrote about the searing pain of endometriosis.  I was able to understand Vic’s pain better from Rachel’s blog.  Rachel’s blog is about music – as a coping mechanisme.  There are real good songs to listen to on this blog.

 

14.  http://tothatplace.wordpress.com/

Aarthi  dedicated  another beautiful poem to Vic and I –http://tothatplace.wordpress.com/2013/04/13/we-were-one/  Aarthi is one of my favourite poets and Vic and I enjoyed her work immensely.  Aarthi has become a compassionate friend.  Please visit Aarthi’s site (linked above) and read the beautiful poem honouring Vic.  Thank you Aarthi for your love, compassion, friendship and sharing your gift!!!  Thank you for bringing joy to Vic’s life when she found very little joy in living anymore.

15.   http://grammarofgrief.wordpress.com – Una

I am unable to articulate words for Una’s blog so I will use her own:  “When you’re stuck in the quicksand of grief, coming unstuck takes time, tenderness and a loving tribe. You’re feverishly seeking answers. What will help fix the plumbing of my leaky tear ducts? Will I ever feel normal again? How many weeks or months will it take for this awful, gut-wrenching pain to go away?

The Grammar of Grief is where I attempt to unscramble the craziness of grief for you. It is a resource for both the grieving and those who need tips and tools to support loved ones who are mourning. This is both your safe space and how-to resource. There’s room for everyone.”

Una has been a source of great comfort to me.  Thank you Una!

16. http://myjourneysinsight.com/

Judy Unger’s son, Jason, was born with a serious congenital heart defect called “Transposition of the Great Vessels.” As with most heart defects, his was “one of a kind.” Jason had surgery when he was two and a half months old. He had another one when he was five. He died following that surgery.

It doesn’t seem to matter that I addressed my grief for years and years after my son’s death.  Eighteen years later Judy finds it painful to write how it felt to have her beloved son’s soul amputated from her heart and body.

Judy writes beautiful songs and dedicated two songs to Vic:- “I know that soon you will leave” and “Never gone away”  http://myjourneysinsight.com/2012/12/20/how-will-i-ever-say-goodbye/  Judy is an incredibly gifted illustrationist.  She writes beautiful words and songs!  She has held my hand throughout Vic’s journey and now mine.  Thank you dearest Judy for your love, support and compassion.  One day we will meet!!

Lots of love and thanks to each and every one of you who has supported Vic and I in our journey.  She was grateful that I had found an “outlet” and support in Blogging!

Very Inspiring Blogger Award 2013


20130215045341Thanks to http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/03/19/the-very-inspiring-blogger-award/comment-page-2/#comment-2971 for THE VERY INSPIRING BLOGGER AWARD. Thank you Shaun!

Shaun suffers of Chronic Pain Syndrome yet devotes himself to creating a better world.  Shaun says “Love the people in your life, be happy, stay strong and always fight to better yourself. Some hide away and shy from the world, and live alone and die alone. We all are guilty, as if we reach out, others reach back. I reach out with every blog I do, and people do reach back.”  Pop in and read this incredible blog…

I now have to say 7 new things about myself:

  • 1. I love the sea.
  • 2. I am scared of spiders!
  • 3. I was born with wings on my feet.  I love travelling!
  • 4. I suffer from Airport Rage
  • 5. I fear Alzheimer’s!
  • 6. I don’t suffer fools lightly
  • 7. I love to learn about other cultures and areas of the world

I now have to name 15 people who I hope will share this award 

  1. http://namelessinthedust.wordpress.com
  2. http://johannisthinking.com/
  3. http://whatcherylsaid.wordpress.com
  4. http://dlmchale.com
  5. http://justiceforraymond.wordpress.com
  6. http://barefootbaroness.org/2012/02/25/1343/
  7. http://idealisticrebel.wordpress.com
  8. http://valeriedavies.com/
  9. http://wishwebber.com
  10. http://grannyscolorful.wordpress.com/
  11. http://buckwheatsrisk.com/
  12. http://myownheart.me/
  13. http://walking-on-eggshells.com
  14. http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/
  15. http://myjourneysinsight.com

The bloggers above have all have meaningful blogs that have enriched my life.  I consider them friends and am grateful for their love and support.  They are not the only bloggers that have supported me in my journey of grief but are the most frequent commenters.  Go give them a visit.

Thank you Shaun for the award and your continued support!

Liebster Award


liebster awardI want to thank Tracy Rydzy – http://ohwhatapain.wordpress.com/author/ohwhatapain/ for nominating me for the Liebster Award…Tracy suffers debilitating, chronic pain but bravely soldiers on with life.  I have great admiration for her and her blog.  Her blog gave me unbelievable insight into Vic’s pain.   Thank you Tracy!!

I graciously and humbly accept.

 Rules of The Liebster Award

1. You must thank the person who gave you this award
2. You must display the Liebster heart on your blog
3. You should nominate 7 other blogs
4. Each person must post 11 things about themselves
5. Answer the questions given to you by the blogger who nominated you
6. Create 11 questions for those you nominate to answer
7. Notify your nominees and provide a link back to your post.

As for the 7 blogs that I nominate:  This is so difficult as there are many bloggers that I follows slavishly.  They have become friends.  These bloggers have been such a source of support!  I hope I get another award soon, so I can pass it onto the rest of my favorite bloggers!

1-     http://beebeesworld.wordpress.com

2-     http://sophieandemile.wordpress.com/

3-     http://myjourneysinsight.com/

4-     http://thedrsays.org

5-     http://jmgoyder.com/

6-     http://ayannanahmias.com

7-   http://justiceforraymond.wordpress.com

8-   http://missmorgansmom.wordpress.com/

9-  http://writerightmel.wordpress.com

 

11 things about me:

1. I love to write. It is a coping mechanism

2. I smile and laugh when my heart breaks.
3. I love unconditionally
5. I love getting awards for my blog.
6. I have very few friends.
7. I love reality television…I am a reality junky.
8. I am a good gran
9. I love working – I am a workaholic
10. I think my husband is the most handsome man in the universe
11. I work in the arms industry

.My 11 questions: 

1) What inspired you to begin blogging?
My precious child’s final journey whilst dying.

2) What’s your favourite blog post ever published by you? (so I can go read it!)
Being Treated Like a Drug Addict and Pain is Not Pretty.

3) What’s your favourite hobby?
Working and my grandchildren

4) Cats or dogs and why?
I am not an animal person.  Cats freak me out.

5) Are you a city person or a country person?
I am a city girl longing to be a country girl…

6) Extroverted or introverted?

People think I am an extrovert but I am an “alone” person.  Very few people ever get close to me

7) Are you a good judge of character?
Yes

8) What is your favourite genre of music?
Classical and country

9) Are you a morning person or do you prefer the night?
I am a night owl

10) Warm colours or cold colours?
Depends on the outfit.

11) 2 things you’d be miserable without for a day?
Tea and my family

11 questions for my nominees:

1) Are you addicted to your STATS?
2) What country do you live in?
3) How many friends would you have on a major birthday party guest list?
4) What is your favourite post?
5) Who is your inspiration when writing?
6) Introvert or extrovert?
7) Why do you read my blog?

8) Favourite quote?
9) Favourite holiday location?
10) How long have you been writing?
11) Favourite TV show?

 

 

Lovely Blog Award


I was recently nominated for the Lovely Blog Award and graciously accept. It is indeed a great honor when someone of Melba’s calibre acknowledges my blog. http://poemattic.wordpress.com/2012/10/20/lovely-blogger-award-nomination-continued/  Melba Christie is an extremely gifted poet and writes  “Poetry is life. It is a big part of my life.”  Melba is truly passionate about poetry

The Rules for the Lovely Blog Award:

– Thank the person who nominated you and link to them in your post.
– Share seven unknown things about yourself.
– Nominate other bloggers and blogs that you like or admire.
– Contact the bloggers you nominate to let them know and to link them back to your post.

  1. I cry in the shower
  2. Danie (my husband) was the first man, with children, I ever dated.  I was scared of children and the complications they bring….I only dated single, childless men
  3. I find gardening therapeutic
  4. I am a Crime Channel TV junkie
  5. I HATE and DETEST lying.  It is unforgivable
  6. I have not worked to a budget in years
  7. I paint.

I have nominated the following bloggers because I enjoy their blogs very much and have found their personal journeys and comments helpful:

  1. http://sickocean.wordpress.com/
  2. http://thresholdofheaven.com/
  3. http://storiesformymom.wordpress.com/
  4. http://lymphomajourney.wordpress.com/
  5. http://thedrsays.org/
  6. http://dlmchale.com/
  7. http://grammarofgrief.wordpress.com/
  8. http://eis4em.wordpress.com/
  9. http://drbillwooten.com/

There are many, many more wonderful bloggers.  The nominated bloggers listed above mean a lot to me.  Some of them are very ill and others have lost dear ones.  Some are an absolute source of amazing information.  Aarthi Raghavan http://sickocean.wordpress.com/ wrote a beautiful poem and dedicated it to Vic and I.

The above bloggers all have a special place in my heart.  I urge you to take the time to visit their blogs.

Melba, once again I thank you for your beautiful poetry and this award.  I am honoured!!

Beautiful Blogger Award


A very gifted young lady has honored me by awarding me the Beautiful Blogger Award.  Not only did she honor me in this manner but she also wrote some really flattering things about my blog.  Pat is a very gifted and published writer and this truly makes this award so special!   Pat also paints silks and makes beautiful handmade gifts.  Please check this out and join me as being one of Pat’s loyal blog-followers/ fans.  http://patwoodblogging.wordpress.com/pats-pop-up-shop-october-2012/

Pat thank you for this award.  Thank you for all your heartfelt comments and loyal following of my blog.

You are truly a Beautiful Blogger.

Seven things about myself:

  1. I am a frustrated amateur photographer
  2. I used to gamble
  3. I love watching TV
  4. I think that cooking is a labor of love….
  5. I bake a mean Christmas Cake that comes with an age restriction
  6. I only learnt to cook in my 30’s and bake in my 40’s
  7. I drink at least 20 cups of tea a day

Now here is where I get to nominate other people:

I suggest you check out:

  1. http://jesussavingmefromme.wordpress.com
  2. http://idealisticrebel.wordpress.com/
  3. http://throughthehealinglens.com/
  4. http://writerightmel.wordpress.com/
  5. http://jmgoyder.com/
  6. http://picturesofsilverbyjanice.wordpress.com/category/sculptures-silver-art-jewelry/
  7. http://valeriedavies.com/
  8. http://rachturner.wordpress.com/
  9. http://whatcherylsaid.wordpress.com/
  10. http://ohwhatapain.wordpress.com/
  11. http://ourlonggoodbye.wordpress.com/

I do hope you will go and take a look at them. They really deserve their awards and your visit.

Thank you again Pat for your kind nomination. I will do my best to be a Beautiful Blogger!

http://patwoodblogging.wordpress.com/

Is there pain after death?


Andrew, (http://lymphomajourney.wordpress.com ), suffers from mantle cell lymphoma (MCL).  Andrew says “I am a husband, father of a teenage son and daughter, brother, a Canadian government executive with a wide range of international and domestic experience, who likes reading, film, music, walking, cycling, skating, being with family and friends.”  Andrew is a phenomenal source of information.  I sometimes think he has a full-time research team constantly researching all aspects of lymphoma and terminal illness.  I often refer back to his blog.  Please take time to visit his blog.

Andrew posted this earlier today.  You may know that palliative care is my favorite hobbyhorse.  I have fought for my child to have a “good death”.  Thank you Andrew for sharing this article with us!

Is there pain after death?

Posted by  on Oct 5, 2012 in Cancer Care, Featured, Life & Health | 4 comments

Is there pain after death?

A grandfather-father-husband-salesman-cook-gardener-hiker-gentleman, adored by many, is struck down by cancer.  His disease is particularly horrible, spreading quickly though his body causing damage not only to bone and organ, but to sinew and nerve. He suffers terrible pain for weeks, relieved poorly with inadequate doses of inferior medications, thrashing in misery witnessed by his kin, always at the bedside, ages seven to seventy.  Finally, uncomfortable and agitated until the end, he dies.  Does his pain continue after death?

Pain that is not relieved in a person’s life continues after they are gone, held as a sordid memory by loved ones.  Just as we retain treasured thoughts of joy, wisdom and warmth, we preserve images of pain.  Unrequited suffering contaminates memory, preventing healing, healthy grieving and closure. This pain in turn flows across our communities, touching many who may never have met the patient.

This does not have to be somatic discomfort to be treated with pain medication.  Shortness of breath, seizures, nausea, wounds and bleeding cast intense images that last more than one lifetime.  Uncontrolled anxiety or fear may contaminate a family and corrupt its fiber, as can loss of spiritual path, loneliness, or guilt.  Failure to settle past wrongs or mixed intentions results in a loss of opportunity, a psychic wound that will never heal.

A poorly managed end-of-life experience can transform families for generations.  I recently heard of a young man who suffered a miserable protracted death from cancer.  This resulted in his wife becoming chronically depressed and isolated from her family.   She committed suicide, leaving their son a life as an alcoholic and drug addict.  The ripples from that one cancer spread out and, through the network of that family, caused pain for many more.

When we think of end-of-life planning, we focus on those immediate moments for the patient and family, as well we should.  The opportunity to live one’s life well, even at its end, should not be denied, and must be the first goal of palliative medicine and hospice.  However, we cannot overstate the need and potential to protect and even nourish future generations by treating pain of all types in patients with terminal illness, and in families sharing that passage.

There is pain after death, and I suspect it is the cause of much waste, anger and tragedy in our society. We must strive to prevent that suffering.  Good things are possible, loved ones can be together, memories shared, and solid foundations laid. Patients, families, doctors and caregivers must protect and treasure even this difficult time of a person’s life, because as one life ends, others are beginning.  http://sunriserounds.com/?p=920

Danie – the “Wind Beneath My Wings”!


Today my beloved Danie turned 74.  He is an absolutely amazing person.  He has the wonderful ability to love and to be loved.

I met this amazing man through mutual friends 24 years ago.  It was two weeks before his 50th birthday.  I casually asked whether he was going to have a big party and he said “no”.  He was newly divorced and did not feel up to a party.  In a moment of pity I said “Well, nobody should be alone on his birthday.  If you are not doing anything pop around for a glass of wine…”

He duly popped around for a glass of wine.  After a couple of glasses of wine I asked him if he had dinner.  He said “No” and I said I would see if I could throw together a tuna salad…  I opened my fridge and it was pretty empty.  Some salad stuff, milk, apples and a couple of bottles of wine…

I managed to put a salad together but I could see the birthday boy was not overly impressed.  I was not concerned at all.  He was far too good looking and newly divorced so I did not want to get involved with him.  I had been divorced for many years and Vic was used to it just being the two of us.

I dodged all Danie’s advances for more than a year.  On the 8th of December 1989 I accompanied Danie to a black tie event.  At the function I could not help but notice the reverence his colleagues had for him.  He danced like a dream and remembered that it was my birthday at 12 O Clock….  It was truly a fairy tale night and I fell hopelessly in love.

Vic immediately sensed that there was danger!  She referred to him as “that man”…. She cried a lot and wanted to come home from boarding school.  Vic made a 360 degree turn around.   She went from wanting to go to boarding school to wanting to move home… from independent to needy… from being a difficult teenager to being an impossible teenager.

I met Danie’s children.  I was terrified!  I did not know or like children.  My life was structured, neat, organized and perfect.  I was totally committed to my career.  I had property, a business, lots of friends, a healthy bank balance and my own toolbox.  I did not need any complications in my life!!

I prayed so hard so direction… I explained to God that I was so scared of making a mistake that would affect so many people’s lives.  I asked for a clear scripture!

I opened my Bible and the scripture that jumped up at me was Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 “9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! 11 Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? 12 And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

I immediately went back on my knees and prayed again.  “God, thank you for the scripture you gave me but what about all the children?”

I opened my Bible and it fell open on page 793 of the Old Testament.  Isaiah 54:1-17 “Sing, O barren one, who did not bear; break forth into singing and cry aloud, you who have not been in labor! For the children of the desolate one will be more than the children of her who is married,” says the Lord. “Enlarge the place of your tent, and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out; do not hold back; lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes. For you will spread abroad to the right and to the left, and your offspring will possess the nations and will people the desolate cities. “Fear not, for you will not be ashamed; be not confounded, for you will not be disgraced; for you will forget the shame of your youth, and the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more. “

Barren? That was me…  The day after Danie’s 52nd birthday we were married.

So tomorrow this wonderful man and I will celebrate our 22ND Anniversary.  We have managed to create a “home” for our five children.  The children, I feared, I now love as my own.  Two of the four call me “Mom”.  Their children are MY grandchildren.  They allow us to be part of the children’s lives and do not discriminate between the grandmothers.  From the day we were married Vic has called Danie “Daddy”.  Danie’s four children are her siblings.  They are our infrastructure.

Danie has been so absolutely amazing with Vic and her illness.  When my dad moved in with us Danie just accepted it as part of our journey.  He was incredibly patient with my Dad who suffered from Alzheimers.  He is my back-up system.  His selfless, caring nature has allowed me to pursue my career.  I am able to travel internationally for my work as he is home…..he is my back-up.  He fetches and carries the boys.  He checks on Vic and loves her and the boys unconditionally.  He shops and manages the home in my absence.  He thinks I am beautiful and smart.

This beautiful man is more than I deserve.  I love him with every fiber of my body.  I am grateful to him for the gift of his children and grandchildren every day of my life.  I am grateful that he taught me the biggest commandment of all – love!

So tonight I salute a wonderful man, husband, father and grandfather.  He is my best friend.  He is an amazing father to Vic.  Thank you God!

He is truly “The wind beneath my wings”  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9ZMDPf9hZw&feature=colike

Lovely Blog Award


Lovely Blog Award

I was recently nominated for the lovely blog award and graciously accept. Thank you Tracy Rydzy for this nomination.  http://ohwhatapain.wordpress.com.

Tracy has opened my eyes to the world of the chronic pain sufferer.  Vic hides things from me because she tries to protect me.  I am so healthy and do not know or understand pain.  Tracy articulates pain and her journey beautifully and I am grateful to her for sharing her painful journey with the world.  It is such a valuable source of information!  It has given me an insight into the dark, fearsome world of pain.  Thank you Tracy and all the people who I nominated.  You and bloggers like Katie Mitchell – http://connectivetissuedisorders.wordpress.com, (who nominated Tracy), have made my world a better place.  I thank you all.

The Rules for The Lovely Blog Award:

– Thank the person who nominated you and link to them in your post.
– Share seven unknown things about yourself.
– Nominate other bloggers and blogs that you like or admire.
– Contact the bloggers you nominate to let them know and to link them back to your post.

1. I cry in the shower
2. I only learnt to cook after I got married – the 2nd time!
3. My ultimate career would be to be a spy.
4. I want to be the oldest person to ever skydive
5. I read the eulogy section in the newspapers
6. I feel guilty because I am so healthy.
7. I am a loner.

I have nominated the following bloggers because I enjoy their blogs very much and have found their information and comments helpful:

http://grammarofgrief.wordpress.com

http://thedrsays.org

http://ourlonggoodbye.wordpress.com

http://missmorgansmom.wordpress.com

http://dlmchale.com

http://poemattic.wordpress.com

http://fullcircledme.wordpress.com

I hope that you will take time out of your schedule to check out some of these beautiful bloggers.  It is truly inspiring.

Silver Quill Bloggers Award


The Silver Quill Blogger Award

Lucinda  Elliot, an accomplished writer, nominated me for the Silver Quill  Bloggers Award. Her e-book ‘That Scoundrel Emile Dubois or The Light of Other Days’ came out in August and available from FirstyFish, Amazon, Smashwords, etc.  Thank you Lucinda.  I am so thrilled that a professional, published writer has nominated me!  Lucinda’s blog address is: http://sophieandemile.wordpress.com/ and it is well worth visiting it! I use my blog as a coping mechanism.  I have never written professionally, had anything published nor have I had any training.

My answers to the seven questions: –

1.  Do you prefer rhyming or non rhyming poetry?

Rhyming, without a doubt.

2.  Favourite Shakespeare play?

I first read Macbeth as a child and although I own the complete set of Shakespearian works, Macbeth remains my favorite.  The witches scene is liltingly beautiful and is what drew me into Shakespeare’s world.  We visited his birthplace and Anne Hathaway’s cottage in December.

3.  Favourite author?

At the present, June Rachuy Brindle for her wonderful books on the Theseus legend, ‘Ariadne’ and ‘Phaedra’.

4.  Name three people you admire.

Firstly – Nelson Mandela – one of the greatest statesmen the world has ever seen (and I have ever been privileged to meet)!   Secondly – Archbishop Desmond Tutu who is the fairest and most just man I have ever met and most importantly my beautiful daughter Vicky.  Vicky has battled ill health all her life, beaten all odds and astounded the medical world by surviving the death sentence she was born with.  She does not know how to give up.

5. What is your favourite music album?

Phantom of the Opera – Andrew Lloyd Webber

6.  Which colour do you most dislike?

Grey

7.  Name a poem or song which makes you feel emotional.

‘”Never Alone” featuring Hillary Scott and Lady Antebellum  (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnNK4Alwbsw)

According to the rules, I must nominate five other bloggers.

These are : –

1. http://missmorgansmom.wordpress.com/ 

2.  http://patwoodblogging.wordpress.com

3.  http://hastywords.wordpress.com

4.  http://ourlonggoodbye.wordpress.com/

5.  http://dlmchale.com/

To Accept the Award Nominees Must Follow These Simple Rules

1. Copy the award logo and paste it onto your post.

2. Thank the person who nominated you and link back to them.

3. Answer the seven questions about yourself.

4. Nominate five more people.

Beautiful Blogger Award


Tracy Rydzy – http://ohwhatapain.wordpress.com nominated me for the Beautiful Blogger Award.  Tracy’s blog is a true eye-opener to me.  Tracy deals with chronic and severe back pain every day of her life.  Through her words I have learnt to understand Vic’s pain, frustrations and despair better.  Tracy also has a superb sense of humor.  I recommend Tracy’s blog to everyone who is either in pain, or who has a loved one in pain.

Tracy, I am humbled by your nomination.  I am absolutely thrilled!!!  And yes, yes, yes I accept!  Thank you very much!

Beautiful Blogger Award:

The Rules for The Beautiful Blogger Award:

  • Write a little something about the Beautiful Blogger who nominated you with the award. See above. And don’t forget to go and check his out too.
  • Share 7 things about yourself: I can only hope to keep you interested!!
  1. I don’t have a romantic bone in my body
  2. I have the rare ability to love unconditionally.  This is part of my heritage that I treasure most
  3. My GP closed my file  because he thought I had relocated or died….I am one of the healthiest people on earth!
  4. I don’t read mushy love stories.
  5. I have been married for 22 years to a wonderful man.  He cares for Vicky and her boys as if they are his own.  He is The Wind Beneath My Wings
  6. We do not have a special song…..
  7. I know more about armored vehicles than cooking.
  •   Nominate 7 other bloggers for the award:

I have nominated the following bloggers because I enjoy their blogs very much and have found their information and comments helpful:

  1. http://nogramsmom.wordpress.com/
  2. http://onewomansperspective02.wordpress.com/
  3. http://halfwaybetweenthegutter.wordpress.com
  4. http://grammarofgrief.wordpress.com
  5. http://lightinthechaos.wordpress.com
  6. http://pamelahesterking.wordpress.com
  7. http://staciegh.wordpress.com