Dying is a lonely journey. Not only for the sick person but also for the family. As hard as we may try to avoid death, the truth is that we do a lousy job of it. Science and medicine will certainly postpone it, even staying healthy might seem to delay it, but the harsh reality is that death does not wait for you, it does not ask you, and it does not listen to you. Death ignores your feelings and wants; you do not matter to death…Death is the only certainty in life! We need to remember that our existence here is fragile, and we never have as much time with people as we think we do. If there is someone or someones out there that you love, don’t neglect that and don’t put off engaging with them because waits for no-one… Vic's Journey ended on 18 January 2013 at 10:35. She was the most courageous person in the world and has inspired thousands of people all over the world. Vic's two boys are monuments of her existence. She was an amazing mother, daughter, sister and friend. I will miss you today, tomorrow and forever my Angle Child.
Vic has had 81 abdominalsurgeries in her life. Vic’s first abdominal operation was at the age of 10 when she had her first batch of endometrioses surgically removed.
Endometriosis is a gynecological medical condition in which cells from the lining of the uterus (endometrium) appear and flourish outside the uterine cavity, most commonly on the peritoneum which lines the abdominal cavity. The uterine cavity is lined with endometrial cells, which are under the influence of female hormones.
Endometriosis is typically seen during the reproductive years and it has been estimated that endometriosis occurs in roughly 6–10% of women.
About 93%–100% of people undergoing abdominal or pelvic surgery will form adhesions, but luckily most do not have complications of the adhesions. Adhesions may also result from infectious processes, such as pelvic inflammatory disease.
Abdominal adhesions are bands of fibrous scar tissue that form on organs in the abdomen, causing the organs to stick to one another or to the wall of the abdomen. Scar tissue most commonly develops after abdominal surgery, in which organs are handled by the surgical team and are shifted temporarily from their normal positions. It can also form in people who develop peritonitis, an infection that has spread to the membrane that covers the abdominal organs. Vic has developed peritonitis on numerous occasions. Peritonitis usually occurs after appendicitis or another abdominal infection such as Vic first developed after her blotched surgery when her small bowel was perforated. https://tersiaburger.com/2012/10/19/the-albatross/
In most patients, adhesions do not cause health problems. In a small number of people, like Vic, the fibrous bands of scar tissue block the intestines either completely or partially. This blockage is called a bowel obstruction, and it leads to death in about 5% of cases. Sometimes, an area of intestine that is affected by adhesions can keep becoming blocked then unblocked, causing symptoms to come and go. In about 10% of small-bowel obstructions, a portion of the bowel twists tightly around a band of adhesions. This cuts off the normal blood supply to the twisted bowel, causing what is called strangulation, and that section of bowel begins to die. When this emergency happens, the person must be taken to surgery immediately. The death rate is as high as 37% in people who develop strangulation.
Literally meters, of different parts of Vic’s intestines, has been removed. Every time Vic had an obstruction she had surgery. Vic has needed skin grafts to cover open wounds. Vic developed numerous gastrointestinal fistulas. Due to the extremely thin layer of skin covering her intestines the intestines have chaffed through. Vic would lose up to 7 liters of feces per day, through the fistula.
Now we cope with partial obstructions on a weekly basis. We battle with poor absorption because Vic has lost critical parts of her intestines. Vic will not have further surgery. My child has been to hell and back.
Pain at the end of life is inescapably interwoven with, and often amplified by, multiple levels of emotional and spiritual angst as the inevitability of death looms. Fear, a potent pain magnifier, is the dominant emotion – fear of pain, fear of death, fear of the unknown…..
It is a fact that people at the end of life fear pain even more than they fear death. Sadly, for many dying patients, pain seems like the ultimate torment, and death is its cure. It does not have to be this way, and if you or a loved one is facing death, you have every right to ask that your final days not be consumed by pain.
It is estimated that a maximum of 5% of people who die from terminal illness in South Africa have access to adequate palliative care. Even in hospitals, treatment is far from ideal, because doctors and nurses have seldom had training in palliative care and have little idea of what to do with the patients.
Dying patients are often prey to a host of anxieties about the state of their affairs, about the fate of those who will grieve their loss, and about how their behaviour will be seen, and possibly judged, during their final hours. And of course, there are often deep spiritual and religious questions to address. Did my life have meaning? Will my soul survive my body? Am I at peace with myself, my family, and my friends?
Not least of all these concerns, people at the end of life worry about how their pain will be managed. Will they be under medicated and have to ask, or even beg for relief? Will they be over-medicated and lose consciousness during their precious waning days and hours?
They may even be afraid to complain. If they do, will they be seen as whiners or quitters? If they ask for narcotics, will they be judged by their doctors as drug seeking, drug addicts or even cowardly? Or will their medical care be relegated to comfort measures only, while all efforts to cure their illness are suspended?
I read the post of an amazing woman who is suffering from congenital heart failure. She is in so much pain. I cried when I read her post. http://thedrsays.org/2012/11/08/ She replied to a question whether better pain control was possible….. “there is nothing that will let me participate in life and have relief. so at this point i am going for being lucid over some so-so pain relief. who knows how long before i cave. when the time comes i plan to take advantage of whatever is available to me. just my personal choice right now.”
Vic has received a new lease on life. Vic has 100% better quality of life since her pain is under control. We discovered, through the expertise of a wonderful palliative care team that Vic’s body did not absorb monstrous quantities of morphine! Now she is not only functioning, she is LIVING! Vic is more lucid than she was before.
The pain was killing Vic… Palliative care has given her life.
I have traveled to 50 odd countries. I have filled up quite a few passports. I am a seasoned traveler I suffer from airport rage. I hate the “hurry up and wait” part of travelling. I hate queues and I HATE sitting so close to other people!
I have spent more hours that I care to remember sitting at airports. I love watching families reunite, lovers melting into one another’s arms, fragile old people being wheeled out in wheelchairs to meet their loved ones. I recognize the detached “I am on a business trip” air that the professional travelers have surrounding them.
I have spent a lot of time waiting to be collected, or for coaches, buses and trains. I have seen thousands of loved ones being met with “Welcome” balloons and bouquets of flowers. I do not have a romantic bone in my body. I am quite a serious person who loves deeply without conditions or expectations. I have never been met with flowers or balloons only my name on a hotel ID Board.
This morning when I disembarked the aircraft it was a glorious sunshine day in South Africa. I was one of the first off the aircraft and went through passport control within minutes. I could not believe my luck when I got to the carousal and my luggage was already there! Customs was a breeze. I walked out of Terminal A and no Danie…. I knew he was minutes away from the airport when we landed because I phoned him to tell him I had landed…. He was minutes away from the airport….
I phoned him and there was no reply…. I phoned him three more times and still no reply. I shut my mind down. I did not want to think what could have happened in the 30 minutes since I had last spoken to him. I phoned him again and left a message…. I kept glancing around. A couple of taxi drivers started offering their services.
Then I saw him. My beautiful, handsome husband carrying this huge, beautiful bouquet of flowers! My unromantic heart was touched by this beautiful gesture. It was great feeling his arms around him and hearing him say “I really missed you”.
Vic is looking great. Her pain control is optimal! She is enjoying the pain free time she has been given by Hospice. I missed her so much! I am at peace being home.
Despite the fearful trauma and pain of Vic’s journey we are happy as a family! I cannot imagine going through this painful journey without Danie and his beautiful, wonderful children and our grandchildren. We are a family of love.
“Chloe, sweetie, wake up! You have to go to school!”
“Nooooooo….I don’t want you to go!!” she wailed.
“We will see you again after Christmas….and Oupie is coming to see you next week!”
“Okay!”
For the last time in a long time I dressed my precious little Chloe. I held her skinny little body and breathed in the smell of her hair. Tears ran down my cheeks when I thought “How long before I can hold her again…”
I fed her… brushed her teeth and held her cup when she drank her tea. Now I must tell you that my little Chloe is very independent and she only humoured me….
Georgia came and sat on my lap and said “Me want you to stay…” She did not cry when I left. I cried.
I hate goodbyes! There are so many tears between “goodbye baby – see you soon” and “Hello my angel, I missed you”…
Tomorrow morning I am home. I will see my beloved Vicky and all my grandchildren! Jared has been posting on his BBM status how much he misses me… It is sad to leave but that is the way life is. We can never have it all.
As much as we desire good health, joy, peace, financial security, love and laughter for us and our loved ones, it is impossible to achieve all of it! We are a blessed family. We have love, laughter, joy and peace. Good health eludes us… We cannot all be together and see one another on a regular basis. Yet we are not separated from all the children and grandchildren. And Skype is great!
I am surrounded by a wonderful family who care and love unconditionally! I have an amazing husband who I adore. I don’t have many friends but my few friends are loyal, supportive and caring.
Chloe loves treasure hunts. In May when we had a treasure hunt I hid Mr Maker surprises Chloe promptly told me that the Pirates cheated. They did not hide coins and Mr Maker presents don’t count! So this time around I went armed with a map of my room and chocolate coins …. When she gets home from school today she will go to my room to double check that I have really left! The postman delivered the Treasure Map this morning… I wish I was there to see her having fun…
Tomorrow I will go to gym with Jared and Jon-Daniel and I hope to see Henk and Yuri. Maybe I will see Kari and Simone on Friday…
Time is closing in on usQuicker than I would have wanted it to I tried to make the moments last But still they slip away Day by dayHour by hour Minute by minute Our time together lessens With each tick of the clock The day, The moment I have feared For months now Continues to draw closer Soon I will be saying Good-bye
Saying good-bye To someone I love With every inch of my soul Watching you leave As I stand crying There is nothing more I can do No more time I can savor No more hugs to drag out Nothing left Except time And distance A long and lonely stretch of highway That separates our love
Now it is summer and I must wait I count each day until the moment. Where I can see your face again and feel your little arms wrapped around me as we sleep Together as one Saying good-bye is never easy but one must always remember that good-bye does not mean forever and there will come a time when again we can say Hello.
We spent the entire day chilling! We had a great day filled with laughter and joy.
Yuri and Chloe last summer
Life is so uncomplicated here. There is laughter and joy. There is discipline and tears. There are toys on the floor and the smell of food in the air… There are little hands that pick up and scribble. Shrill voices that shriek “Oumie!!” when they are threatened with disciplinary action… Hugs and kisses and lots of “I love you’s.”
Laughter and joy
In two days’ time I will return to South Africa.
Henk
I will leave behind my beautiful granddaughters, my son and his lovely wife. I will take with me the memories of 10 carefree days of laughter and no responsibilities. I will return to my structured and ordered life, the antiseptic smell of illness and medicine that permeates the air….
Yuri, Simone and Kari
Kari and Simone will come and spend the weekend. Yuri, (who thinks I am the coolest gran in the world because I build armoured vehicles) will jump into my arms and ask where his cuzzies are; Jared and Jon-Daniel will volunteer to make me tea and tell me how quiet the house was without me; Henk will say “Hello Ouma… Did you have a good holiday?” in his deep voice; Vic will tear up and I will finally hear the truth about how she has been….
My son Danie, his wife Michaela and the 3 girls
In two sleeps time I shall return to my beautiful South African family and my life as I know it.
I have come to the conclusion that life is about missing people.
When I am in South Africa I miss the UK girls and when I am in the UK I miss the South African grandchildren…
I am having a wonderful time. The girls are amazing. Michaela has very aptly nicknamed Georgia, the middle girl, Osama… and Chloe the eldest “Bin Laden”….. Georgia (Osama) has the face of an angel… She also has a mind of her own. She knows what she wants and will not compromise! When Georgia says “Me wants…” she means it! She is fiercely independent and very bright! She idolizes her daddy and wants her mommy to put her to bed and lie with her at night! She falls asleep in the naughty corner…
Osama in disguise!
Chloe (Bin Laden) is heartbreakingly beautiful! She is 4 years 10 months and just started Big School. She knows her alphabet and numbers, she can write her own name, identify and read words! Chloe has a “boyfriend” and she writes him letters “Freddy I love you”…. Chloe remembers South Africa and says she wants to go back home with me. She has packed a bag and it is standing at the bottom of the staircase!
Bin Laden at rest!
Chloe is a daddy’s Girl. She challenges her mommy all the time and is stubborn! She will not apologize if she believes she is in the right!
The family Angel
Mackenzie is an angel! I think God knew Danie and Michaela needed a break after the first two terrorists! Her smile reaches her eyes. Her sisters absolutely adore her. She is fed-up with her bottle and is ready to switch to a cup like her sisters!
Two more sleeps and the girls go back to their own beds and I go back to missing them!
I am happy to report that Vic is doing well! I think I am having a mild “separation anxiety” attack but I quickly drowned it in ice-cream!
Whatever the history is behind Halloween it is a tradition in the UK and we went trick or treating tonight. The girls were so excited. To them it was all about the dressing up and knocking on the doors of neighbors for treats…
We have a lovely evening! Most of the neighbors lights were turned off – Halloween language for “Do Not Disturb” and very few homes were decorated. I saw no bonfires or fireworks. (I heard a couple of crackers after the little one’s went to bed.) The people who opened their doors handed out cup cakes and sweets. The girls squealed with delight!
Another day filled with joy and laughter.
ChloeAll ready to go Trick or Treat
Halloween History: 13 Strange Facts On Why We Celebrate Halloween
Halloween History 13 Strange Facts On Why We Celebrate Halloween
It’s that time of year again — Halloween! But before you tear the wrappers off 87 “fun size” Milky Way bars, here are 13 things you didn’t know about the spooky season.
1. Halloween celebrates the Christian holiday of All Hallows Eve (followed by All Saints Day on November 1). But the Christian holiday is likely rooted in the Celtic holiday, Samhein, or a number of other pre-Christian harvest festivals.
2. In Great Britain, Jack-O-Lanterns are traditionally made from turnips. The Halloween custom came to American through Irish immigrants, and since turnips weren’t cheap state-side, Americans used pumpkins. Today, pumpkins are used worldwide, to the disappointment of turnip farmers everywhere.
3. The Jack-O-Lantern tradition comes from another Celtic tale. Jack tricked the Devil into paying for his drink, so the Devil gave Jack a hellish ember. But crafty Jack placed the ember safely into a turnip, which he carved and carried with him so as to scare away any future hellish encounters.
4. Pumpkin carving in bulk is a popular Guinness World Record. The proud Halloween enthusiasts of Highwood, Illinois took the record in 2011 with 30,919 simultaneously lit Jack-O-Lanterns.
5.Trick or Treating has a short history. In 19th century Scotland and Ireland, there is some record of children travelling door-to-door praying for souls or performing for money or cakes on All Hallows Eve. However, the tradition is a short step from the medieval practice of souling, in which beggars went door to door on October 31 to pray for souls in return for food.
6. Sugar rationing in Europe and America from WWI and WWII kept kids off candy until the late 1940s. Radio programs at the time joked that children would have to explain to adults what trick or treating was, and many adult groups opposed the practice as it encouraged extortion and begging.
7. A 1951 Peanuts comic strip can be credited with the popular spread of trick or treating as we know it nationwide. So dress up as Snoopy if you want to be historically accurate.
8. Oh, and candy-makers are pretty happy about that. Halloween is a $6 billion industry.
9. But with or without candy, everyone loves a Halloween party. Traditionally, aHalloween Cake was baked with a thimble inside. Whoever got the thimble in their slice was to be unfortunate in love for the next year.
10. These days, most major cities see the tourism benefits of major Halloweenevents. Salem, Massachusetts and New Orleans are the traditional hotspots for celebrating in the U.S. New Orleans holds the current world record for largest Halloween Party with 17,777 costumed revelers at once.
11. But what if you aren’t in America? Of course you can find parties all over the U.K., and the French have joined. The French village of Limoges attracted nearly 50,000 partiers last year. Several European countries celebrate a version of trick-or-treating on St. Martin’s Day on November 11.
12. If you are lucky enough to be in Mexico on October 31 (or the early morning of November 1), enjoy Day of the Dead festivities. Kids still trick-or-treat, but are rewarded with candy skulls.
13. Lastly, be safe out there. Statistically, the biggest danger on Halloween is alcohol poisoning. There are no reported incidents of razors in candy or poisoning (except by parents).
Thirteen years ago Vic’s dad was involved in a bad car accident. He was airlifted to a hospital with an excellent trauma unit.
When Vic and I arrived at the hospital we were greeted by a trauma councillor. He explained that Tienie was being stabilized but that the situation was grave…. It was terrible seeing Tienie lie in the ICU ventilated, swollen, battered and bruised.
The news was not good. Tienie would be a quadriplegic if he survived….
Tienie was one of the most vibrant, energetic party animals I ever knew. We were childhood sweethearts. We started dating when I was 13.5 years old. I have photos of us dancing at his 16th birthday party. We got married very young. We got divorced very young. We remained friends and business partners until his death. Tienie was an accountant by profession and hated every second of it. He turned to property development and went from one cash flow crisis to the next. He was one of the most intelligent people I ever met but also one of the stupidest!
Tienie was a giver… He would give away the clothes off his back. He hated sleeping. He said it was a waste of time. Tienie never cried… he mourned Vic OI diagnosis in a different way. Some men love cars…Tienie loved women. He was a loyal friend. He was the world’s friend. Everybody loved Tienie.
The day after the accident I had some time alone with him. I spoke to him and told him that I had forgiven him for cheating on me and finally leaving me. Standing next to his bed I realized for the first time that I had also caused him a lot of pain!! I asked him to forgive me.
I also told him that I knew he was worried about his situation at that moment in time. All he had to do was pray to God and ask him for forgiveness. I held his hand and prayed for him.
A single bloody tear ran down his cheek. I knew he had heard me and that all was okay….
The machines went crazy and I was asked to leave. I knew Tienie was gone as I walked out of the ICU….
Six days later Vic signed the consent forms for the machines to be switched off. She also signed the consent for Tienie’s organs to be donated. That is what he would have wanted.
Tienie was buried on his birthday, the 10th of November 1999
Thirteen years later my child still mourns her father.
I know that when the time comes Tienie will be there to take Vic’s hand to lead her towards the light….
I woke up at the crack of dawn when Chloe climbed into my bed with me.
“Oumie I cried for you when you went back to South Africa” she whispered as she crawled into my arms
“I cried for you too my baby” I said
“No Oumie, I looked. You did not cry…”
Chloe was right. I worked so hard to control my emotions, to not upset the girls further, when I left. I swallowed my tears until the girls drove off with their Grandad. As they pulled off I broke down and sobbed. The tears were streaming down little Chloe’s face…
Today was all about laughing and fun. I painted Georgia’s face – she wanted whiskers and Chloe wanted the South African flag. They then decided to paint my face. Chloe also decided to improve Georgia’s painted face ….
It took a little while to clean off all the face paint!
Face paint!
Yesterday Vic did not a great day. She vomited and had severe intestinal cramping. By today she has settled down and doing well. I am so relieved. Technology is amazing. We Skype at night and BBM all day. I spoke to both the boys tonight. I miss them so much.
Many years ago Danie Jnr once said to me he always misses someone. When he is with his Mom he misses his Dad… I often remember those words. When I am in Johannesburg I miss him and his family. When I am with him and his family I miss the South African kids and grandkids.
But for now I am basking in the love of my UK grandchildren and kids. Life is great!
Mackenzie, Chloe and GeorgiaTears welled up in Vic’s eyes when I said goodbye. “Have a wonderful time Mommy. Give my love to my brother, Mac and the girls…”
“We will Skype every day angel” I promised
“Bring our cuzzies back in your suitcase Oumie” Jared said
And then we were on our way to the airport. It took every ounce of my strength not to stay. I kept seeing Vic’s tear filled eyes….
It was a wonderful flight. I literally slept from Johannesburg to London. I had a cup of tea at the airport and caught the coach to Coventry. I slept from Heathrow to Coventry….
It was so great seeing Michaela again. We had lots of tea and chatted non-stop. Mackenzie, the one-year old baby cried and would not sit with me. We pull faces at her and chat on Skype but that is so different to real life. She will warm to her Oumie!
At 3pm we first collected Georgia from Nursery School. She was quietly sitting on the carpet in her class and when she saw me she just mouthed “Oumie…” We hugged and kissed and she held onto me as if to say “Don’t go…”
At 3.15pm Chloe’s classroom doors opened. Chloe was sitting next to a little boy and did not notice me at first. Her teacher called out her name and she got up to walk out of her classroom. Her blue eyes connected with mine and disbelief spread over her little face. She went from walking to flying!
We spent a wonderful afternoon playing and chatting. I got to help with the girls bathing. Mackenzie no longer cries when I come near her and her sister wanted to sleep in my bed with me….
I am such a blessed woman. I am surrounded by love.
I was recently nominated for the Lovely Blog Award and graciously accept. It is indeed a great honor when someone of Melba’s calibre acknowledges my blog. http://poemattic.wordpress.com/2012/10/20/lovely-blogger-award-nomination-continued/ Melba Christie is an extremely gifted poet and writes “Poetry is life. It is a big part of my life.” Melba is truly passionate about poetry
The Rules for the Lovely Blog Award:
– Thank the person who nominated you and link to them in your post.
– Share seven unknown things about yourself.
– Nominate other bloggers and blogs that you like or admire.
– Contact the bloggers you nominate to let them know and to link them back to your post.
I cry in the shower
Danie (my husband) was the first man, with children, I ever dated. I was scared of children and the complications they bring….I only dated single, childless men
I find gardening therapeutic
I am a Crime Channel TV junkie
I HATE and DETEST lying. It is unforgivable
I have not worked to a budget in years
I paint.
I have nominated the following bloggers because I enjoy their blogs very much and have found their personal journeys and comments helpful:
There are many, many more wonderful bloggers. The nominated bloggers listed above mean a lot to me. Some of them are very ill and others have lost dear ones. Some are an absolute source of amazing information. Aarthi Raghavan http://sickocean.wordpress.com/ wrote a beautiful poem and dedicated it to Vic and I.
The above bloggers all have a special place in my heart. I urge you to take the time to visit their blogs.
Melba, once again I thank you for your beautiful poetry and this award. I am honoured!!
A very gifted young lady has honored me by awarding me the Beautiful Blogger Award. Not only did she honor me in this manner but she also wrote some really flattering things about my blog. Pat is a very gifted and published writer and this truly makes this award so special! Pat also paints silks and makes beautiful handmade gifts. Please check this out and join me as being one of Pat’s loyal blog-followers/ fans. http://patwoodblogging.wordpress.com/pats-pop-up-shop-october-2012/
Pat thank you for this award. Thank you for all your heartfelt comments and loyal following of my blog.
You are truly a Beautiful Blogger.
Seven things about myself:
I am a frustrated amateur photographer
I used to gamble
I love watching TV
I think that cooking is a labor of love….
I bake a mean Christmas Cake that comes with an age restriction
I only learnt to cook in my 30’s and bake in my 40’s
Aarthi Raghavan, http://sickocean.wordpress.com, http://mysticparables.wordpress.com, a very talented poet, whose work I enjoy immensely, has written a beautiful poem and dedicated it to Vic and I. We are so honored and blessed with the gift of your words and your heart! Thank you so much Aarthi!
the love you share the words that say you care those moments between you and your daughter those drops of peace and happiness and joy save them like drops of pearls save them like diamonds rare that is a form of unending love that gives and gives and never expects be there like a rock for your child and i am sure she would win and survive our world is one of miracles too our world is an oasis rarities and your child too shall her courage prove just be there with a smile always give her the courage to stand taller than before she shall overcome her struggles soon prove all wrong and herself right she must win and win this time make sure you are there to know witness her strength, her wars, her fight love can kill the worst of fears and happiness shall soon return changing the way she views her life…
South Africa is advertised as “Sunny South Africa” with beautiful white shores and blue skies. Barbeque is our national pastime. Today is an overcast day. It is as if Mother Nature is preparing me for England’s grey skies, drizzling cold and wet weather.
By now I assume everyone has concluded that I got the go-ahead from Hospice to travel!
I am hopping, skipping and jumping with excitement. I cannot wait to see my UK babies. Not only see them but hug, kiss and hold them.
Vic is insisting that I go. We are both fearful but I also realise that I desperately need a break. There is never a perfect time. Vic is very swollen and not well at the moment. She is partially obstructed but we will clear it by Thursday. The Hospice Sister will pop in every day to evaluate and monitor her and report back to me.
In the words of the Hospice Sister Ceza: “Things are slowly going downhill. Go now. You need your strength for what lies ahead”.
Timing, as always, is an issue. Vic is well enough for me to travel but on Monday it is little Yuri (youngest grandson’s) school concert, Simone (2nd eldest granddaughter) birthday and Lani’s (2nd eldest stepdaughter) 40th birthday in the week that I will be away. I have still not seen Liza and Adrian…. On the other hand I will get to see the girls “trick or treat”, Chloe is on a week’s school holidays and I will watch the extravagant Guy Fawkes fireworks displays and bonfires being lit… I feel so selfish and caught between two fires.
I am scared for Vic, worried about the boys, guilty for Yuri, Simone and Lani and excited as can be about seeing Danie, Michaela and the girls. On the one hand I feel so selfish. On the other hand I realise that I need a break. It has been a year out of hell! On a daily basis the demands on me are increasing. It sounds as if I am having a pity party and/or trying to justify my decision to go to the UK….Yes I am!
The Hospice Nurse will start on Wednesday evening. I must shop for groceries and ensure all meds are in stock. I must write up a medication schedule for the nurse….
Got to run! Lots to do! I will make it up to everyone….I hope!